Therapist telling me it's time to move on

[EveHarrington]

No one has offered more than CBT or meds. Also any thought of me doing any kind of prevention work is dubbed as avoidance. I feel f*cked either way.

That’s just how it is in the psych world. You MUST go out and seek other kinds of treatment. Most of the time you won’t be offered anything else other than what your therapist provides. Occasionally someone will refer out for EMDR.

 

[talon]

Long story short, I'm still injured from my accident 15 months ago. I've hit a plateau in physio with the current information we have on my body, so I am currently not being treated. I have been referred to various other tests due to symptoms (i.e. numbness, memory issues and etc). I saw my therapist for the first time in like 3 weeks today (in the meantime I had to go in and see someone else because this time around I had a hard time managing alone). Today in session she commented that it's time I move into the acceptance stage of grief and loss, citing maybe the way my body is now is 'as good as it's going to get'.

I am not ready to accept this. I understand a therapist's job is to push you into uncomfortable things, but pretty sure it's the individual who determines when they are ready to process something major in their life like that. If I accept it as it is now, I accept that I no longer can hit the gym or basically do anything I used to enjoy. Sorry it's taken me longer than 1.5 years to just suddenly be okay with what happened to me! Especially since I have pain everyday to remind me of what I've 'lost'.

Each to its own is your therapist a Doctor no ? It is sometimes hard to accept things as they are but let me give an example which may or may not help . My nephew had an accident at work over 20 yrs ago and in recent years has had infection where septicemia set in which is life threatening . Having become so unwell the solution was to have his foot removed . I went to see him in hospital a year ago following his operation and he was so relieved. Of course he would rather have two feet but being alive and well after being so ill means he is really happy its all over. Sometimes accepting things can be hard but being alive is about living rather than just existing . I hope you will improve and prove them wrong . How well you recover is down to you . So many have got it wrong. Be strong there are those who care and you well wish

 

[Tinyflame]

Eta, I should have completed the thought.. physically, I think, don't take 'no' (or 'yes') for an answer- do whatever you can do regardless of prognosis or nay-sayers, is what I've seen and believe.

But far as emotionally, psychologically, spiritually- I don't think it's realized that the very process of risking the situation will end differently can be as painful as what the consequences were in the past when the trauma(s) occurred and the situations ended badly.

Because I was thinking, that is the difference between people 'risking' again; the very effort of risking, isn't associated with nor does it take the same toll on them, as it does for people with ptsd. It can't just be reflected on in a 'past' box, it's experienced or felt now. Which is why so much emphasis is put on grounding, I suppose. It has to be a choice to risk despite how bad it feels, not because of the absence of it. Or choose not to. Which is, when you think about it, a logical and 'sane' decision, to not to suffer, or avoid suffering, pain and fear.

And FWIW, what they don't even know about even anxiety alone could fill volumes. The latest research is showing more and more genetic and physiological and neurochemical/ biological differences than people not inclined to it.

 

[Stephernovas]

I think she is very much missing or misunderstanding the situational uncertainty trigger @recoveringfromptsd said, as you said @Stephernovas about your brain and body's response.

Because 'life' constantly involves situational uncertainty constantly. Much anxiety, including social anxiety, etc, comes from that. But it doesn't involve lived experience of uncertain situations and where will it go from there, wherein (you) are 1) discarded, and help or care or protection is absent, withheld or removed (including, but not limited to, abandonment and neglect as a child) 2 ) you are required to perform or accomplish without regard to symptoms/ reality/ limitations or adjustments (we hide most everything everyday as is; in it's extreme it's denial; equally if without resources we are accustomed to having to do it ourself, prehaps since a child, and we know how we felt and how well that turned out (sic) ) , and 3) are faced with violence or trauma introduced with the situational uncertainty (adult and child abuse, of all forms; stalking; threats; coercion; etc), and the consequences/ backlash/ punishment and risk, and no protection or sufficient resources for defense.

If you've lived those things, and more, the meaning of it, the reactions to it, and what it signifies for you, are very different. If that makes sense. To the average person uncertainty brings anxiety, maybe disappointment, discomfort or maybe a low level of dread; with ptsd it's a 5-alarm fire. It's what is believed, felt, perceived, and feared, that will follow the uncertainty, that is the experential reality, far and beyond what someone without it experiences; as @Abstract said, this is 'now'.

Most of the time when the conclusion is, it's just 'try harder', something critical has been missed. JMHO.

Hugs to you. :hug:

Well, interesting that I read all of this today. Firstly, thanks for sharing - I've had my own share of horrible stories like that and can appreciate how awful you must've felt. At one time I was triggered really bad in a session, and in the back of my mind I figured my next session would be one with my therapist and her boss terminating me - a horrible approach regardless if they think termination is the best approach or not). Secondly, I'd like to note that I have started a daily journal/symptom tracker to help the post-concussion doctor, my therapist, and worker's comp (maybe) see exactly how terrible I have it most days. I hope it shows ambition, and the efforts I am employing to help myself recover as best I can, and when I report troubles (in either using a certain skill, or a persistent symptom/issue) it is heard, respected and addressed.

The chart (I'm still tweaking it) has 1) goals for the day 2) symptom (list of physical injuries, PTSD and post-concussive) 3) time 4) intensity 5) trigger 6) plan of action/treatment 7) Outcome - did it work?

I don't know how much more clear or transparent I can be with these people. I'm actually currently coming down from being super symptomatic, so much so that I almost threw up (and probably was pushing myself into a panic). From doing this, I think somedays I have even have myself fooled of how much I think I can handle. I keep hearing their expectations and goals for me, which convinces me I'm 'not as bad as I believe', until I hit points like these where it's beyond evident I'm simply not at that point in my recovery. They seem to only see the time that has gone by (1.5 years), versus what treatment, tests and assessments they have given to accurately and truthfully help me resolve the injuries. From day 1, I've had to prove my injuries before I get treatment. That makes me very sad, as I am constantly wondering and struggling about how ill I have to be (and how much time/my life they are going to waster) before I get appropriate treatment. I try really hard to do as much as I used to before my accident, but like I said, I get exceptionally symptomatic and ill to where I feel beyond terrible and I can't do anything but lay on the couch and suffer - not only do I suffer, but my dogs do as well since I get so sick, getting out for a walk turns into a horrible chore!

The activities I have been setting as goals aren't even that absurd either. I do my best to choose one outing/social activity a day, to ensure I make a proper healthy meal, to tidy something in my home (major cleaning all in one day is too much for me), an attempt at exercise/yoga, and then attend any appointments. For the majority of this chart (I started on Oct 21 - you can see I've struggled with headaches and nausea for many days in a row. Out of the week, I had ONE day that was decently okay and even from that I still had my constant hip/leg injury that has still not been addressed which bothers me daily.

I know I originally came on here griping about them trying to send me back to work, but honestly I really could use some freaking basic support in being able to function daily without any freaking symptoms. Just one day I'd like free from feeling anxious, ill or injured. If I can barely manage my goals for the day, how can you slap more responsibility and expectations on someone who has shared many times that those are the EXACT triggers for symptoms.

Luckily my post-concussive doc has noticed my symptoms worsening so she has referred me to an SLP therapist. Perhaps they can help in teaching everyone to back off and allow me to pace myself. I had one phone conversation with the SLP therapist and hearing their perspective and what they do with clients gave me some hope. There was talk of understanding how tough it can be, and how pushing a person into/beyond their symptoms will actually delay their progress further AND that there is no time limit on each individual's injury. They told me I wasn't crazy, making things up, or lying (I mean I know I'm not but after a while of others' commentary and being injured for so long your brain sometimes turns on you). I was also able to share my hopes and expectations (i.e. respecting my self-awareness of my own body and listening to my boundaries). We also chatted about being open-minded to tactics and varying perspectives - to which I did not shut down, I just highlighted that's where the respect comes into play. I may say I'm ready for 1/2 of that right now, but I don't feel comfortable with the second half so I would rather not do that right now. Overall, a good chat and I'm motivated to work with someone who isn't going to make me feel terrible for becoming ill and symptomatic by telling me I'm not trying hard enough or could do more. We'll see!

 

[katz]

Long story short, I'm still injured from my accident 15 months ago. I've hit a plateau in physio with the current information we have on my body, so I am currently not being treated. I have been referred to various other tests due to symptoms (i.e. numbness, memory issues and etc). I saw my therapist for the first time in like 3 weeks today (in the meantime I had to go in and see someone else because this time around I had a hard time managing alone). Today in session she commented that it's time I move into the acceptance stage of grief and loss, citing maybe the way my body is now is 'as good as it's going to get'.

I am not ready to accept this. I understand a therapist's job is to push you into uncomfortable things, but pretty sure it's the individual who determines when they are ready to process something major in their life like that. If I accept it as it is now, I accept that I no longer can hit the gym or basically do anything I used to enjoy. Sorry it's taken me longer than 1.5 years to just suddenly be okay with what happened to me! Especially since I have pain everyday to remind me of what I've 'lost'.

I'm sorry that you feel like this. I read you note and can really symthasize with you. I fell last year on the ice and concrete! It even knocked me out for a few minutes.

Like you, I went in for treatment and tests. Everything you can imagine. Even the one where they poke you with "multiple" needles. Ouch! However, they can't find anything wrong. They are telling me that "it's my age". So, I guess I officially became "old" when I hit the pavement. Amazing how one moment can change your status with the doctors. ---Yet the pain doesn't go away. :(
I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Stephernovas]

I'm sorry that you feel like this. I read you note and can really symthasize with you. I fell last year on the ice and concrete! It even knocked me out for a few minutes.

Like you, I went in for treatment and tests. Everything you can imagine. Even the one where they poke you with "multiple" needles. Ouch! However, they can't find anything wrong. They are telling me that "it's my age". So, I guess I officially became "old" when I hit the pavement. Amazing how one moment can change your status with the doctors. ---Yet the pain doesn't go away. :(
I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks. I did the needle test too - not a good time!