Therapist Went to a Conference (aka: beware, future guinea pig)

[Skywatcher]

I love that my T likes to remain current and educated on trauma research and things to try. Only problem is that this new thing we tried isn’t all Rose petals. I finally figured out that it set off my abandonment warning lights and I signed up for an extra session this week. Probably just to make sure my T is still there.

We began by analyzing when all of my panic attacks began. I said 12, then realized maybe that thing when I was 10 was actually a panic attack. Oh, and that 3 year old thing as well, followed by more throughout childhood. A swirl of panic attack feelings welled up inside me as I dug my fingernails into my arm to ground. (Feeling it now). We talked about how my adult panic attacks are related to those and what caused them. Then we talked about how adult me now has the skills to comfort and protect my younger parts.

All great and empowering. Only problem is that my younger parts are freaking out. They are afraid that T is trying to leave them. They are attached to her. They like me, but view her as stronger.

This new activity has created an internal mess. I guess I am wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to help me here. Also, would like to hear stories about new things your T has tried from trainings and conferences that somewhat backfired.

 

[Freida]

Mine tried flashing rather than emdr. Still not sure how it was supposed to work but it went me into a massive panic attack and she had to spend the entire session trying to get me back. Needless to say it was a lesson in what not to do in the future. :) I'd suggested letting thought know how you reacted so she can help get you grounded again and put that treatment in the "nope" file

 

[Skywatcher]

@Freida I ended up going back two days later because I couldn’t calm my system down. Interestingly, this mess opened up new areas of work that will probably be beneficial to my healing, eventually. We did get all of my parts into healing areas of their own. Now, I’m curious what goes through the therapist’s mind when the techniques fail.

 

[Justmehere]

Did the technique fail? Symptoms and fears being stirred up isn’t always the sign a therapy failed. Sometimes it’s part of the process. It sounds like it will have some positive results over the long haul. It may or may not be the best fit for you, but it also may not be a total failure.

 

[Cypress]

My T often encourages me to comfort my child parts myself. I think this is part of the therapy for folks like us with complex trauma and parts. I’m learning to do this right now. It’s really hard. I agree. But I think it will be worth it to learn to self-soothe. Even though comforting a child part does not feel like self soothing, I think that’s what it is.

 

[Wendell_R]

My T tried a new strategy for bringing my parts together. Little Wendell felt abandoned and terrified, and I told her the next week it all felt a little forced. That's when I learned that she had just learned about it. But ... after backing up a bit and understanding what she was trying to accomplish, it turns out that that session was a turning point. So my experience is that new things can be really useful to help find new & productive directions, but there can be some confusion & turmoil that goes with it.

 

[Skywatcher]

My T tried a new strategy for bringing my parts together. Little Wendell felt abandoned and terrified, and I told her the next week it all felt a little forced. That's when I learned that she had just learned about it. But ... after backing up a bit and understanding what she was trying to accomplish, it turns out that that session was a turning point. So my experience is that new things can be really useful to help find new & productive directions, but there can be some confusion & turmoil that goes with it.

Almost sounds like your therapist went to the same conference. Lol. I’m glad mine went because when all of my attachment issues hit the fan last fall, she seemed lost. Like she wasn’t used to dealing with my type of trauma and it was frustrating her and I think she made some major mistakes. Now I feel like she is really doing well in my treatment and I have gained some really important skills because of her.

 

[Freida]

Now, I’m curious what goes

I've been with mine for way too long....her response was along the lines of...well crap...that didn't work. :laugh:

 

[Wendell_R]

it was frustrating her and I think she made some major mistakes. Now I feel like she is really doing well in my treatment and I have gained some really important skills because of her.

well crap...that didn't work

One of the year's theme's for me is to embrace my imperfection. Watching a good therapist go through that "well crap...that didn't work" process is so valuable for me all by itself. Not just that the corrections help to get us, as clients, back on the rails. But really to see our therapists model for us how we can be imperfect people and still move forward in life without shame.

This week's homework (self-imposed) for better acceptance of imperfection is to wear mismatched socks to work one day.

 

[Skywatcher]

@Wendell_R the irony there is that I frequently wear mix matched socks because it’s just easier, lol. However, I get what you’re saying. ;-)

 

[Wendell_R]

I frequently wear mix matched socks because it’s just easier, lol.

Yes, it's good for me to remember that what freaks my brain cells out can be completely different than what freaks out another person. I hope I can get to the "it's just easier" state!

 

[susannahsays]

One time the therapist accidentally wore mismatched shoes. They were the same style, but one was black and one was dark brown.