Therapists couch smells bad

[FauxLiz]

@KwanYingirl i get that just a suggestion last one and it may not work but what if you gave him a small group of fragrant herbs in a planter for his office? No chemicals, all natural great air cleaners and nice to look at?

 

[KwanYingirl]

@FauxLiz the natural fragrance would have to be overpowering to the normal person for it to mask anything for me. I detect smells at very low doses. I have to check with him when it was that I first mentioned it because this might be emotional. The loss of my friend catapulted me into a state of complete inability to tolerate even the sun on my skin. It felt like bee stings. So if the timing is right with that, I have to talk to him about trust and safety, both which I am questioning now because he can’t replace her. He claims to be able to tell the difference in me depending on if it’s PTSD or a chemical reaction. It’s still not the same as being able to call my friend and tell f*ck!!!! and shed know exactly how I feel. I’m sleeping better so that’s progress. Just had an adjustment so my back doesn’t hurt. Haven’t overused my meds for weeks that’s good. My body is just highly sensitive to chemicals. Tiger balm-good Bengay-bad. Thanks for your concern. I grow scented geraniums in the summer. That’s a safe smell. Plus I’m so stressed out about the wedding. There’s a lot of good reasons to suspect it’s emotional.

 

[scout86]

He hasn’t given me any advice as to how to bring myself out of the depression I’m in.

Depression around your friend's death? I can understand wanting to not be depressed, but it seems kind of soon to be "not depressed" over something as major as the death of such a good friend. It's not like this is something you can just "get over", right? It's a hard loss and a big adjustment.

From what you've said, I think you're on the right track with this being "emotional". Seems like of likely there are a lot of things all wrapped up together here. Maybe this is an opportunity to work on them?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Big bag to unpack!

 

[KwanYingirl]

Well, today was the big day. Would I or wouldn’t I quit therapy because of the smell? You all have been so creative and supportive, I really appreciate the time you took to help me settle down and think wise, not emotional. I had watched a Tara Brach video over the weekend on trauma. Of course the practice starts with GROUNDING. I’ve only truly felt grounded one time during reiki. I felt gravity push me down onto the table and I felt attached, whereas I mostly feel unattached to my surroundings (depersonalization maybe?) but she suggested placing a hand over the heart and calling on my allies, all those people and guide animals I have that support me. That was a different idea and I’ve been practicing it. I can’t remember what the next part is, but after I watch it a few more times I’ll be able to put it into memory.
So I decided to put some tiger balm under my nose and the second I opened the door to the office, it smelled like fresh air. WTF? No smells. None. I asked him if my perception of bad smells happened before or after Karen’s death. He’s pretty sure it was after. Bingo. It was emotional. But I accepted and brought him in as an ally and my whole viewpoint has shifted.
I didn’t think I could live without Karen. The pain was unbearable. But I have lots of allies. Not related to any of them, no big surprise coming from a childhood of pervasive neglect and abuse.
I feel so much stronger now. I have learned not to put all my eggs into one basket. But more importantly, mind over matter. We determined that the bully sticks I keep there to silence Annie are what smells putrid. They are made from bull penises after all. Icky!
So, in conclusion, I came to believe I need to practice grounding daily, if not more. Trust the process, and as Lyle Lovett says, wear your cape.

 

[somerandomguy]

Congratulations! This is huge!!!

 

[Emotional girl]

I haven't replied earlier but just wanted to say well done for today.

 

[Sideways]

Huge shift - what an achievement! I’m sorry there is still so much grief still, but it sounds like you’ve found space to work through it.

 

[whiteraven]

I'm late coming to this, but I wanted to say...wow! Such an amazing change. Congratulations getting this far.

Noises do the same thing for me. When I'm in a really bad/emotional place, I can't tolerate anything more than the chirping of crickets and birdsong.