Therapists Wanting Details

[GreatBike]

Hello,

Is it normal for a therapist wanting to know the details of what happened during a traumatic event (crime victim) rather than focus on helping the patient on how to solve his ptsd?

I was on therapy the other day and the therapist wanted me to go into details of what happened during the incident. Why details? I'm starting to not trust this therapist.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

In my experience, dealing with the actual details of the trauma is part of the process. My therapist says that the more I talk about it, the less power the events have over me. She pairs this with coping skills to living with PTSD. Also, she never forces me to talk about anything that I am not ready to talk about. I would recommend talking to your therapist about why he/she wants you to talk about details. I would also ask about the therapist's plan for helping you with coping skills. There are a lot of different models of trauma therapy out there so investigating more is always an option.

 

[GreatBike]

Thank you.

 

[Chava]

Have you been seeing the therapist long? Trust is a big deal for me (and probably lots of us) and I do feel turned off by anyone who wants sensitive info too fast. But also, this is how some therapists get at trauma...and it works for some people (the talk about details stuff), so I'm not discounting it. But I don't have access to several of my details or even the language because I was too young, too far unconscious (medical emergencies or really drunk), or some of it was less of an event I can recall and likely more connected to ongoing terror. So what I'm doing now is more Somatic Experiencing and body-oriented psychotherapy. It involves regulation, feeling okay in my body, finding a way to complete trauma responses (fight or flight) without having to go into details. For me, once something is sort of processed in my body or a dream, it is helpful to tell my therapist and we can talk, so it's not like anti-talk or details...it's just not the only way.

The few details I have threatened to put me over the edge and took well over a year to share. But then it wasn't so overwhelming and I had more tools in place to deal with it...vs initially not knowing what to do with overwhelm besides burn myself. If you are having trouble with symptoms, like self-harm or suicidal thoughts or just general functioning...all of that should be first in line. So hopefully your therapist could help you address ways to manage symptoms first, and know you have ways to tolerate working on trauma information.

Anyway, if you are feeling like you don't trust your therapist, maybe bring some questions about his/her goals or how the trauma therapy will work...and your concerns. Maybe the process can be slowed down. ? Or consider a therapist or form of therapy you might feel more comfortable with. It's important to trust your therapist, the process, and feel safe...however that will work for you, and your therapist should be willing/able to help you figure that out if you are not sure.

 

[digger]

I think this will partly depend on the type of therapy you are doing. The best thing would be to ask your therapist why sharing the details is important - if you're not comfortable asking your therapist that question, then it sounds like a lot more work needs to be done on building up that relationship and trust first before diving into trauma work.

How long have you been seeing the therapist?

 

[Suzetig]

Is your therapist trained and experienced in dealing with trauma? It's not unusual for those that aren't to expect you to talk in detail about your experiences fairly early on thinking its helpful and not realising the potential for you to re traumatise yourself in the course of talking about it. You really need someone who knows what they're doing to keep you safe dealing with trauma.

In saying that, there are different models of trauma therapy, I've been seeing my therapist for 6 months now and we've just started touching on very general trauma issues. I know at some point we'll talk in more detail but she's been very clear it'll be at my pace and that she can help me put the brakes on if we go too fast.

My therapist is also of the view that talking about trauma removes some of its power each time, that we understand it and pack it away differently each time we speak it through. She has over 20 years experience in working with trauma and I trust her implicitly.

 

[Friday]

1) I've interviewed or been early in treatment with therapists who are all but salivating for the gory details. Cheque please! No thank you. Buh-bye. However...

2) Yes. It's completely normal, often useful, and sometimes necessary.

Ex) If you were raped by a cop... Having a complete and utter meltdown beig pulled over for a speeding ticket makes perfect sense.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It sounds like this is a new therapist, and as such, I'd say no, she shouldn't be asking you for details. Actually, that is a pretty strong 'NO!'

The details are only a part of processing. It is imperative that processing come later on in therapy, not when you first start out with a therapist. Beware of the therapist who doesn't ensure that you have proper coping skills before diving into the details of trauma. (You'd be surprised at how many therapists will literally throw you in the deep end of the pool without even asking you if you know how to simply tread water....but I digress.)

When you do start processing, you should be aware that you are in the processing phase. That is, a therapist shouldn't just start in with the processing of a trauma without notifying the client that it is happening.

It sounds like you are looking for coping skills and your therapist isn't giving you any. Is this correct? I mean that is what I am gathering by you saying that you're looking to solve your PTSD.

 

[Lucycat]

I guess it also depends on how it was worded.

'Would you like to talk about the details?', to me is very different to 'please tell me all the details'

 

[BloomInWinter]

Yes. The details we reveal show the "hotspots" of our traumas, which become good targets for exposure therapy and EMDR.

The simple act of saying them out loud helps our brain begin to enter "the land of approach" where avoidance is eventually overcome and traumatic memories are transformed into tolerable ones.

It is always our decision as to how much detail we choose to share. Avoidance serves a purpose for self-protection, but it also steals our present day experiences and causes them to be lost to our past trauma.

It is a therapist's job to help us conquer the avoidance. That which I avoid becomes stronger over time, and continues generalizing more avoidance over time. This causes severe social constriction, which further isolates us and increases our suffering.

Share what you can, tell them what you won't, and don't feel obligated to do it to please the therapist. But everything we can share loses it's power to highjack our traumatized brains in the present.

It isn't comfortable. It isn't fun. It can be destabilizing if we don't set our own pace and the therapist doesn't teach us how to do so. But it is worth it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If I were you I would tell the therapist that you are not comfortable to discuss the details at this time and need to work on coping skills before you can work on the traumas.

If she cannot handle that, I would get another therapist. If you are not ready you have to fight for yourself, no one will do it for you. I wish you the best with this therapist.