I know what you are talking about. I have recovered from this symptom of PTSD and I did so without dealing fully with the traumatic events. So you can recover and improve with this trait without doing all the trauma work. Just work on this behavior. These are the things that helped me control myself but using the word "control myself" is a misnomer in many ways. Because there is sort of this "zen" quality to it that's hard to explain.
Firstly, I had to BELIEVE that I could control myself. This took awhile to believe it was possible to not rage when suddenly triggered. But when triggered there is part of the brain that knows how to stop before it explodes. It is NANOSECONDS before the explosion. With lots of practice, each and every time I after I had the explosion I had to stop shaming myself, and then ponder and really remember I how I felt right before I opened my mouth or threw somethings etc. Right before the rage starts, There is a nano split second of decision. I had to believe I could find that and act upon it. Once I found that moment I immediately start talking to myself!
What would I say to myself--- "I am NOT angry at this situation currently- this is DISPLACED anger at the past."
2. I had to fully know the rage was DISPLACED anger at the past. In the nanosecond of decision, I'd tell myself this is the past, and I'd remove myself from the situation as quickly as I could. I'd find a place to quickly go to to "process" the rage and anger from the past. Sometimes I would literally shake over and over during this process.
3. I had rituals and ceremonies that I would plan out. I would have funerals, if you will, for the past. I did these alone, but I know people who would invite others to their ceremonies. One friend who did this took eggs to her ceremony and threw them at trees and screamed at the top of her lungs "I hate you you mother f*cker" and raged at God and threw eggs. She had her friend be a witness. At the end of the egg throwing screaming, she then said a prayer that that was over and this is now and deterimined to not be a rager or angry person. So I did similar things sometimes at night or morning, whatever, it was my ceremony and I planned it thoughtfully.
4. When I was finding my nanosecond of decision, I used Klonipin only when needed. I could "feel" that I was edgy, I could feel that I was irritable. So I used klonipin for about 3 months. I noticed that I was really edgy around 4 oclock-- hello- the time I'd get home from school and the sun would start to set and the living hell I used to live in would occur,,,, yeah, 4 oclock. I had to work on that time of day for this issue.
It took me a year. The key was to remember that the rage was Displaced, and then use my triggered state to express the anger I felt back in the abuse but never had a chance or ability to express it. So I used it to process and "release" those emotions out of my body. Only rarely have I raged again since then. Very rarely. Let's just say, don't "surprise" a rape victim with "affection" that's never a good idea. ask first and let no be no!
