RNrecovery
Confident
I started therapy (after a successful run 20 years ago) in 2020 when my PTSD relapsed during COVID. I was lucky to find a therapist who works well with me and never pushed. Despite my defenses we have built up trust. I had reached the point where I was actually able to improve my PTSD symptoms, shut down less often and was coping with four deaths in 2020.
There is a new COVID surge in the area. Nurses from clinics are being moved to help manage the surge. I am so overwhelmed because our work load never decreased between surges. Covid and vaccine distributions has meant double our workload. Now we will be pulled to help with the onslaught of people presenting at our urgent cares and emergency rooms. When we are go no one will be there to do my work. It will be waiting for me.
Last time things got bad I actually pulled back from therapy. I had just started and it felt too vulnerable to talk to someone during the highest stress. The week before last I broke down an cried through most of the session. This bout of covid is shaping up to be worse. We are taking on more work after 18 months of being overworked and the cases are much higher.
I’ve been with her much longer at this point. It feels like therapy will be a lifeline that gets me through this surge. But I still have the huge urge to quit, take time off, anything other than let someone see how upset and overwhelmed I get. I did tell her how I am feeling. It was helpful because she’s supportive but also doesn’t pressure and said if actually felt like I needed a break we could. I said what I’m more afraid of is how much I know I’ll need it in the coming months.
Does anyone else have the urge to quit therapy during times of high stress? It makes me feel like such a failure to have needs. I should be able to just keep my chin and up get through this like everyone else. I’m sure it is a narrative from my abusive childhood. Don’t be a wimp. Why are you crying…
There is a new COVID surge in the area. Nurses from clinics are being moved to help manage the surge. I am so overwhelmed because our work load never decreased between surges. Covid and vaccine distributions has meant double our workload. Now we will be pulled to help with the onslaught of people presenting at our urgent cares and emergency rooms. When we are go no one will be there to do my work. It will be waiting for me.
Last time things got bad I actually pulled back from therapy. I had just started and it felt too vulnerable to talk to someone during the highest stress. The week before last I broke down an cried through most of the session. This bout of covid is shaping up to be worse. We are taking on more work after 18 months of being overworked and the cases are much higher.
I’ve been with her much longer at this point. It feels like therapy will be a lifeline that gets me through this surge. But I still have the huge urge to quit, take time off, anything other than let someone see how upset and overwhelmed I get. I did tell her how I am feeling. It was helpful because she’s supportive but also doesn’t pressure and said if actually felt like I needed a break we could. I said what I’m more afraid of is how much I know I’ll need it in the coming months.
Does anyone else have the urge to quit therapy during times of high stress? It makes me feel like such a failure to have needs. I should be able to just keep my chin and up get through this like everyone else. I’m sure it is a narrative from my abusive childhood. Don’t be a wimp. Why are you crying…