joeylittle
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Say: I am having a hard time with withdrawal, and I am worried about my safety.
He can take it from there. He'll ask questions, just answer them.
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Thinking Of Hospitalizing Myself
- Post starter Smile
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He can take it from there. He'll ask questions, just answer them.
D
Deleted member 31177
I took myself to a mental hospital, Las Encinas Hospital, in Pasadena, CA some years back when I was going to end it (but my cats saved my life). I was there for 3.5 weeks. If you DO mention you want to end your life, (or hurt others), they will put you on a 50/50 (72-hour hold) in a "white room" which is a horrible place where you don't want to be - everything is taken from you, even your shoe strings.
When you go into a Mental Hospital, into the general part of the hospital you'll probably have a roommate (of the same gender) and they'll ruffle through all your bags looking for drugs, phones, etc. (so if you want your cell phone and charger, be sure to stuff them in two pairs of sox and don't leave them out and leave the phone on no-ring, and re-charge at night.
They usually will assign you a new Psychiatrist and a new Psychologist or Therapist there at the Hospital. The food was great where I was (one of those that the famous people go to and 100 year old arboretum), but I hated the groups and some of the workers sucked, one nurse I became friends with told me things she shouldn't have about how things work, a well known drummer I made friends with (I played pro percussion) would just leave the facility in his pajamas (he was there for the drug program, in a different area, but we all ate in the same place (really great food!), but he walked to Target in his P.J.'s and called his wife from the Candy section (her name is Candi) and came back telling us about it - others would leave to get beer, etc.; one guy had a limousine pick him up to go see his famous dad's concert - it was a real "harsh" ha-ha-ha place. Dr. Drew's office was there, I met him only to ask where a certain Therapist's office was my first time seeing her and he was pretty darne'd rude!
Anyways, The hospital I went to was ONLY fun at mealtime and in between the groups. They even had washers and driers so we could wash our clothes. Anyways, it was a very "special" hospital, but it's also where I got misdiagnosed by the bad Psychologist and very bad things happened.
I also tried to stop my friend from getting ECT and actually opened the door to that room as they were turning her table upside-down to get ready to do it, and I said "NO MARY, DON'T DO IT, STOP! TELL THEM TO STOP!!" and they yelled at me "YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE!!" and slammed the door in my face. When she came out, she didn't remember me for a few days. Same with another friend I made there - she had no idea who I was. ECT - Don't DO IT!! PLEASE!! Don't EVER let them talk you into it!
Anyways, I just wanted to give you some insight as to what being in the hospital is like. If you really DO feel suicidal then DO let them know, but if you're not, be sure NOT to let them know so you don't have to suffer in that horrible small building with the most highly drugged people and eating cold food and doing absolutely nothing all day.
Most of all ~ Be Well <3
When you go into a Mental Hospital, into the general part of the hospital you'll probably have a roommate (of the same gender) and they'll ruffle through all your bags looking for drugs, phones, etc. (so if you want your cell phone and charger, be sure to stuff them in two pairs of sox and don't leave them out and leave the phone on no-ring, and re-charge at night.
They usually will assign you a new Psychiatrist and a new Psychologist or Therapist there at the Hospital. The food was great where I was (one of those that the famous people go to and 100 year old arboretum), but I hated the groups and some of the workers sucked, one nurse I became friends with told me things she shouldn't have about how things work, a well known drummer I made friends with (I played pro percussion) would just leave the facility in his pajamas (he was there for the drug program, in a different area, but we all ate in the same place (really great food!), but he walked to Target in his P.J.'s and called his wife from the Candy section (her name is Candi) and came back telling us about it - others would leave to get beer, etc.; one guy had a limousine pick him up to go see his famous dad's concert - it was a real "harsh" ha-ha-ha place. Dr. Drew's office was there, I met him only to ask where a certain Therapist's office was my first time seeing her and he was pretty darne'd rude!
Anyways, The hospital I went to was ONLY fun at mealtime and in between the groups. They even had washers and driers so we could wash our clothes. Anyways, it was a very "special" hospital, but it's also where I got misdiagnosed by the bad Psychologist and very bad things happened.
I also tried to stop my friend from getting ECT and actually opened the door to that room as they were turning her table upside-down to get ready to do it, and I said "NO MARY, DON'T DO IT, STOP! TELL THEM TO STOP!!" and they yelled at me "YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE!!" and slammed the door in my face. When she came out, she didn't remember me for a few days. Same with another friend I made there - she had no idea who I was. ECT - Don't DO IT!! PLEASE!! Don't EVER let them talk you into it!
Anyways, I just wanted to give you some insight as to what being in the hospital is like. If you really DO feel suicidal then DO let them know, but if you're not, be sure NOT to let them know so you don't have to suffer in that horrible small building with the most highly drugged people and eating cold food and doing absolutely nothing all day.
Most of all ~ Be Well <3
- Post starter
- #16
Smile
Platinum Member
Wow. Thank you all for your concern and advice. I'm pretty much feeling the same... Perhaps a bit better... Instead of calling psychiatrist back I saw my T. She said I really need more sessions then I'm currently getting.
She also said she doesn't think a hospital would admit me if all I'm having are panic attacks. So there goes that.
Honestly, with my agoraphobia and cig habit, I don't WANT to be stuck in a hospital with people that are way worse off than me. I want to be "put to pasture". A place with rolling green hills, yoga classes & doc's on call. But I know... Those places cost a fortune and don't take health insurance... At least not mine :(
I had a disconcerting dissociative experience the other day and now I'm trying to figure out how to trick my body into getting back into that state? I yearn for no pain but at the same time, want to FEEL. Like hurting myself.
Anyway, verbal diarrhea over
She also said she doesn't think a hospital would admit me if all I'm having are panic attacks. So there goes that.
Honestly, with my agoraphobia and cig habit, I don't WANT to be stuck in a hospital with people that are way worse off than me. I want to be "put to pasture". A place with rolling green hills, yoga classes & doc's on call. But I know... Those places cost a fortune and don't take health insurance... At least not mine :(
I had a disconcerting dissociative experience the other day and now I'm trying to figure out how to trick my body into getting back into that state? I yearn for no pain but at the same time, want to FEEL. Like hurting myself.
Anyway, verbal diarrhea over
D
Deleted member 31177
Smile: EVERYTHING you say is VERY Important - please, please know that!
p.s. I meant 5150, not 50/50, lol!
I totally understand the feeling of wanting to disassociate and just being "gone" for awhile. Although when I'm "gone" it's like I never was because when I "come to" it's like I never left, so it's like no time has passed and I don't remember anything from that disassociative time.
But oh yeaaaah, Rolling green hills (I can't do yoga, I got hurt trying because I was already hurt), but I love talking to cows!! :-D and riding horses in the green hills!! Where I live is filled with green hills since we just had a few downpours (after 4 years of drought) and it's lovely here now!)
I was still working when I went to the hospital (not for long after the hospital) so did have insurance, but had NO IDEA of the cost, I was just thinking of my cats and how much I loved them and wouldn't leave them. When I got that bill {{{{{{{{{{{{faint}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Oh pleeeeeeeeeease don't hurt yourself! When I was at the hospital I met a cutter for the first time and those scars never go away - she had them up and down both sides of her arms and legs and she said she always-always had to wear long sleeves to work no matter how hot it was (when i lived in L.A.)
About the Feeling part . . . there are so many ways to feel and, as Joni Mitchell sang: "Laughin' and Cryin' you know it's the same release . . ." Sometimes I put on music that I know will trigger me to just sob for a long time - because it's therapy for me, it helps me feel, and feel a lot. Sometimes I'll put on Jimi Hendrix "Fire" because I want to feel anger and I'll be in my car in a safe area and just scream the song with anger and that REALLY helps to get anger feelings out (I use music for a lot of things and it helps SO much!!) I hope maybe you'll try it maybe! If this lets me, I'll post this first song for you from me:
https: //youtu.be/V8REbK--3bY
(I had to separate the https: from the // so you can copy and put into google and put them together and hear this most beautiful song that always helps me to really cry, and this song is so meant for you, too! <3 {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
p.s. I meant 5150, not 50/50, lol!
I totally understand the feeling of wanting to disassociate and just being "gone" for awhile. Although when I'm "gone" it's like I never was because when I "come to" it's like I never left, so it's like no time has passed and I don't remember anything from that disassociative time.
But oh yeaaaah, Rolling green hills (I can't do yoga, I got hurt trying because I was already hurt), but I love talking to cows!! :-D and riding horses in the green hills!! Where I live is filled with green hills since we just had a few downpours (after 4 years of drought) and it's lovely here now!)
I was still working when I went to the hospital (not for long after the hospital) so did have insurance, but had NO IDEA of the cost, I was just thinking of my cats and how much I loved them and wouldn't leave them. When I got that bill {{{{{{{{{{{{faint}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Oh pleeeeeeeeeease don't hurt yourself! When I was at the hospital I met a cutter for the first time and those scars never go away - she had them up and down both sides of her arms and legs and she said she always-always had to wear long sleeves to work no matter how hot it was (when i lived in L.A.)
About the Feeling part . . . there are so many ways to feel and, as Joni Mitchell sang: "Laughin' and Cryin' you know it's the same release . . ." Sometimes I put on music that I know will trigger me to just sob for a long time - because it's therapy for me, it helps me feel, and feel a lot. Sometimes I'll put on Jimi Hendrix "Fire" because I want to feel anger and I'll be in my car in a safe area and just scream the song with anger and that REALLY helps to get anger feelings out (I use music for a lot of things and it helps SO much!!) I hope maybe you'll try it maybe! If this lets me, I'll post this first song for you from me:
https: //youtu.be/V8REbK--3bY
(I had to separate the https: from the // so you can copy and put into google and put them together and hear this most beautiful song that always helps me to really cry, and this song is so meant for you, too! <3 {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
- Post starter
- #18
Smile
Platinum Member
Beautiful song! Love Pink. Thank u :)
Forgetful
Gold Member
@Smile I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. I know it can be scary. I've had quite a few hospitalizations (2 for 3+ months each). For me the fear comes from the unknown and having no control. After a couple of days, I've learned the daily routines I can relax a bit. I accept it as a kind of working vacation from life. Then I get scared of leaving.
How are you feeling now?
@Julinha I'd like to listen to that song too but nothing came up when I tried to Google it. What is it called?
How are you feeling now?
@Julinha I'd like to listen to that song too but nothing came up when I tried to Google it. What is it called?
- Post starter
- #20
Smile
Platinum Member
Here's the name of the song... Hope u enjoy :)
Herbie Hancock - Don't give up (feat. P!nk and John Legend)
I'm ok. Thanks for asking :) wait, no! I'm not ok! Would you mind telling me why you were hospitalized? Still weighing my options
Forgetful
Gold Member
@Smile thank you for the song. I'll listen to it later, when it's quiet.
All of my hospital vacations were due to strong SI. The 2 long ones were so long because:
1. I classify it as one but there were 2 days when I was out after 6 weeks. I was stationed in Germany while in the Army. After those 2 days I was sent back because I was "Too unstable to be in the barracks" I remained there until I was sent back to the states and discharged. Total 3 months.
2. The 2nd one was because I had ECT for 4 of those weeks. After another week in that unit I was transferred to an inpatient intensive treatment program in the same hospital. That was for drug abuse and mental illness. That program was 4 weeks.
I hope you take the time to research options in your area so you can feel comfortable with whatever you decide to do. Stay strong and I hope things get easier for you. :hug:
All of my hospital vacations were due to strong SI. The 2 long ones were so long because:
1. I classify it as one but there were 2 days when I was out after 6 weeks. I was stationed in Germany while in the Army. After those 2 days I was sent back because I was "Too unstable to be in the barracks" I remained there until I was sent back to the states and discharged. Total 3 months.
2. The 2nd one was because I had ECT for 4 of those weeks. After another week in that unit I was transferred to an inpatient intensive treatment program in the same hospital. That was for drug abuse and mental illness. That program was 4 weeks.
I hope you take the time to research options in your area so you can feel comfortable with whatever you decide to do. Stay strong and I hope things get easier for you. :hug:
- Post starter
- #22
Smile
Platinum Member
Wow. I'm sorry you went through so much crap :(
Thanks for sharing... Will keep in mind
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