This One Takes Me To 11

[Fargo1]

London, man I am sorry you are going through that shit. I too had/have problems with holding an erection. For me it has depended on my girlfriend. If I can tell she is into it, I can chisel granite. If she is ambivalent, I can go from semi-flaccid to flaccid in no time flat. Which makes her question herself and even less interested in trying. Wash-rinse-repeat.

But you gotta realize that you are not a lesser man. You are just a man. A man who is going through some shit.

Thanks for giving me perspective. I was a great help.

 

[Fargo1]

Jimmy,

You are also an amazing individual. Reading your posts. Hell, reading everyone's posts here. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not found this place. But this is what I was talking about in my letter. Creating spaces with words. Having all of us here talk to each other, give advice.

Just.
f*cking.
Listening.

That is some Powerful Mojo.

It is too bad that we have to pay people to LISTEN to us. It is too bad that they make it so much worse by putting hurdles in our path to recovery. It is too bad that our government doesn't really see the value of deprogramming us. It is too bad that our societies don't value deprogramming us. Wouldn't it cost the society less to just help us from the beginning, then to spend more money fighting spending money than it costs to just f*cking do it...

That is some frustrating shit.

Well I feel like I might be able to get a nap in without booze.

Fargo

 

[Wagon]

Hey Fargo,

Same type of letters I wrote my wife 4 months ago. Its a good thing. We are better now. Wishing you all the luck on this one.

Honesty is key. If you are having one of those days...... tell her.

Wagon

 

[Londonacquisition]

I thank you for tour honesty. I need to say I am o. A special type of boat. After being discharge fr the army I was told by certain military personel about being under surveillance. Of course they did this to prepare me for the future as a civilian. I understood that the surveillance would be via Internet and other means to keep an eye on me at all times. The main type of surveillance that gets to me is called "Active surveillance". This type of surveillance is where operatives contact business owners of businesses I go to and contact and approach friends and family in order to collect intellegence on me. I have never trusted these operatives because in their operations they have given perosnal informatiion about me that they were specifically told not!! To give out. They also try and get my family members to get me to use iligal drugs in order for them to write false reports about me to f*ck me over. No one hs told me otherwise so to me this is true.these operatives have gotten civilians to act as their own personal assets. These civilians who know nothin about me and conducting operations have tried to get me to commit crimes such as robbery and have even trie to give me crack cocaine. This is why I do lot trust them. They follow me in their vehicles. The worst part isthere "To catch a predator operations" they really such at that. Hey Lind as well come out of thir hiding spots and say hello. I now know their faces by memory. Fr about the past 2 weeks or so I have noticed that they have been angry a me. This is because they now have to be responsible for their actions. I will never trust them because their piurpose is to f*ck me over. Listen guys everything th any vet does is ip for surveillance. Everything. And in my case I will be undr surveillance for the rest of my life. Because of that it is extremely important for any operatives and their informants to be responsible for their actions. There is nothing!!!! Wrong with me in in this. Nothing!!! My life d since I am the target ten. I have the right to say whatever i want. I have to say this. My medical providers are kept in the dark on so many things. I need to know that my medical providers can say anything to each other and NOT!! Be punished. It is important for me to be able to say anything and NOT be punished.

Itry and keep my environment as closed off as possible. I have been this way ever since I was deployed and when my environment changes I have to pay attention to it. If it is good then inhave to say that but if it is bad then I have to say that either. My fiends and family have abandoned me because they tell me that they would rather not see me then to allow the operatives to f*ck me over. It is lonely ald I am alone but maybe in 5 years from now my friends and family will talk to me. Maybe. I mis my family members that are in madrid Spain. I have not seen them for a Long time. That last time I saw them was back in 2002. I am think about living in Madrid for a couple of months and attending Madrid university. Maybe.

If inam wrong about the operatives I wish their was someone here to tell me. But since Thetis not then I see them as a bad thing.

I need to say that not all my operatives are bad. I only hate some of them. There seems to be many types of operatives. One of them are "Cyber operatives" they keep watch on me. Evrytime I am on the Internet ald on the phone. They seem to be cool. Wish that the VA would understand how important it is for me to know everything I am saying now.

Think if I did not know this then I would see he ppetartives as part of my flashbacks and so on. It is important for me to be aware of my surrounding at all times ald know what is in it. With my anxiety and hallucinations it is extremely easy for me to get confused. Not knowing what I know would just make things worse. I wish they understood th after almost 3 years of war my mind is broken and it will never be the same. Nwish they wouldn't push me. Life is hard enough as it is. On the other hand after reading many posts I have realized that the VA requires so many doctors to verify how bad you really have your ilnes and other pains. I wish i did not have to go to any extreme to let the VA decision makers know how f*cked up I am. I wish that I did not have to talk to so many doctors. It just males me think that I have to keep defending myself. I spent almost 3 years deployed and just like you guys saw ald experienced traumas that the average soldier will never experience. War is real and as close to hell as possible. It seems that everyone is stuck between a rock and a hard place. The VA is changing. I am so glad. I wishthere was a website I could go to to see what kind of changes they are doing. If anyone knows let me me know. I wish the VA would realize that my PTSD is so bad that I don't need to use drugs or drink in order for me to know that I will never be normal. I wish they would hire more medical providers because the ones they have now are just overworked. Thanks again for the response. I am learning so much. More d more things are making more sense.

 

[Wagon]

Hey Londonacquisition,

If you in the past had US military Top Secret Clearance, there is going to be surveillance. When I was in and out there was no end to the long black cars and weird conversations I was investigated twice. Just normal course of duty. But these guys are bastards. The good thing is, the end is near as that they generally lay off after a period of time.

However, there are things you can do. The Civil Rights Union is a good place to start. We served, we did our duty, we got out. DD214 says we are civilians. Military follow up on this order is right out of line with respects to the constitution.We need to stop this shit. These f*cking NIS/DIS guys are the Nazis of the modern age. f*ck them. We need to stop them.

So if you are harassed by the government and it is recordable. Please contact the Civil Rights Union. This bullshit has gone on long enough. I am very angry about this. Seen it happen to people in the past. Can't believe it.

Talking US here. Not sure about other countries. I can get arreated in Scandinavia for this.

Wagon

 

[Jimmy1]

This the basis of most NATO countries. And I am speaking from experience too.
There is a 10 year secrecy act in most countries. It just means we don't talk about shit, like Anthony warned in the admin area.
Most of the time there is also a two year travel ?, i.e. travelling to know terrorist hot spots. It not that they dis-allow you, they just like to know.

As for them bugging phones, pc's, and surveillance, they have to have cause and reason. They cannot do it just for the sake of it.

If you are being bugged, followed then they have to have cause otherwise your rights are being violated.

The one thing that will get you is paranoia. Paranoia is another symptom of PTSD.
I know a lot of guys that have isolated themselves from the community because they believe everyone is a spy and everybody is out to get them. This is not true. It is paranoia.
In the US, since the famous case of John Walker during the Vietnam era got a lot of people killed, and since 9/11 they are cautious. They do monitor the cell phone networks for key words. You see it on all the documentaries.
But unless you personally have done something wrong, you have nothing to worry about.

Just my opinion. But if you get worked up over it, you will not be able to heal yourself.

 

[Wagon]

Well,

Some people do get followed, regardless of activity. Allot of Sub Mariners get followed for a 6 month period regardless of rank after they get out. The black sedan hanging around outside is unfortunately obligatory and normal.

The good news is for Top Secret Clearance in the US is that it usually only lasts 6 months to a year after service. Unless, as Jimmy has said, you are actually doing something wrong.

Not trying to stir paranoia here. It just is what it is. My post on the Civil Rights Union stands. Everyone remain calm.

I am talking TS Clearance here. Which does take something to get in the first place. (25 to 30 page questionaire including grandmothers dogs maiden name) At least it used to. Anything less than that is generally not a problem.

Again....not breeding paranoia here. Just some facts about signing TS Clearance Doc's in the US military.

Wagon

 

[Londonacquisition]

Thanks guys. There is so much information here. My biggest concern is that the operatives are held to accountability before I was discharged from the army I visited many countries. Visiting family. The surveillance was all Done via Internet. Such monitoring my email and what websites I was on. It was not as intense as the surveillance I am goin through now. I will be visiting family in Spain in January or so. My friends ald family have been approached and talked to be operatives ad every conversation they have my friends and family tell me. So what thy have decided is to not talk to me rather then to have the operatives f*ck me over. This is not para Ian because my feeinds and family give me a description of th operatives ald I have physically seen them with ly eyes. 2 of those f*cking idiots have actually come up to me and tried to start a conversation with in order to become my feeind. You know how I works they get close to you in order to put you kn situation where you commit ancrime ald then when you are in jail because of entrapment they look at you inthe face and tell you it was an operation. Do not trust these f*cks. When I was deployed with 3 units I was knelled in a lot of counter intelligence outside the wire. I saw groups of families butchers, body parts all over the place. Iraqi beheaded bodies, it was just genocide. The morar rounds hit camps almost every 3 days. To this day I the sirens of ambulances still give mea flashbacks of "bunker, bunker,bunker!" we were. In countless fire fights. Ald other teams that I am jus being to remember in the form as horrific flashbacks.
Things that every combat vet on this forum knows all about. I have a lot of family in Spain. Spain girls are so hot.

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey L,
I can understand how you feel being a veteran. Some of the sights we see are permanently embedded into our brain.
But you have to seek therapy to fix this.

As for your Computer, if you have the right virus protection and spyware no one can see what is on your PC.
They can only view once you hit the send button and only if they have cause.

I asked you in your intro about who you served with and where you served. Please answer.

Jimmy

 

[Londonacquisition]

One of my fiends cisco tells me that the dick sucking operative has been trying to get him to f*cknme over. The last time cisco was here he told me that te operative bought him crack cocaine. Cisco said that he was suppose to get me to take it. Operative pieces of shit. f*cking useless. I have been telling everyone to leave my failly and feeing saline. But instead they try and use them agains me. Supid fuvking operatives. Everyone of you should not trust just anyone. weep you guys know what I mean.

Therapy will continue not to work as long as te operatives main goal is to f*ck me over. You need to understand that!!!! And your laptop computer or any other device is being monitored. No antivirus crap will work. I don't trust people because of them.

 

[Londonacquisition]

No one tells me differently so I am correct.