Supporter Those With Ptsd Aren't The Only Ones Who Suffer

[KNmom]

New to the forum and from what I have seen this place seems to be just what I need...I have been married to my DH for 6 years, together 7 (his whole career)....he has done 2 tours and recently been diagnosed with severe PTSD....he was doing ok, then meds went wonky and now I feel like I am in hell....I am looking for support bc I honestly don't know how much more I can take and I am finally at terms with its not just the soldier who suffers....the family does as well!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

As a CSA survivor and ex British military (Iraq 1990) I have been diagnosed with severe CPTSD. You are right a PTSD sufferer can effect everyone around them. I drove everyone I loved away because I would/could not recognise that what I was suffering was trauma remembered, trauma that frightened me beyond the cognitive mind of non-sufferers. My advise be it right or wrong would be to continue with what you are doing and keep coming here for insight and advise. I would however advise speaking with your own Doctor about where you can seek further, maybe more regressive therapy/help for your DH.

Kindest regards if you accept them Laurie

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[arfie]

Welcome to the forum, KNmom. You are absolutely right that the one who has the official dx is not the only PTSD sufferer in the family. It is the very nature of families that what affects one affects all, whether we are aware, or knot. I have often wondered if my own family's domestic abuse cycle could be more accurately called multi-generational PTSD.

but... Whatever that whatever, stay safe, KNmom. Seek support often.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I have often wondered if my own family's domestic abuse cycle could be more accurately called multi-generational PTSD

Not a phrase I have ever heard or used but one I totally agree with. Many need to stop, think and take time to examine the history behind the sufferer and the upbringing, family they grew up yo know.

 

[SMC_1987]

I'm am a sufferer, and I agree completely with what you have said. I have a lot of anger associated with my PTSD and unfortunately my spouse is my outlet to vent my frustrations. There are times when I can control it, there are times when I explode and unload everything on to him, which he does not deserve. I know I do it, he knows why do it, sometimes I just can't help myself and he gets frustrated and fed up with me. You are human, it has to take a toll on the person standing on the outside looking in, wondering why theres very little anyone, even the sufferer themselves, can do to help. I can't imagine what thats like.

Just this week after over a year of telling myself I didn't need therapy I finally cracked and said I would go, for him. Sometimes it takes us hitting rock bottom to look up and see that there are better ways to cope, and that living life is still possible. For me, it took the realization that if I didn't do this I would lose him, the only real connection to "normal" life I still have left. He keeps me grounded. I want to say keep being persistent, but not at the expense of you. Take care of yourself at the same time.

Hang in there. I can't speak for everyone else, but I know that I am a challenge to live with, be with, and love. In the end I guess you have to reflect on why you are doing it, and hopefully that makes it worth it for you <3

I hope you find the support and advice you need here, this forum is a very good resource to get your thoughts out.

-SMC

 

[amethist]

Welcome to the forum KNmom.

It is not easy being a supporter, but it is possible to keep going, as long as you take good care of yourself.

Come down to the supporters section, where you will find loads of support for you as well as lots of useful information and advice.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome! :)

 

[BLHutch]

Welcome. I know that because of my PTSD, chronic and severe at times, I've put my little redhead through hell. At first it was hard for her to know what to say or do and because of my frustrations with what was going on inside my head, she experience the brunt of a lot of my anger. She attended a few therapy sessions with me and then went to a few on her own (with my counselor). That seemed to help get us all on the same page.

Are there any groups for spouses of veterans with Combat PTSD? If so, that might be something to consider. At least it would give you a chance to talk to others who are experiencing what you are. And what you say is 100% correct. You as the spouse and caregiver of someone suffering from PTSD goes through it with them.