Perspective11
Bronze Member
The bus started and as time went on my anxiety went up. There's a roundabout the bus has to do in that area - first panic attack hit. Full blown. The bus turned and never seemed like it was stopping. I got extremely light headed - heart raced. I managed to calm down.
I got across the river - second panic attack hit. Full blown again. I tried to relax. Nothing helped. I got off the bus at the first stop after the river. Called a friend and talked to him for awhile while walking around to a different bus stop with the bus that goes straight to the apartment. Got on the bus - was fine until about the 3 or 4th bus stop - third panic attack started.
I could tell the people on the bus were wondering what was wrong with me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't walk. Head spinning. Heart racing... pounding. I tried everything I could think of. It was dark outside. Even though I rode that bus tons of times - I still couldn't figure out where we were.
I saw the sign that says "emergency" and that just made everything worse.
I had to resort to the only thing that worked before, even though I didn't want to call - I'm angry at myself for calling a friend's work number. I called - panic attack turned into just anxiety.
Few minutes later - panic attack started again. I called again. I'm angry at this point knowing I shouldn't be calling him, but at the same time I knew he wasn't in his office and wouldn't answer.
Safety - that's all I cared about.
I got off the bus as soon as it turned on my street. I paid attention to my breathing. I turned on my ipod - bad idea, which usually is one of the first things I do and I am able to relax more - didn't work at all.
I called my brother and asked him if he would tell our younger brother to meet me down the street - at this point, I was worried it was going to happen again and I was going to just collapse on the side of the street or die.
Stress currently: my dad's doctor is wanting him to have open heart surgery, my dad just got a forclosure notice, i was going to move in with him because of all the stress where I'm currently living, my ex raped me a few weeks ago any possible way he could - wants me back - was here today, my sister is back in hospital for 8th suicide attempt in the last 1 1/2 years, my nephew leaves and never tells anyone where he's going and is gone for days at a time... ok, I need to stop typing about this before I end up back in a panic attack.
I got across the river - second panic attack hit. Full blown again. I tried to relax. Nothing helped. I got off the bus at the first stop after the river. Called a friend and talked to him for awhile while walking around to a different bus stop with the bus that goes straight to the apartment. Got on the bus - was fine until about the 3 or 4th bus stop - third panic attack started.
I could tell the people on the bus were wondering what was wrong with me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't walk. Head spinning. Heart racing... pounding. I tried everything I could think of. It was dark outside. Even though I rode that bus tons of times - I still couldn't figure out where we were.
I saw the sign that says "emergency" and that just made everything worse.
I had to resort to the only thing that worked before, even though I didn't want to call - I'm angry at myself for calling a friend's work number. I called - panic attack turned into just anxiety.
Few minutes later - panic attack started again. I called again. I'm angry at this point knowing I shouldn't be calling him, but at the same time I knew he wasn't in his office and wouldn't answer.
Safety - that's all I cared about.
I got off the bus as soon as it turned on my street. I paid attention to my breathing. I turned on my ipod - bad idea, which usually is one of the first things I do and I am able to relax more - didn't work at all.
I called my brother and asked him if he would tell our younger brother to meet me down the street - at this point, I was worried it was going to happen again and I was going to just collapse on the side of the street or die.
Stress currently: my dad's doctor is wanting him to have open heart surgery, my dad just got a forclosure notice, i was going to move in with him because of all the stress where I'm currently living, my ex raped me a few weeks ago any possible way he could - wants me back - was here today, my sister is back in hospital for 8th suicide attempt in the last 1 1/2 years, my nephew leaves and never tells anyone where he's going and is gone for days at a time... ok, I need to stop typing about this before I end up back in a panic attack.
