Tips For Coping With Kids Without Support

[Magnoliagal]

In 12 days my husband (my only support) is leaving for training. He'll be gone for 11 weeks leaving me to care for our 3 kids alone. They are 12, 10, and 7.

My therapist has suggested we call a family meeting to explain to them what's going to change while he's gone. Things like no sleepovers, limit friends over, etc.

She wants me to come up with positives to offset what I'm going to take away. Problem is I'm not sure how I'm going to feel so whatever it is needs to be something they can do alone or with minimal energy from me.

I'll take all the craziest, out of the box ideas you can come up with. What safe FUN can my kids have while he's gone that won't make me crazy? So far the only thing I could come up with is maybe letting them watch tv during dinner.

 

[Shellbell]

Gosh I don't envy you that situation coming up.

I think having a support network during that time is very important. Having family or friends you can call on for when you are totally overwhelmed will be very helpful.

Organising the sleepovers and times your children go to family members or friends is helpful to give you downtime from all the good and bad stress children cause us.

Having things planned for you to help with stress and anxiety - massages, relaxing baths, getting nails done etc.

As it for 11 weeks, I don't see watching movies is wrong. I know as parents we like to limit TV time, but this is a period of time where maybe the limits could be relaxed.

A friend of mine has a good strategy for when her 5 children aged 1-12 years become too stressful. She has room time and they all go to their rooms to read, have quiet activities for say 30 mins, just to give everyone the chance to calm down and relax, including her. She doesn't use it as a punishment - she explains the benefits of it for her children.

That's all I have for now.

 

[Magnoliagal]

I have no family members or friends. When I said no sleepovers I meant no sleepovers at MY house. LOL My girls are constantly wanting to have friends over. With therapy I've gotten to where I can tolerate them with my husband's help but on my own? Forget it. I'm so not ready for that.

The only downtime I'm going to get is when they are in school. 5.5 hours a day because I have kids in 3 schools.

I'm fortunate in that my kids are old enough to leave me alone when I need it. They are well aware of WHY they need to leave me be when I've had a rough day.

 

[Meadowsweet]

What is it about your children that you find difficult to tolerate? And how do you think you will react if you can't tolerate it?

 

[rightkindofme]

I freak out when I'm left alone for two days so my hat is off to you. My kids are 2 and 4 so I don't think my advice is useful. I give them the iPad unrestricted if I will be alone with them for 48+ hours. I feel guilty because I'm told I should. I really shouldn't. In your boat I would massively restructure rules because I would have to.

To me consistency is one of the most important things parents give kids. Sometimes that means I lower the bar for myself because that is what I can do consistently. I bet you will do ok. It will be hard, but then time will pass and it will end.