Tips On Re-personalizing And Re-realizing? Anyone?

[shimmerz]

if I only wanted to enough. Ugh.

From one TI to another (or whatever it is), it isn't a matter of not wanting to get up. Trust me. I did this for years and I wish I hadn't because the shaming part absolutely does not help. It actually kept me down.

 

[sun seeker]

Wow, lots has happened with this thread while I was busy in crisis mode!

Breathing is the core of all - it alters states, or can be the catalyst for altering states so I decided to focus on that.

Something I notice when I am in this state, is that it's hard to want to breathe. Has it been that way for you? How did you work with it?

Then I would get a sour candy or lemon or something into me as fast as I could to bring the rest of me back into my body.

So is this a kind of dissociation? I hadn't thought about it that way. It feels to me like a way of opting out of life temporarily when I don't feel I have any power to make my situation better. I guess that is what dissociation is, and freezing is further along the dissociative continuum...?

This is what makes me feel like I could control all this if I only wanted to enough.

I get what you mean about this. I sort of do have control, but it takes an enormous effort, so I lie there willing myself to get up and feeling ridiculous. Eventually I manage to move the smaller muscles, then the bigger ones. I can see how one step along the continuum, I might not be able to move with any amount of will. I agree that shame won't help.

Do you have any particular sensation that tells you when you are in a part of yourself that is going to collapse? Since I've started paying attention, it seems like at least one of my EPs that wants to die gives me symptoms in/around my solar plexus. It's wanting to die that makes me freeze, in a complicated way. It's connected anyway.

 

[sun seeker]

How did you work with it?

Oh. Sorry @shimmerz, I read more carefully and saw you already wrote about working with breath with the post about forcing your breath to a count of five. I'll try to remember that next time.

It's such a relief to talk about this stuff with people who understand it. Here's to tomorrow (or today already for some) being a better day for all of us!

 

[Recovery4Me]

Thanks for the link @Hope4Now.

I am amazed how many acronyms are out there for what we share.:clown: I know it is no laughing matter & it is darn scary when it happens while I am driving.;) Otherwise, I just thought it was because I am a space case, rather go to a safe place in my head, saw auras/halos, flipped to the reptilian brain part too much and became emotionally overwhelmed if I transitioned out.

I have met a few monks that took leave in the middle of a sentence, but I thought they were communing with the divine. I have met a few martial arts Masters that could meditate while the lighting struck or people fell on them.:O_o: I had a friend (she passed) that talked about her astral projection, like Hope stated when she was at the therapist. I know unwanted disconnect is frowned on, disruptive and has a zillion factors to explore.

But I made peace with mine. Maybe it never was as sever as some of you have, as I just lost that time and then I was back. I did it at my daughter's funeral, I was told. I asked to be taken back to her grave site, as I did not remember where it was...things of that nature. Yet, I always felt the freeze mode or spacing was because my CPU was not equipped to the speed necessary to handle all the processing. I just shut down. My family freaked, blah,blah...so I am weird. But I am alive and it is getting better because I have accepted myself for this and gently try to tune back in on my body and mind's terms. Sometimes, I am a rolled up ball on a floor, other times I am a tiger. Just one day at a time, you know? One day at a time.

Be gentle on you...nurture the mess, praise the raise off the floor and believe in yourself. That is my tip.:hug:

 

[sun seeker]

There's something else I am curious about. Do you think it could be dangerous to try to unfreeze too soon? If an intolerable stress is triggering the freezing, then the freezing is like a buffer between the stress and other kinds of responses that could be even more distressing. I think that's one of the points the article @Hope4Now posted a link to is making. Unfortunately one of my symptoms these days is not being able to absorb large amounts of text, so I could be wrong. I really want to read it carefully but that part of my brain is not functioning.

Freezing is a kind of self protection. When you come out of it, you still have to decide what to do about the overwhelming emotions or whatever it was that made you freeze. I don't have an answer to this, just want to put it out as a question. I hope this is making some sense.

 

[shimmerz]

because my CPU was not equipped to the speed necessary to handle all the processing. I just shut down.

I like your style! lol lol lol. And yes, I would agree with that.

 

[Hope4Now]

my CPU was not equipped to the speed necessary to handle all the processing.

:roflmao::roflmao: on the Mac computers, when this happens, my family calls it "the spinning ball of death" because it's this cute little colorful beach ball that spins while everything else is frozen...one never knows when it will happen, or if it will just take a moment to process. Once it spins for a while, the only way to escape is to "force quit" then re-open the program. Often, things are lost and one has to just start from what's left. Maybe that's what our TI is...???

 

[Hope4Now]

I really want to read it carefully but that part of my brain is not functioning.

It isn't you. The article is abysmally written. Researchers writing to researchers.

Do you think it could be dangerous to try to unfreeze too soon?

I don't know about dangerous. I know that I am constantly forced/forcing myself to unfreeze. When I do this, I am usually unfreezing into a functional part (and as I've said in other places, my functional parts are quite nice to other people, but pretty mean to me). So, for me, it feels like a lose-lose situtation. The enormous effort it takes to unfreeze and keep pushing on to be functional has really crashed my system. I think maybe why I have become so utterly exhausted. I do much better (I think???!!!) when I can just be and take time to process it all. It looks like laziness or sleeping or spaciness (depending) to other people. It's why I've finally decided to take medical leave from my job. Hoping I can just let the "spinning ball of death" spin until something happens. Hopefully something good.

But I made peace with mine.

That's very cool you've been able to do that. I am hoping I will too. I don't think it is a bad thing. It's actually kind of a cool skill if one can intentionally manage it. I would like to get the shame out of it...to not come back in a part, but as my SELF. I can't work with it...can't supervise people or give lectures or do observations when I'm checking out regularly. Sigh.

 

[shimmerz]

I can't work with it...can't supervise people or give lectures or do observations when I'm checking out regularly. Sigh.

Stupid trauma rules! I hate them. :arghh;:banghead::bawling:

 

[garden]

I learned so much from reading this thread. Thanks all.

 

[Born to Run]

18 months of somatic-based therapy. Sigh. I used to think I was a pretty quick learner

What Saetva describes, is what I can do now after 3 years of somatic & ego state therapy. It takes time to be able to do this, and as you say has nothing to do with your brain capacities.

 

[Born to Run]

Do you think it could be dangerous to try to unfreeze too soon?

Yes, I do think that could be dangerous, and that is why your body will not allow you to unfreeze too soon. Until your system -mentally/physically- is strong enough and ready to cope with the stuff that will be set free by unfreezing, it will not happen.

Freezing is a kind of self protection. When you come out of it, you still have to decide what to do about the overwhelming emotions or whatever it was that made you freeze.

Correct. I am not sure if you have a choice here, as the emotions will definitely demand your attention and will need to be processed. It is indeed the principle that how you went into freeze, is how you will come out of freeze.