To "like" or not to like?

[anonymous]

Do you find the "like" button or feature to sometimes be anxiety provoking? When somebody presses "like", what are they really saying? Many things written on this site really do not seem likable, yet the feature is so often used. Sometimes it is used with clarification, other times not. If somebody "likes" something that is hurtful to you, are your feelings also hurt by their "like"? Should it be taken personally (even if you have never previously interacted with the "liker")? Does your anxiety spike when you see them show up in the "online members" list? It seems like a silly question, but it is something that really bothers me.

 

[anonymous]

Most of the time the “like” function doesn’t bother me.

Sometimes it does if I’m in a bad place and there is someone who tries to put me in my place, and I see all the “likes” that response got. Cuz yeah, there are a few people who refuse to interact with me directly, but will “like” every post that disagrees with me. These people never “like” anything I have to say myself, so it comes across as passive aggressive. Which to me is funny as all get out because these “likers” are direct with everyone else. (Hyper vigilance at play, baby! I notice this stuff!)

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I always thought clicking “like” is a show of support whether it is agreeable or just checking in. I too question why someone “likes” so many posts around mine, but not mine. It only bothers me when I am symptomatic though. Sometimes I don’t click “like” because I don’t agree, I am always willing to click like on someone’s post if I agree with it, even if I don’t like the messenger. I try to click “like” on most every person’s response if they contribute to my thread. If I don’t click “like” on my own thread, it means that I either haven’t read it, forgot to click “like,” or I truly disagree or am annoyed by what you said. Sometimes I might be annoyed because there is some truth to it that I don’t want to accept or support.

 

[Sideways]

Mind reading. Not prepared to go there. It’s never particularly productive for me, but is often very counterproductive.

Keping track of any given person and whether or not they’re actively not liking my posts? Pfft! The reasons are theirs, their life is bigger than me, it almost certainly has nothing to do with them making some great big judgement of my character (even if it did....!?). I honestly don’t keep track of people “not liking” my posts, because that would be nothing more than an exercise in feeding my own cognitive distortions.

Same goes for worrying about whether other members are keeping track of whether I like their posts. If they are? There’s a 99% chance they’re drawing the wrong conclusions, and reading faaaar more into it than they need to.

 

[Gamereign555]

Yep I use it to either show agreement or sometimes to acknowledge the post, to show they are being heard. I don’t always know what to say or how to say it, so a simple “like” will have to do..

 

[Changing4Best]

I see it as a way to say that someone is happy or likes the fact that someone is healing enough to see the truth, to handle writing about something traumatic and hopefully being helped by doing so. I see it, not as liking what happened to the person, but liking the fact that they wrote about it, got it out of their head and onto the screen. When I "like" something I might be praying about it, or just saying, "I support you." "Get that out of your system." "Pour your feelings out." "You are hopefully healing by that means." "I'm glad you are progressing." It is an expression of support for the person being "liked" not the person who did the abuse, not the bad thing that happened. I was confused by it at first also. I understand it now though.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I usually only “like” a post when it resonates with me, or when it’s a subject that I am totally 100% in agreement....I can’t stand it when people just use the like button for every post that they read, just drives me bonkers. Personally I think the like button is overused....

 

[shatter eyes]

I use the like button when i read something i can relate to and i also use it as a way to say thanks.

 

[dulcia]

Do you think part of the issue is that the "like" is visible to others? That sometimes affects it for me, as much as I hate to admit it.

 

[anonymous]

No. Not really. It is more an issue of "Why dont they like me?"

 

[anonymous]

As in "Why did thry like something that was so negative about me?" as opposed to "Why didn't they like what I said?"

 

[mumstheword]

Why don't you ask them? You'll never know otherwise. It's not like this site is full of narcassists, if that were the case you'd never get anywhere, but here, people tend to be upfront and honest, so I think being direct might be the way to go. You might find it's not that they "don't like you," at all, or you might find something out about yourself that is beneficial to know, so you can grow past it.