To sufferers: what made you get help?

[JM318]

I’m just thinking as my relationship just crumbled for the 4th time.

My vet was diagnosed a few years ago with PTSD. His first breakdown he finally wanted to seek help, he went to counciling while we were broken up, but it didn’t last very long. I think he only went to a few sessions during that time.

Now at least a year and a half later he denies having PTSD, he is angry and sluggish all the time, constantly keeps himself busy, has a hard time sleeping, ect.

What was the deciding factor that made you want to seek help?

Is he scared to seek help? Is he avoiding it because it’s easier to just be alone and pretend everything is okay?

I’d just like some insight on the thought process of the struggle between getting help and ignoring/avoiding help.

 

[somerandomguy]

My tipping point after 15 years of trying to repress everything was having a major dissociative episode and, out of desperation, telling my wife about it as it was happening, which I had never done before. Instead of reacting angrily and pulling away like I assumed she would, she reacted with kindness and sensitivity.

I think the way she reacted, plus the mere act of doing something different, changed something in my brain somehow, and I came back to this website and started to write more or less constantly about my issues - and then it was like a snowball rolling downhill.

Maybe also after 15 years the stars were aligned for me to have some kind of breakthrough. I finally found a therapist I really clicked with. I was also feeling completely at the end of my rope, so maybe I was finally in the right mindset for some kind of change.

EDIT: I would not count on this happening with your vet, or with anyone really. Looking for "a bolt from the blue" like what happened to me is probably not going to get anyone very far.

 

[ILoveLife]

Psychosis unfortunately was my tipping point, had no choice but to get help.
But then my trauma was invalidated as delusions, had terrible Ts one after the other and made the decision of taking charge.

Had no support from anyone.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes a silver lining during a perfect storm: abuse, desperation, exhaustion, a bad date, suicidality, fear; plus support. And God. Plus information. For me. It didn't make me, but I couldn't live with the pain I was in as is, and causing or could/ would cause, plus what started it was fear and fear for others. It really started afraid for another's welfare, plus the fall-out on me/ another. Sheer desperation, really, all-around.

About 23 or more years of grief first though, though I tried much under the sun alone/ no support, near zero disclosure.

ETA, come to think of it I thought any kind of disclosure would lead to horror and horrific consequences. Plus I didn't even realize what in entirety I had to disclose. I feel sort of the same, re: privacy, or (not) going to the doctor- figure the Coroner will figure out what's wrong with me. :rolleyes: I did once try to get help for the nightsweats though (but never would have said 'nightmares'.)

I was thinking about this- as per 'resilience', in another thread. A lot is responses received to trauma, that influences disclosure, I think. I think disclosure has to precede admitting and accepting help (even then it's not a guarantee).

 

[Virtues]

I beat the shit out of some innocent dude in traffic in front of my daughter. I have never felt so ashamed or out of control. This was my lowest point. Up until this point (even though the signs were there) I wasn't aware I had a problem; denial is a mother f*cker. I just thought I had a run of some really bad times; I never in a million years dreamed it was PTSD.

 

[ladee]

Couldn't handle the pain and the craziness anymore... Always so angry, confused, unhappy, ect.. And like many have shared, and alone.. no one understood or wanted to... but it didn't keep me from seeking help, and putting everything I had into it...

Hope your guy eventually gets help... sending YOU gentle hugs for hanging in there with him... do lots of self care, it's hard, hurtful and confusing being with one of us... time for you to take care of you.

 

[Chris-duck]

I looked for help (this time anyway) a few months back because I came out of a really hard time last year where I was just awful to be around and felt really out of control. It scares me that I could get like that again cos it's the second time it's happened. I'm not sure there's any way for us to tell how your partner would decide though. There seems to be a theme of hitting a new low in these replies here but what people think of as the breaking point is too different for everyone.

 

[LuckiLee]

A suicide attempt.

 

[JM318]

I don’t even know what to say... I’m sorry to hear everyone’s responses, but I’m glad you all took that leap of faith. The only time he sought treatment was when he was at his lowest point and he gave up the counciling shortly after. He asked me to move out, and I told him if I move out, I can’t come back this time. I have exhausted my efforts and I’m at a standstill. I’m surrendering and hoping something makes him want help.

 

[LilyRose]

At first my supervisor made me go to a doc because of a brain injury sustained on the job, I wouldn't have gone otherwise, i couldn't see i was not doing well. 3,5 yrs and a lot of rehab/therapy later i still wasn't doing much better and still had to see the company doc regularly. At one point he decided to make me get tested for ptsd too because of (according to him) anger issues and that i was spiraling out of control. I was fighting it all the way, no way I had ptsd, i was doing fine... But apparently he was right... That was 6 months ago. I am still having trouble with it. Trying to stop myself from fighting against it but it is hard. Like everything in me is screaming not to do this, maybe i'm just scared to face the pain, i don't know how this all works. I am avoiding a lot according to my company doc.

 

[somerandomguy]

@JM318, I understand your very human wish that something would make him want to get help. And maybe in the future something will. But ... you know, we can only look after ourselves.

 

[Freida]

I went to counseling for tips on coping with fibro. huge surprise to be told I had ptsd. But it explained a lot of my behaviors. Stayed with counseling because I was getting suicidal and felt like I was losing my mind