ms spock
VIP Member
I actually do some work with high functioning Autistic people, and this is a fine position to take when you are not out in the world, but basically I have to teach them the skills to fit in and for their Autistic behaviours to be explained and for neurotypicals to accommodate each other in the workplace. You don't change behaviours that people perceive as a personal attack then you don't get your contract renewed. Simple as that. So there is learning from the people with Autism and the neurotypicals.
In the real world where you deal with dozens of people from all walks of life you have to have a whole range of people from many social classes, cultural backgrounds, genders, sexualities, and if you are saying bigoted things then you can be taken to the Anti Discrimination Board - that's $40,000, if you are smarter and you document more you can go through the Human Rights Commission and that's $125,000 and if you go for a breach of a fiduciary duty, a break of a duty of care, that's $250,000 and upwards and that is losing your house territory.
If someone cut your hand off, someone cut your hand off, and that is a reality that that is an attack. That can also occur when an emoationa attack occurs, and apparently bullying in the work place is is costing Australia 6.1 billion dollars per year. When a person puts up a post like @Sandstone posted. There are a couple of agendas there and one of those is possibly reinforcing a lack of self compassion and attacking the self. But there are other layers there. If an Austic man is stand two inches away from a woman, she is likely to perceive that as an invasion of personal space
We have different approaches to people @anthony, and I appreciate your bluntness, but unless I am mistaken you work mostly from home and don't socialise or work outside of the house all that much. Last time I read you you found being around people very draining and could only manage a couple of days and it got too much. I have been moving between 6 different social groups/work places, with widely varying capacities, to highly insightful, as well as dumb as two planks together. You have to learn to play the social games and smooth over social ruptures, otherwise you are not counted as a team member.
And whilst it is true that you choose your responses in life, if you have that attitude in the workplace you won't last a week. You have to soothe those people who are offended and explain why and what you are doing. Sometimes listening to someone and acknowledging their point of view, and apologising to what they perceive as harm to them, means they will shift in the direction that is most productive. It is a process of community building, which I am particularly skilled at doing.
Part of Sandstone's post was to get a certain type of reaction - and partly that worried me because implicit in that first post was a kind of challenge (not saying that is bad) but also a level of self hatred, which needs a good reading of David Burns to pick apart.
If you are arrogant enough to say to people how you choose how you interpret and respond to everything in life, well you won't have a job for long. You have to be to do social cohesion.
Indeed you have chosen a response which is at odds with other responses and that is appropriate and valid, but to me it doesn't invalidate what @DharmaGirl was saying because it did come across as rude, and in the real world that actually leads to social ruptions and social isolated, as I found with the people that I coach for social skills.
So I have gone from social isolation to basically having a couple of jobs which are high volume workloads with multiple people form multiple organisations, which varying levels of insight.
So it is a different kettle of fish when you are out in the world. There are social codes that you need to engage in. There's tact and diplomacy and there is sometimes apologising when someone interprets you incorrectly, whilst explaining exactly what I was doing and why. If people feel heard and listened to, you can make a great deal of progress.
I am in the 6% there is no doubt about it.
I have yearly plans for management, a three year plan, and a five year and a ten year plan for management.
I've helped people in my past that were in treatment for a decade or more. Within a few years of getting serious about helping themselves, realising that nobody else could actually help them and do the work, they improved their life more in a short period than a longer period of treatment.
People move at their own pace. Some people take their own lives. Others do little. Others do a lot to help themselves.
Each to their own.
It is an interesthting question, but in the real jobs, volunteerring, being part of a social or sporting group, if you are that blunt wyou will be left out. I agree it is an interesting question, and I respectfully disagree.
And it is important for someone like @Sandstone to learn the social skills to ask questions in a way that people truly want to engage rather than the implicit you must be lazy and not trying if you are still here after 5 years.
If you see my post I didn't engage with that aspect with the OP.
I think @DharmaGirl made a valid point, so will just have to agree to disagree.
