Too Emotionally Sensitive

[vtap]

Hi,

I'm finding that all the extended periods of emotionally charged situations in childhood have left me really emotionally sensitive as an adult. Some of the times in childhood I would be left shaking from fear or I would pass out due to being overloaded with different types of negative emotions.

Now I find when I do some simple things I can feel physical sensations like a sense of panic or elevated heartbeat or nervousness. Examples would be when I'm about to make a phone call or during a phone call to a stranger, any public speaking situation or even when I have some arbitrary thoughts. Also if somebody expresses an interest in me then it can be too much for me to handle emotionally - probably due to self hatred for much of my childhood.

This is causing me all sorts of problems in many areas of my life. Can I change how emotionally sensitive I am to certain things? I do meditate and it has a good short term calming effect but when I don't I can't control my reactions. Is it conceivable that if I continue to meditate regularly then in the long term I can make permanent improvements to my emotional health?

Thanks. :)

 

[CrazyHorse]

Hi! Welcome to the forum :-)

Meditation certainly work for me. I could not go without it :). I wish you the best in your path of healing.

 

[vtap]

Meditation certainly work for me. I could not go without it :).

Thanks for the reply. Yeah it seems I can't go without it either. I've started to notice more and more just how sensitive I am to certain things.

 

[stuff]

I struggle with this daily. People give me a hard time for how much I avoid the phone. I tend to avoid partners who would likely be good for me because their interest is overwhelming and I feel frightened by it. It's a really hard go. I'm much better with triggers and the like, but this is the stuff that gives me the hardest go. I wish I had something to suggest. Meditation and physical outlets like exercise sometimes help me a bit, but lately my day to day high strung, elevated heart rate is making that super difficult. To be entirely honest the only thing that has given me any relief lately is smoking marijuana. It helps ease the weird high strung vibration/buzz that I'm constantly fighting with, but I hate how introverted it can make me.

 

[circe47]

I have always been "too sensitive" in every way. Part of my hypersensitivity is due to dysfunctional hard-wiring as a preemie and part is due to abuse and invalidation. What helps me is Xanax.

 

[vtap]

I have always been "too sensitive" in every way. Part of my hypersensitivity is due to dysfunctional hard-wiring as a preemie and part is due to abuse and invalidation. What helps me is Xanax.

Perhaps I'll try this.

 

[Philippa]

Glad I found this thread. It's been coming to my awareness lately that I am overly sensitive in some ways too, but I have had trouble admitting it because of the way I have previously judged over sensitivity in others. I used to be of the stand point that words cannot hurt me unless I allow them to, and then when I was traumatized, the reality seemed to contradict everything I previously believed.

I became easily offended by everything, and for me, words do hurt. I don't know if that is just because of PTSD that this is the case, or if I was wrong all along about words not having any subjective power to hurt us unless we take something the wrong way. I really don't like this side to myself, and often put up a front with others that shows how blunt and unaffected I am to what they say, but often inside that isn't the case at all.

I meditate as well, but beyond that I don't know how to counter act over sensitivity in my life...so I'm grateful someone raised the issue here. I will be keeping an eye on this thread to see what others come up with.

Meditation does help a lot. It's a god send and I wouldn't be without it. I think over sensitivity is due to our wounds. We are wounded people, and these wounds are never far from the surface, so it doesn't take much for something someone else could let slide off a ducks back, to feel like a pin being stuck in an open wound for me. I hate it.

At times I am very resilient, so I need to keep it all realistic. I am not always over sensitive, but my past issues, which I thought i had done a lot of work on, sometimes to crop up and remind me that more needs doing, which sucks.

 

[bell]

Another vote for meditation here!

Also, I always find that when I'm stressed out (about anything) or not thinking clearly, I'm literally always breathing more shallowly. Taking deep breaths (you know if you are doing so if you can put your hands on your lower ribcage and they move in and out) Taking time to regulate my breathing, between breathing deep and taking longer exhales than inhales, helps me to take the time out needed to see how I'm really feeling... and then react accordingly.

I don't know about any of you, but I find myself much less critical of my own reactions (and therefore less likely to believe anyone else if they call me "too sensitive!") if I take time to do these things, even if it's just for a few breaths.

And circe47, interesting that you mention being a preemie. I know it's controversial in some senses, but I was born 3 months early, and think my "hardwiring" got screwed up too along the way.

 

[Philippa]

I'd be interested to know how being born prematurely can have this effect? I mentioned a friend of mine in another thread who is not looking at his issues yet, but I know that he was prem as well, and am curious to know how this may have affected him too.

 

[vtap]

When we are exposed to trauma changes take place in the brain; in particular the amygdala becomes overly sensitive. Our goal would be to reverse this process somehow. I watched one presentation from a Harvard scholar who said that meditation causes thinning in the amydala if I remember correctly or certainly helps to make it less sensitive.

I would imagine the higher the quality, duration or frequency of your meditation sessions would bring about the greatest change in this part of the brain.

I think if we have an effective way to measure our daily emotional sensitivity and then gradually increase quality, length or frequency of meditation sessions then this will at least tell us whether our emotional health is improving. Perhaps we could note down how many times during the day we over react to simple changes in our environment for a start.

 

[circe47]

The study into long term effects of premature birth is a relatively new field. There are numerous scholarly articles regarding the subject. After reading these articles, certain things make sense. For instance, there is a growing body of evidence that preemies are more sensitive to pain than full term babies. This is because many preemies are kept longer at hospitals and undergo many, many intrusive and invasive painful procedures several times a day that your average baby doesn't. As such, preemies pain signals become more sensitized. They have even found that while opioid therapy helps, what helps even more is being "cuddled" and "tucked" during the procedures. Imagine being born and having nothing between you and heel lances, needles inserted in veins, tubes shoved down your throat. It makes sense that you would develop PTSD and sensitivity to pain from a very, very young age.

Being born premature, this all makes a lot of sense to me. Google "pain in premature babies" for more information. Additionally, these babies also struggle with impaired bonding with their primary caregivers. It is no wonder some people are more susceptible to PTSD. This is why I get so frustrated with my own caregivers. Where they tend to blame me i.e. "you didn't....or wouldn't.....do better, learn more, pay more attention or whatever" I get mad because it isn't a matter of I didn't want to or wouldn't.....it was that I couldn't due to circumstances beyond my control. For instance, my mother cut all my hair off when I already had low self esteem. I looked like a ugly little boy, in my opinion. Her explanation was that I refused to sit still- unlike my sister. This is because her dragging a brush through my hair and hitting the tangles was EXCRUCIATING for me, while it was mildly uncomfortable for my sister. This makes a lot of things easier to understand as to how and why I was so "different" and acted out a lot.

 

[Philippa]

Wow, thankyou so much for explaining that to me circe, and I'm so sorry you had that happen to you. A little girls hair is her treasure, and having it so rudely cut like that, and without your permission, must have been very traumatic for you.

That really makes a lot of sense too, about premies. It's helped a lot, thanks.