Too Much Going On!

[AngelKeeperJ]

My brother is here with his oldest daughter, her husband, and 5 kids. They are helping clean up the yard, gutters, and whatever else looks like needs done. They are wonderful. What they are doing for mom and dad (and me) is wonderful. I'm full of emotions...I want to help....physically I can't. I did clean up the dog:poop: before they got here. We live in a 'manufactured' house (mobile home), and it's just the right size for 3 people. I love seeing them, it's just almost too much.

I am keeping myself quiet, and still, in my office. My brother has not told his daughter yet, that he has prostate cancer, and will be having surgery Nov 15th. My mom has some nodules in her thyroid that will be biopsied Nov 8th.

On the up side, my son stopped by for a hug as he heads off to tour with a band. He and his dad are the leaders of the chef team that feeds the band members.

Just a couple hours or less and I can relax/retreat. I really hate this feeling of helplessness I feel! It feels so wrong when I love these kids SO much. I just can't listen to my mother talk any more this week either.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

You have helped a lot!

I am glad that you are making sure that you can relax/retreat. Good for you to have thought of that and are able to meet your needs!

 

[Icon Nikon]

((Angel))

You truly sound alarmingly overstimulated but please don't fault yourself for what you feel. We feel what we feel, regardless of whether we want to or not. And also please don't associate it with the love you feel, you are just doing what you need to do for yourself right now. Maybe when the outside stuff is done you can find a few quiet minutes with them that you can enjoy.

I implore you to remember that what you are doing for your Dad and Mom on a day to day basis takes more physical and mental energy than the busy work they are doing outside. Your brother and his family are indeed trying to help you but when finished you are still left to cope with your mother's health issues and her "crap". Retreating while your Dad and Mom are otherwise occupied is VERY wise of you, for you and for them.

As for your brother this is probably therapeutic or at the very least a distraction from his own worries and his future. You ARE so correct, you do have too much going on all at once. And much on the calendar that is wait and see, and so terribly stressful. I am so glad that you got a hug from your son!!! I will hide quietly with you in your office for emotional support or for an emotional outlet. :)

I know that I said none of what's in my heart very well here, but I hear the pressure you feel and the overly critical judgment of yourself that is not at ALL merited in any way. All I want to say is that I care. I beg of you to be gentle and kind to yourself while allowing yourself the break you so need.

Sorry, my exploits were not what you needed today. I am here if you wish to converse!

Safe and warm hugs from your eastern friend!
Love, Alex

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Sorry, my exploits were not what you needed today.

No apology, you give me something else to think about!

Thank you SO much for your uplifting words, and bringing into my vision, the everyday-ness of what I face!

(((DGN)))Thanks! I'm doing better than I thought I would be!

I've been able to step 'out' into the action a few times, then come back here for a break.

<Nicolette fixed quote>

 

[Nicolette]

Wow you have an awful lot going on AngelkeeperJ. Glad to see you have support and I hope the medical conditions all turn out well and you find some space of your own.

 

[purple butterfly]

(((Take care Angelkeeper.J.)))
You are doing an awesome job tuning into what you need to do to nuture and care for yourself, amidst all the existing commotion.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Thanks everyone! I'm gonna curl up and take a nap...as in 'shut down'.

 

[Icon Nikon]

Good for you! We'll watch over you while you "nap" and be here when you "awake"!

I'll hold the "wind up key" for safe keeping (away from Mom), until you've had ample time to replenish or locate reinforcements. Then I will "gently put it back in place" so you can reengage and do what you've been doing so well for far too long.

Hope you find solace in shutting down!

((((AngelKeeper))))...and zzzZZZZ...and tranquil silence within,
Alex

 

[Srain]

((((((((((((((AngelKeeperJ))))))))))))))))

I hope you take good care and know that we are thinking of you.
I was just thinking of you this morning when I saw your post.

peace and strength,
Rain

 

[ms spock]

. I just can't listen to my mother talk any more this week either.

Wise decision!

 

[KP the nut]

I'm gonna curl up and take a nap...as in 'shut down'.

(((Angelkeeper))), you give so much to others. Now it is our chance to be there for you. It is so unfair when our loved ones are ill, it places such pressure on those around. Your family sounds wonderful, all helping one another. It is no wonder you were overwhelmed BUT you recognised that and recognising is IMHO s big step to managing your feelings.

I'm pleased you are able to 'shut down' by having a nap. There are plenty here you are linking arms to help you up.

(((HUGS)))
KP

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Thank you SO much (((group hug)))!! I made it through what turned into 4 hours, BUT it was worth the anxiety to know that dad is relieved all the stuff he can't do anymore, got done! I didn't cry at all, and that was my goal. We got some good pictures,too!

I'm sure glad I found this Forum when I did....just in time.:)