Took My Clothes Off In Front Of My Therapist.

[Chava]

@FridayJones thanks for adding that (you are full of good information). I have instant temp changes under stress and have had to pull off a sweater or pull my hands into my sleeves. Feeling of over-heating is really common with my anxiety and stress. And it's sudden and sometimes nearly unbearable, like I'm burning up.

I hope you can keep your appointment @super_saiyan . Let us know how it goes.

 

[Justmehere]

I've never been a therapist, but I have worked or volunteered in the mental health field and some of my co-workers and people that I volunteer with are therapists.

I can tell you for a fact that this is more common than most people realize. When it did happen, I saw trauma informed therapists react with deep care and compassion, not judgement or shock. I saw therapists that were not as informed about trauma just kind of shrug it off as another day at work.

A lot of stuff happens in therapy and as inpatients that might seem really rare and shocking to the patient going through it, but are actually kinda common and not a big deal to the therapist.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. At all. You are not crazy or damaged. You had a flashback (and I have started to do the exact same thing in a flashback myself.) You are there to get help and support. Please see the therapist and tell them how you are feeling about what happened.

 

[rightkindofme]

I think the people above me said it as well or better than I could. You see a therapist so that they can see the real you and help you learn how to manage better. Showing them what you need help with *is* appropriate.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Did you see her yet, @super_saiyan?

 

[Weemie]

it happens. it happens. when i was IP i did the same thing. when i get pushed against a wall, there are some parts of me that just go into protector-mode. protector-mode gets out however possible, and when i'm back There, getting out means using my body. only, when people tried to control me, get me back, i got violent. stuck in the damn isolation room, ripping open the mattress.

they've seen it before, they'll see it again. if they're decent, they'll recognize the need to accept your reaching with compassion. because that's what it is, we're reaching out, showing the depths of our pain to another being. and therapists often have to keep a distance from that, in order to react professionally and calmly. that doesn't mean they don't feel an impact, or an urge for peace.

at the end of the day we are all human beings just trying to get along in this f*cked up planet. we have systems and rules and order and school, but they're all fueled by our impulses to put something decent out into the world, to show people kindness and acceptance.

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't know what to say except that I relate to being terrified of what I might do or say (out loud) in a FB. Partially because of a scene but also because of the vulnerability. If you look at it in another way, some part of you was very brave & revealed something important. :tup:

I'm sure it will be ok. Some trauma T surely would get it, maybe even this one.

Courage, peace & strength to you.

 

[Neverthesame]

Just to parrot what others have said repeatedly already, you've nothing to be ashamed of, it happens.

I am going to tell you a story of something that happened last year to me.

I had to get a somewhat invasive medical diagnostic test done. I had been dreading this for about 10 years, what could be so bad? A colonoscopy, that's what. Basically after two days, and a literal gallon of laxatives, I had to walk into a hospital ward to have a 6 foot long colonoscope put up my backside. I am only 5' 11". For me that really wasn't the worst part.

I am a prudish Catholic. The idea of having to bare my arse for a doctor and his nurse, not cool. I found out a disconcerting fact that day, I don't know how to tie a hospital gown behind myself. I figured it out when I went to make the last trip to the loo. Stood up and the gown didn't follow. Naturally the privacy curtain was open. Oh and every nurse was female, young and under 30.

The reaction I got was about what I expected, not one of them evem batted an eye. Why? Because I am not the first anatomical specimen to flash the colonoscopy ward.

After the exam, any lingering concerns I had left after the procedure was done, one of the nurses approached me to ask if I would call her after I take the trip to the loo before they discharge me, because she needs to have a look.... In the bowl. After, she thanked me for not arguing. Just needs to be done.

Professionals. Nurses, doctors and therapists. They went to school for many years spent thousands and thousands of pounds countless hours studying, likely having to end friendships and relationships to make time to be competent in their chosen field. Learned everything they could. Not to judge you, but to help you. That really is what your therapist wants.

 

[super_saiyan]

Thank you for all your kind replies.

I have seen her. She's my DBT therapist. My psychologist brought her into one of our sessions, but I couldn't look at her. She said she was sort of glad she saw because she realised for the first time that I had been self-harming my intimate areas, and I haven't been able to talk about it ever. She says I was clearly dissociated and 'acting something out' and all she was concerned about was protecting my dignity. I asked her how it made her feel, and she it was difficult for her and she hadn't really wanted me to find out because she knew how I would feel. The context was that I had just been for a pelvic examination under general anaesthetic. and upon waking up apparently I was immediately extremely distressed and the general nurses had no idea what to do and I was clinging on to people, crying and screaming. Taking my gown off constantly and saying things like "I know what you've all just done to me". I do not remember any of this.

I am slowly trying to feel comfortable with her again, but I'm finding it hard to shake off the feeling that when she sees me she sees my naked and scarred body and I feel very vulnerable. I do not want to begin to associate her with people who have hurt my body.

 

[Stickler]

It would be distressing to see anyone hurting and confused like that, I imagine?
...I don't know if you would find this demeaning, but if it were me, I think I'd feel protective towards you, after that, if that makes sense?

As in, I would want to restore you to a sense of empowerment and safety, as much as possible, after that.

 

[void]

@super_saiyan you are very brave for seeing your T again

life will reward your courage

 

[Mallaky]

I salute your bravery! I hope you realize how strong and brave that was, and that this strength is you yourself, and you will always have it. When you started this you said

I honestly cannot face her again.

and still you did. You are fighting the good fight and it seems you are slowly winning. I feel this way about even going to my 2nd therapist meeting soon (new therapist, 1s was a crazy clown) and will think of you when I think that I cannot do it.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think we can have experience with others using our vulnerability or defenselessness or 'broken-ness'/ scars against us, but not everyone feels that way, or would do that. Like @Stickler & others have said some people want to help not harm. Sounds like she was honest & you were honest, & you are very brave. :tup: :hug: