Totally Irreverent.

[Lucycat]

Just thinking....

As I have a wonderful, divorced catholic for a husband we have had many a discussion about religion.
I have been through being a very strong believer to now not believing at all.

We have together visited Lourdes, in France many times. We have prayed for miracles that never happened. We both respect other peoples choices.

I have met many priests, I have recently read the autobiography of one who lived in this area.
I understand that it is a calling and the priests get to work wherever they are sent.

When we were on our cruise last week, the ship had a resident priest. I just wondered what he had done to deserve such a posting? What a job. A Mass every morning and then cruising all day. He was certainly enjoying the St Patrick's Day celebrations!!!

 

[Nyx]

What was it that pushed you from one state to the other?
I am not a catholic, but I heard that this religion is mainly based on guilt. Doesn't your husband try to "draw you back to faith"?

I myself have been confused about religion for a long time. The story runs back a long time in my family - my mm's family, actually.. They are a different religion, really conservatory, and they made my mom leave their church and eventually leave home. So she became an orthodox when she got married, because my father was one. But I always felt she never left her original religion. Still, my grandmother would always tell me that my mom and us kids would go to Hell because we were not Protestants like them. How the bleep do you go around telling a kid they'll go to Hell?

Anyway, long story short, I had a long time when I too thought I was a non-believer. I hated everything that had to do with religion. But even then I did believe in God. Just not the God that religions paint. The God that is made of love and spreads love. The God that is within each of us.

So, from a religious point of view, I am not a believer and most religions would call me a sinner. But I don't really care, because my belief is that it doesn't matter WHAT you believe in, as long as you believe in something and live by it. That's the force that drives us forward.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Nyx, I never was catholic. Was born into a Methodist family and was then confirmed into the Church of England as a teenager. I was the only family member that chose to go to church and joined prayer groups etc. My family was never religious but I was. Looking back I would say I was reaching out for someone to 'save me' from my situation but it never happened.

My husband had already left his religion when he chose to get divorced from his first wife. That was before I ever met him. However he still considers himself to be Catholic but would not take communion in case he offended someone.

Since my diagnosis with CPTSD I have done a lot of reading about all sorts of things. I came accross Richard Dawkins and 'The God Delusion' and Christopher Hitchens' 'God is Not Great'. They really opened my eyes and helped me to understand why I had always felt so confused in all this.

I no longer feel that I need a religion to cling to. I am also no longer feeling that I need to try to be the same as everyone else. I am free not to believe. My choice. It is actually a good feeling.

Of course I believe in right and wrong and good and evil, but I don't feel the need to believe in a Higher Being to support that. I am responsible for me and what I do. It is not the fault, will, effect of some Higher Being. It is just the way things are.

Not sure if I am making myself clear here...

 

[Nyx]

You are making yourself clear, thank you for this reply. You deny the notion of deity, not morals - right? :)
I am happy this brings you peace - in my opinion any belief that's according to our inner persons should have exactly that effect.