Touch / Physical Holding

[Anha]

Hi Pencil

I see that you are also from South Africa. I saw a hypnotherapist a few years ago and she insisted, very kindly, that we hug after each session. I only had 3 sessions which was very helpful to me, but too expensive. R950 for a hour and a half 3 years ago. Do you also find help to be extemely expencive over here? I simply cannot afford any external help and am so desperate.

 

[Springer80]

If you read the Webster thesis:

Okay, I'll put the work in....I'm about to get comfy with a cuppa and a highlighter pen. :bookworm::coldfeet:

 

[Pencil]

Also the thought of receiving what I need makes be able to physically anticipate the feeling of being welded together, like wolverine and his metal skeleton! :eek::notworthy:

No, I don't think the Wolverine analogy is apt, I think the bath you mentioned earlier is more. Why unworthy??????

 

[Pencil]

I see that you are also from South Africa.

Are you in SA?

 

[Pencil]

Do you also find help to be extemely expencive over here? I simply cannot afford any external help and am so desperate.

Anha, sorry, stupid question. Just so amazed to find someone from SA on here, and overjoyed! Yes, only very sane and healthy and productive people can afford therapy here!!

 

[Pencil]

.I'm about to get comfy with a cuppa and a highlighter pen. :bookworm::coldfeet:

:) Good, but be aware, be very aware, that parts of it will most likely upset / unhinge / disturb you. :watching:

 

[Pencil]

Or, Springer, it might not, it might give you direction and a sense of hope. I exaggerated with the 'unhinge /disturb' bit.

 

[Springer80]

Or, Springer, it might not, it might give you direction and a sense of hope. I exaggerated with the 'unhinge /disturb' bit.

Probably a mixture of both and the getting upset bit is actually what I need to do :unsure:

 

[Pencil]

Probably a mixture of both and the getting upset bit is actually what I need to do :unsure:

Great. Go and get nicely upset - esp with chapters 2 and 5. I'll be waiting.

 

[Autumncolors]

Thanks Pencil, I'm hoping the case will be settled by the end of the year so I can move on with my life. The process has been painful and difficult. Therapist are in a position of power and should be held accountable for there actions. After my experience, I really believe all clients should have therapist/consultants to discuss their therapy and make sure they are on the right track as far as treatment and best practices. I currently have a therapist/consultant to help me make sure I am safe with my current therapist and I am getting proper treatment for my diagnosis. I also came up with my own treatment model as well to protect myself and to make sure the therapist is actually doing work. No more lazy therapist pretending they know how to treat me. No more therapy conversations I can have with a friend on the phone.

 

[Chosen]

From: The role of touch in therapy: An adjunct to communication. Beverly Willison and Robert Masson. Published in Journal of Counselling and Development/April 1986 / Vol. 64

“, not touching can complicate transference (Mintz, 1969; Older, 1982). Touch avoidance may (a) recreate the experience of physical rejection by caretakers; (b) reinforce the denial of body awareness, (c) increase the likelihood that clients depersonalize the therapeutic relationship as a defense against feeling (Mintz, 1969). “

Wow. That is all so true. In fact, this issue is bothering me so much that it's to the point that if it's not resolved, I will discontinue therapy. It's all in the mind, not in the heart anymore, and that's where I need healing. My mind can take care of itself--it's done that for years...but my heart needs help, and because this is a huge, huge trust issue for me, this has to get resolved or else I'm leaving. I can't stand the stalemate anymore. I just hope it resolves well...super nervous...I meet with him on Friday. Will let you know what happens.

 

[Springer80]

No, I don't think the Wolverine analogy is apt, I think the bath you mentioned earlier is more. Why unworthy??????

Flipping heck Pencil, give a gal a break!!! No only kidding...Why not worthy? Well on the comment I originally put it on...It's funny but I was struggling to identify the emotion I wanted to convey and I picked the icon based on the image rather than the verbal description. I didn't think that 'Not Worthy' was quite right but pictorially it fitted.

THen when you pulled me up on it and asked why 'Not Worthy' I felt that knot in my stomach and the block in my throat that I do when I can't describe what I'm feeling and I felt a bit teary.

Also the thought of receiving what I need makes be able to physically anticipate the feeling of being welded together, like wolverine and his metal skeleton! I'm scared that I would love/physically need that person too much because I don't know what it's like normally and I'd end up squeezing the relationship to death. :eek::notworthy:

I think the thought of being in a place of security makes me feel like I want to turn myself inside out. I'd feel like it was a trick ready to be reversed and that tension makes me feel unworthy, my disbelief makes me feel unworthy. And because I feel I don't know how to return or invest myself appropriately without wanting too much from someone else? I feel like my someone took my transaction machine and messed the conversion rate up. That even though in my heart my intentions are innocent and good that I short I either short change myself or the other person somehow.