Trans, nb, queer and intersex folks - welcome!

[Swift]

Hi @Radical Rad great to have you here. What pronouns do you use?

@Freida - lol that is awesome! It is a lot to get your head around but yeah seriously who cares? Love is love is love.

For me, I pick up on someone's attitude way more than if they're Super Woke™ to the current lingo.

 

[Ronin]

Super Woke™

Borrowing this. :roflmao:

 

[bellbird]

Hey! I have a question that I'm wanting to ask just to inform myself.

What's the difference between gay, lesbian, and queer?

My understanding is that lesbian can be used to describe females, but not males.
And that gay can be used to describe both.
And presumably queer can too.

Is there any difference between the terms, or is it just personal preference when it comes to choosing the terms you describe yourself with?

 

[Ronin]

Yep.

Basically lesbian tends to be for fem/woman identified people, into their/similar genders.
Gay just means not straight, and into people of same or similar genders, only... for anyone.
Queer tends to be an umbrella of Anyone not straight (and not just orientation, but gender identity, sexual identity, some include some kinks into it, as in different understanding of relationships from majority population.)

They have slightly different connotations, both in who you are, and who you are into / with.
But when it comes down to it, who feels most comfortable with which? Is a preference and personal reasons. :)

 

[bellbird]

Thank you for explaining @Ronin :)

 

[littleoc]

I agree — I frequently interchange the words “gay” and “lesbian,” but I also have a tote bag that says “totes queer” so I think they’re all similar in definition

 

[bellbird]

I also have a tote bag that says “totes queer”

Omg I love this ???

Hey! I have a question that I'm wanting to ask just to inform myself.

What's the difference between gay, lesbian, and queer?

My understanding is that lesbian can be used to describe females, but not males.
And that gay can be used to describe both.
And presumably queer can too.

Is there any difference between the terms, or is it just personal preference when it comes to choosing the terms you describe yourself with?

Just realised I should have worded my question better to be inclusive of non-binary and intersex folks.
My apologies :)

 

[Ronin]

I also have a tote bag that says “totes queer”

If it ain’t rainbow, I would want a partial refund, as not *totes* queer. :hilarious:

 

[Swift]

Great question @bellbird :)

To me, "queer" covers both sexuality and gender.
Like, I consider myself "queer" in both.
Sexuality wise, because I'm not exclusively 'lesbian', ergh shudder, and bi or pan doesn't really fit, I go with "Queer." gay and lesbian both have a bit of a "I'm attracted to cis men/cis women only vibe to them."
I'm attracted to women and NB folk.

"Queer" in gender terms can mean pretty much anything other than cisgender. Some of the trans folk I know describe themselves as queer, some don't. Most NB folk I know use the term "genderqueer". I myself use "genderqueer" because I'm not 100% a cis woman. Like, most of my parts are masc or male, and Swift is pretty.... Not attached to gender either.

Queer to me just seems like a broader term. Of course the best way to know what someone uses is to ask - "how do you identify" or "what words do you use to describe your identity" are both polite ways of asking. Most queer peeps will have words they like and hate. My best mate Max would say he's a bi trans man, my ex J would say they're non-binary, I generally shrug and say "I dunno but I'm queer as f*ck."

 

[Freida]

Wait....isn't queer considered a derogatory term? Or is that an American thing?

 

[somerandomguy]

"Queer" was a slur for generations but starting in the '90s, gays and lesbians "took back" the term - with great success.

 

[Ronin]

Or is that an American thing?

Nope, not just an American thing, and glad you asked :)
Basically, it was a self identifier for queer community.
But as tends to be with homo/bi/et all phobic assholes, it got quickly grabbed as an insult.

To which, in response, there are efforts to reclaim it back as a thing of pride.
Basically, another of those: Just words, but if someone wants to use them as weapon, they would.

Some people are rather averse to the word to describe them, so it is usually best to ask if peeps identify with the term or do not mind it, first.