Trauma Reenactment Triangle

[Venusian]

So the static view of oneself as being the victim, the savior or the bad guy, can become the self-justification for aggression, manipulation, bullying, abuse, and it effects the self and others.

The behaviors are symptoms of a self-image problem. So it's making ourselves aware of the self-image, that enables a more lasting change.

I think that is the point of the model. A person caught in that static image of themselves in the passive role, they are more likely to think that the only role they have in life is to do the same thing again and again. They get caught in a rut. They do what is familiar to them, the expected response. Isn't that what abusers count on even if the abuser is ourself?

We see it again and again in this forum. when someone makes a comment about their situation, they are caught in the familiar pattern and don't want to make a change because they think they can't. Everyone else sees it and gives advice on different actions they can take. Sometimes they begin to see the different response but don't do it, sometimes they accept that it is something they can do and choose not to, out of fear for themselves or for someone else. Sometimes they are at a point that they are willing to accept a different view of the situation and make that change in perception to react in a different way. They take that healthier perception of the "positive role" to break out of the triangle and make a healthier choice. It may take them hearing the advice again and again and again before they see it as a valid choice for them. That happens a lot here too. It is the constant support of new perception that helps them make that leap .

The healthier positive perception of your role on the triangle is empowering you to make a change in your life and do things for yourself so that you can

This model isn't for everyone. It is just a model that not everyone can recognize within themselves and their interactions. For me, it did diagram a lot of what I was caught in many times. It is a tool that I found helpful even if others do not. That is OK because like life, there are other options. Tools are a lot like medication, what works for one person can be disastrous for another. You don't need to like this and no one is going to tell you that you have to follow it. It is helpful to me and I wanted to share it in case it was helpful to others.

 

[Eleanor]

@Venusian and @Meadowsweet - Amen to all that.

 

[Meadowsweet]

The point that I agreed with was that getting out of the triangle altogether is more beneficial than changing role within it. I'm unsure if that is what was being suggested.

But to move within the roles, the person is still reacting to the under-lying issue. It's like swapping whisky for wine.

To get out of the triangle altogether, is about recognising that the victim/savior/persecutor is one person, or one symptom that masks the issues underneath it.

 

[Eleanor]

That's what I understood...

 

[Venusian]

I think we are arguing the same point. It is best to get off the triangle all together and by recognizing our perception and making that change is the best way to go about it. The triangle can diagram fighting our self and our belief system or it can diagram our interaction and belief system with others, it is all in how the model is applied. It is a tool and that is all it is, we have to find the inner will or inner perception to make the shift.

 

[Valentino]

Wow... Very fascinating and interesting feedback and insights, thanks for all the different perspectives. I will need to contemplate more on this new information.

I shared that same diagram several weeks ago with a spiritual book club discussion group and was surprised that the majority could only identify with rescuer role, many were blind to victim, and very few could identify with persecutor roles...

Like I said, the diagram isn't perfect.. In that group, a few people also reacted strongly to the '10-20 minute boundary' suggestion. In fact, people who identified as rescuers thought it felt way too rude and selfish, then they went about directly attacking, critiquing and judging the idea and rest of the diagram all based on those few things they didn't like. Going full on persecutor role, but totally oblivious that they were playing the persecutor, even when it was pointed out directly to them while others in the group clearly recognized it in them.

The drama triangle is just a model, it's probably best used symbolically. Try not to get caught up in specific labels, the labels are simply pointers towards the way the mind processes information and deals with stress and experiences.

It can also be broken down to describing more core natural flows:
Persecutor - Victim - Rescuer:
Past - Present - Future
Mental - Physical - Emotional
Wisdom - Love - Compassion
Masculine - Innocence/Child - Feminine
Fire - Earth - Water
Hunter - Tribe/Community - Gatherers

I think that is the point of the model. A person caught in that static image of themselves in the passive role, they are more likely to think that the only role they have in life is to do the same thing again and again. They get caught in a rut.

I like this point, I think the Drama Triangle can only be useful if you can recognize yourself in the Triangle. Otherwise it's not useful. After recognition then a person can work towards identify and discovering all 3 roles and variations of them in their life. And from there, then they can figure out their own unique way out of the triangle, or convert their triangle into a healthy or helpful interaction, away from drama. Trying to break out before recognizing that you're in the triangle would not work.

I would not be surprised if the majority of PTSD survivors would identify with persecutor/victim side of the triangle. Persecution energy matches very common symptoms after trauma: being stuck in survival mode, retreating into defenses, I'm in danger, I need to attack, find safety, find weapons, etc. There's little or no energy to focus on healing my wounds or resting my body to recover, little trust to seek help & support from others, etc. It's more about being stuck running on adrenaline and survival instincts. But the body, nervous system, and emotional body also needs healing, recovery, and integration. That can start with finding a good therapist, but discovering and integrating our inner healer/nurturer (rescuer) can help immensely.

after thought added:
-------------
Oh.. I just recognized how the persecution energy of criticism and judgement can also have rescuing energy.

ie.
If someone is trying to understand or accept/reject an idea, that's also rescuing their beliefs and also potentially trying to rescue others from incorrect beliefs. Or there's also rescuing energy in effect when people share different ideas seeking a group understanding or acceptance. And this online support forum is a form of rescuing energy. Seeking safety, understanding and healing through community.

 

[Valentino]

Being able to recognize and work with our triggers can be very useful before being able to recognize our roles in a drama triangle theory.

David Emerald who has expanded on the Karpman Drama Triangle with what he calls TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) recently wrote a pretty good piece describing triggers.

This is from Nov 1, 2013 TED* Works! newsletter, written by David Emerald & Donna Zajonc, PCC:

When Our Hot Buttons Get Triggered

When something or someone pushes our hot buttons, we can easily get triggered into the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)TM roles of Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor. The work is about how to recognize these triggers, bring ourselves present to the moment and build our capacity to choose the more resourceful TED* roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach.

Our so-called "hot buttons" are emotional markers that usually are created from childhood experiences in which we learned to recognize difficult or even dangerous situations. As human beings, our emotions are an asset. They help us judge a situation as dangerous, and triggers our nervous system to mobilize in response to the threat.

This triggering mechanism has been designed to help protect us. That's the good news. The not-so-good news is that, when we inaccurately judge a situation and reactive emotions well up, we create an ongoing story reinforcing the mistaken perception. In other situations, we may suppress whatever feelings we have and not be aware of the hot-button-triggering cycle that is going on inside of us.

Whether in the work setting or at home, the hot-button-trigger cycle can create real consequences. For example:

* A particular emotion can overwhelm us so that we are unable to access our creativity or skills that would be helpful at that moment.
* Our listening becomes biased. When our hot buttons get triggered, our brain collects information to justify our emotion and position and shuts down different or new perspectives.
* Our defense strategies kick in. Because we have judged the situation as unsafe to our self-esteem or survival, our primary focus is on us and our pain. The result is we have diminished our capacity to feel compassion or understanding for others.
* When we cannot feel compassion for the other, our ability to reach common ground is almost impossible.
* Stress hormones, such as cortisol, pour into our system. The lasting effect of cortisol can take many hours or even days to subside. We may feel upset or uneasy long after the brief hot-button episode.

Once our hot buttons are triggered, our human operating system is designed to affirm our perspective as true and complete.

The challenge is for us is to increase our self-awareness and observe the way we are interpreting the situation. Recognizing the situation more accurately, we can help expand the moment, reduce our reactive emotional response, and choose a more resourceful TED* response.

His copyright notice says it's okay to share this article in it's entirety as long as copyright notice is attached.

The "TED* Works! ™," is an electronic newsletter (e-zine) that focuses on applying TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™ to work and life.

TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) and The Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) ™ are models that are Trademarked by the Bainbridge Leadership Center and The Power of TED*. The DDT is derived, with permission, from the Karpman Drama Triangle, developed by Dr. Stephen Karpman.

This newsletter is written and edited by David Emerald and Donna Zajonc © 2013, with all rights reserved. Please feel free to send this newsletter in its entirety to anyone you think might like it. If you would like to reprint the newsletter for other than your personal use, you are invited to do so, provided you keep the content intact without any editing and attach the copyright notice to our material. This material may not be sold to others.

 

[Venusian]

The challenge is for us is to increase our self-awareness and observe the way we are interpreting the situation. Recognizing the situation more accurately, we can help expand the moment, reduce our reactive emotional response, and choose a more resourceful TED* response.

@Valentino, thanks for this article. The statement I quoted is the whole point of working with this model. So often when we are caught up in any type of conflict we just react with a pre-existing learned response and I for one, want to learn other responses or maybe "reboot" my response system. Instead of feeling paranoid, like everyone is out to get me, reflect a moment and see what is really going on. So many times when I am triggered I don't know that I have been triggered until later when I am out of the reactionary cycle and can recognize it.

I think it is a great model that puts a vocabulary to what goes on in our interactions. I hate that feeling when I know what I am feeling but I can't articulate it. It makes me feel like a child which only reinforces the learned response. This model has given some of those feelings a voice.

 

[Eleanor]

An alternative to being reactive that I am trying to put into practice is this

on empathic listening and non-violent communication.

 

[Abstract]

Very interesting @Eleanor. Thanks for posting. I may post it on the empathy thread. It emphasises to me what often goes wrong when I am in severe pain and getting support and also how I naturally did this very well in the past but have lost a lot of it. For various reasons. It's a little sad in some respects.