Triggered By My Mom

[Jnean]

This weekend my mom was a trigger for me for the first time. I felt like I needed a mom and she hasn't been one to me in a very long time. I have always been more the adult. I needed an embrace that I've never truly had but somehow subconsciously know it exists. I realized that I've been seeking elsewhere for it and can't find it. It's something that I need to grieve as part of my journey. I need to admit that she didn't protect me as a child.

 

[Toronto guy]

This weekend my mom was a trigger for me for the first time. I felt like I needed a mom and she hasn't bee...

That is a hard thing to have happening, what you expressed seems familiar to me. You are deserving and have someone here who is sending warm and supporting thoughts your way today.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Until my mom died when I was nineteen years old she really never hugged me. So I can so relate to what you shared and my heart goes out to you.

My mom did not protect me either like yours and I so understand the need to mourn the losses that accumulate over the years.

I could be wrong but it sounds like you are becoming more aware of what you needed and wanted from your mom and most likely will never get because it is not your moms nature to be there for you like you need and want her to be with you.

I commend you for realizing the need to girieve and mourn the losses past, present, and future.

This is a very big loss for you and I hope that you are able to give yourself some nurturing and self care to help meet your own needs and wants.

 

[Jnean]

thank you all so much, it means a lot to hear your caring words today.

 

[ladee]

I too do not remember getting hugs from anyone growing up. And this is a powerful awakening for you. Sometimes we have to weigh the work of self care and healing, against always wanting something we didn't get. It is very courageous of you to reach out and share this. You have people here who care, who will support your healing. I am glad you are here.

 

[Jnean]

thank you, your words are so nice to hear.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I make sure that my children know I love them unconditionally and hug them. All through their life. But I don't know what it feels like to be on the receiving end. My Mother is incapable of nurturing. I think I've come to terms with that. I have siblings that feel the same way so that makes it easier not to take it personally. I'm sure when she passes away, I won't feel any loss. She knew my grandfather was a pedophile and didn't protect us from him and has no sympathy for the damage it caused my sisters and me. Sorry you're in the same boat.

 

[Jnean]

Thank you all for sharing, I really needed it.