Trust

[Unbelievable]

I have a severe problem with trust. More so lately! People have come and gone from my life breaking my heart. Every single day I learn to doubt a new thing. The internet was supposed to be the only safe thing in my life until a few years ago when I started getting threats online from people saying they were from the air force and were going to put stuff to my computer and call the cops and I really believed it. Then the thing with being spied on to what we do online came up the last months. It got me really paranoid :(

My only friends are online.

I have social phobia and a lot of other social problems... so internet is the only place I turn to but lately I cant be myself because I feel like I'm being spied or stalked or something, its crazy because I haven't done anything wrong but I'm scared that enemies make it look that way. So I had the chance to make some good friends lately but its been shattered by my lack of trust. Specially regarding to this girl I met a couple weeks ago. She is so nice to me so caring none has ever actually been interested in me for who I am like this, but I kinda get paranoid and think shes conspiring against me and get scared to open up...

i feel so depressed because when you cant make connections with people its like you want to die because you cant nto yourself either.....and its just a dead end for me. First real life, now the internet. can't even trust my own feelings, I'm all alone.

Btw i know this is a very awakward problem. I think I'm paranoid! but none can understand me. Maybe I should go to therapy

 

[Ricanoland]

I agree that therapy will allow you to tell YOURSELF with the help of someone else that paranoid thoughts may just be that, thoughts. I have some of the same thoughts, I am very jumpy and I use to think my entire family was planning my life against me, until I realized they don't care enough to put that much thought into me.

Being paranoid as you know is very draining, and if you need extra help, I would follow your instinct. Sometimes the thoughts are only thoughts. It can get better with help, I believe whole heartedly that you will get better or at least some of the way better with a little extra help, and a voice ready to hear your problems. We all need that in our lives, its not crazy to have a therapist. Some people use friends to vent, when people have a hard time making friends we use therapists.

You got this, you posting on this forum shows you have to the fight, and know how to win it.

 

[Unbelievable]

Thank you!! :hug:

 

[OliviaMadison]

I know exactly how you feel.. I used to trust people way to easily, and now I don't even tell anyone anything at all, in fear that they'll tell someone. I don't have a lot of friends, because I'm scared I'll say something stupid, and they'll go behind my back and say something about it..

Just can't win at whatever this little "game" is.

 

[Unbelievable]

Yeah and its frustrating when a few people are probably trustworthy but we let them go ........:nailbiting:

 

[99Phoenix99]

I'm paranoid about online posting too :/ Even here I'm paranoid and careful of what I write. Because I'm afraid that someone will check my history online and go "AH-HAH! I knew you were messed up!"

It makes no sense. No one really cares that much to do that extensive of a search about me. But still .... I can't get it out of my head.

So to some extent I understand what you're saying. It's really hard to know what's plausible and what's in your head.