Trying to make sense of this interaction

EveHarrington

Not Active
She could be a person who has a rudeness to her. Does she often make statements like this to people? Maybe you woke her up. Or maybe that's the way things are.

Late reply, I know! I don’t think I saw your reply when I posted this thread. I am going through my old threads to see what I’ve written as I’m still really struggling with my family.

Yes, my sister does have a rudeness to her. She can be a bit condescending at times. I remember once when my sister made a derogatory comment (and laughed) and my dad was shocked. It was DEFINITELY a “punching down” kind of thing. I don’t remember if my dad said something directly to her, but him criticizing her at all was a big thing as he doesn’t really do this.

My sister and I are very different people. I’d like to have a relationship with her, but I realize that may not be possible. My nephew was born in July and I haven’t met him yet.

My dissociation is better, but still there. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to reach out to her yet. I’d like to share my struggles with her, but I need to be in a place where if I get no response, I will be ok. Now that I think of it, I’m not strong enough to reach out just yet. I think I’m feeling sad because it’s Christmas today.
 

EveHarrington

Not Active
I also don't know if this helps:
I have challenging relationships with my sisters. I have now realised that our parents set us up to "divide and rule" and put one against the other.

I’m re-visiting my old posts.

This is very true. My dad is currently attempting to drive a wedge between me and my sister. There’s been a “discussion” about family artwork and my dad asked me if I wanted it. I said yes. But, he’s refused to see me in over 3 years now, so how am I supposed to get it? I was annoyed BACK IN AUGUST and just snapped at him that I’ll never get the artwork if he dies because his wife is selfish. (Yeah, she’s insanely jealous and a gold digger and I could go on for days here…) Of course he didn’t like this, but hell, it’s so true. Fast forward 3 months and I ask him about the artwork. Mind you, he’s sent me sing-song-y upbeat texts in the meantime. He says “no artwork at this time because you were mean to me and my wife”. Ok dad, that was 3 months ago. 🙄 I had a meltdown as he does this sort of punishment thing where he punishes me if I step out of line. My mom witnessed my meltdown and she says “just tell him you don’t want the artwork anymore because I have some pieces I’ll give you”. And so I did. 😂 Honestly I don’t want the artwork because after all this drama I’d never be able to hang them on the wall and enjoy them because they’d remind me of my dad.

On to the point… So my mom talks to my sister and my sister mentions how my dad wants to give her the artwork. I don’t care if she gets it, that’s fine by me. What pissed me off was that my dad made a point of telling her that I sent him “nasty texts”. This info was not relevant at all. He could have just asked her if she wanted the artwork, end of story. And it makes me mad because I have had texting problems in the past, so the story is 100% believable, but that’s not what happened. I still have all of the text exchanges in my phone. I showed them to my mom and she’s like no, that’s not “nasty” it’s true! (Really, calling his wife selfish after everything she’s done to me and my mom is not “nasty” in the least. IDK if I shared the story on the forum about how she managed to ruin Christmas for both my sister AND my mom last year, with separate actions, so yeah, if you do that, it’s not “nasty” to call you selfish. But I digress.)

So now I’m like FFS! I don’t need my dad trying to destroy the situation between my sister and me. And it makes things worse because I want to reconnect with my sister, and his BS does not help. 😡

(I think I wrote too much but I’ll let it stand.)

Edit. The artwork has no value. It’s family artwork. I know she’d destroy it out of jealousy as she’s already thrown out other sentimental family items that my dad owns.

Edit 2. The meltdown over the artwork manipulation was due to the fact that I’m having a hard time accepting that my dad wants nothing to do with me. Telling him that I didn’t want the artwork was taking his power over me away from him. Im in a much better place now in terms of accepting that he doesn’t want me in his life.
 
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