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Other Trying to understand "lack of empathy"

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It APPEARS that he lacks empathy,

That was my point. Not displaing empathy vs not feeling it (which are two diffefent things), using JL's quote as a junping place, and then we have mallaice. Yet a 3rd layer. Which of the 3 are we talking about here as all 3 are very different. And was adding that these multi-layers is why I gave up trying to understand the psychopath's brain. It gets very indepth with many layers.
 
I've really got a lot out of this thread and some really helpful insight and perspectives into my own particular conundrum; my concerns and worries about my child.

I want to discuss more and in depth but am up to my neck in family related exhaustion, at the moment.

My Aspie dad is up for a visit, from a long way away, he has been having an eye crisis while here, lot's of trips to eye specialists and focus on that.

My kid has gotten even more avoidant and socially flat due to having to deal with my Aspie dad taking up loads of my time and energy on the school holidays . He's not comfortable with my dad, but he's just avoidant, not rude or mean, at all.

I really don't think my kid has no empathy, not at all, I think, after reading everyones input into my posts, that all you guys are on to it. It's a bit of early trauma and neglect, some Aspie genes in the mix and Autism in the family, and, my sensitivity about my child being a person taking after their father, him comparing himself to me, and worrying that he is a similarly wired person to his dad, throw in too much disturbing animae and tv (we don't even have one now, but I let him watch crappy glorifying-violence cartoons as a young child) and an exceedingly high IQ and he overthinks stuff and self diagnoses.

My kid sees me as a "good" "kind" and "strong" person and is actually very considerate of me, so I really have to tell him very clearly that I don't at all see any signs of psychopathy or lack of empathy in him.

He's a boy, a very boy-ey boy, if I can say that, because my 4 other sons are varying degrees of testosterone influenced and he displays the highest aggression from early on, but nothing at all to indicate pathological cruelty, only that he thinks he's a sadist and enjoys other's pain, but I don't even believe that, he's a good kid.

I should never have lumped my kid in with any kind of cruel or pathological disordered people, coz he's isn't, as people have pulled me up and corrected me, on this thread and I'm grateful to you all. I stand corrected. Thanks for your frankness @Ronin, and also very grateful for the developmental psych lesson about blunted empathy at his age @Friday and to all that have contributed to the discussion.

I want to say insightful things and add to the discussion, but, my brain is so damn exhausted. Dad here brings much early trauma trigger exposure and a very still-deeply-wounded teen part to the fore, for me. Overload.

Good discussion though, thanks for starting it, @Sophy.
 
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One of my perps had empathy, R. To be honest, it was really bad because of it, he always knew how to push my buttons in order to get me to that emotional place. He cried with me even. f*cked up stuff.

Violence, sadism and all that crap is all too human.

Lack of empathy doesn't automatically mean perp. That isn't what's about.
Could he have been a psychopath? They can mimic emotion VERY well without feeling it. And they are very good at reading others and giving you exactly what you need.
 
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