I don’t think it was random. The lady in line after me, with my body type, loudly told them she has metal in her legs. They didn’t check her at all. And they focused on my legs, groin and waist area, they didn’t check anywhere above my waist. The lady was doing it in a professional manner, but I haven’t found anyone that was touched between their legs as I was, or maybe my mind is connecting stuff to csa and I don’t know how I was actually touched. (Which leads to the whole people not understanding or believing me emotions) I’m feeling angry at my abuser today. I did emdr stuff on him last week and was starting to feel angry at him, but I thought I had finished processing that scene. And my loops on this are starting to build and I want it all to just go away. I fly twice next week, but at least my husband will be with me. I don’t know if I can tell them about the ptsd. It’s not even about being gentle. Some of CSA is gentle. When the lady said what she was going to do to me as she went... that happened in both of my big traumas. Wow, I guess I am identifying the triggers, now.