Uhm , Is My Therapist Overwhelmed?

[Innordinate]

Next time you see your T ask how her sex life is.
If she tilts her head and frowns...... she's wayyyyyyy out of your league
you're too good for her. :)

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Cruel indeed, and I have been back to one yet.... lack of trust for sure as is the level of experience they have not yet acquired.

 

[Spero3]

The other problem is that many therapists are pretty messed up themselves. That is why they get into counseling/therapy. I had a psychiatrist who actually liked to keep her patients sick. When I went for a second opinion when I wasn't getting better, she refused to send my records over to the other therapist and called me into her office to yell at me! I left her, and later ended up seeing a psychiatrist who used to be in the same office as the crazy psychiatrist. She said to me, "It's NOT you!" Then she explained to me that I was not the only person who had problems with this woman. So, find someone who is right for you. :)

 

[anthony]

The military employed a psychiatrist who was a Vietnam Vet, had PTSD, yet would not accept the diagnosis, so he would not give it to any soldiers who had it. Just a little bit of a dilemma with that one... which is why even I went external, as after 2 minutes with him, I refused to talk with him because he was just so outright angry I was even in his office. When I got to a civilian shrink, they are actually friends with him, and know he has PTSD and explained it to me... he was still in complete denial, even being a psychiatrist.

So yes... there are a crap load of nutjobs within the mental health field who don't want to help, but instead hinder.

In fact, instead of giving it to her, I may ask my next T if they have read it and use that as a barometer to see if they are up to date before I even go!!

Reading a book on complex trauma doesn't make any therapist up-to date on the issues, because every single person is completely different. No one mental health practitioner could possibly ever have all the answers. I have read just about every book worthy of reading on the subject of PTSD and related therapies used, and let me just say... each book is near identical in the methods, they just say it a different way, but the methods don't change regardless the type of trauma. The process differs slightly, but I could tell you that in 5 minutes, there is no substantial foundation of knowledge you need to learn on the subject.

People need to get away from that type of thinking, as its incorrect. What you're looking for is someone who is willing to work with you and learn on your behalf to help you. Its the fundamental understandings of therapy itself, not your specific case, that invokes positive or negative change within the client. It actually doesn't matter which mental health degree you take, the teachings on therapy are the same, because therapy types don't change. This is why nurses, social workers, counsellors, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists can all be therapists, probably a few other qualifications in there as well, as the knowledge for each type of therapy doesn't change. Its the experience and the person, what they can do with that knowledge and the type of person they are.

One or the other can be painful for PTSD help... find the person with the combination of knowledge and legitimately want to help you, not just take your money, and bingo, you're in business.

 

[Zemi]

Zemi--that does scare me. But if I find a new T soon enough it will be OK. If not, I will go to the ER and face that. I don't want to do anything permanent. I feel so hopeless right now and the anger is starting to kick in.But I will go if I have to.

Good :) (the part about getting help if needed I mean).That was my concern with you leaving this T, that's great you are going to look for a new one and are doing what you can to get help!

 

[Kintsugi]

OKRAD, this is so worrisome! I didn't even read all of the comments through because I am so angry for you.

I understand that you live in a rural place, but effective and skilled treatment is SO important. Is there nothing you can do to get closer to a professional, get a professional closer to you, or otherwise negotiate a means of regular treatment with a professional?

I agree that a trauma specialist is preferable. I had one incredible therapist who worked pretty specifically with sexual abuse, and she was always referencing things that she learned in therapy (session of her own, where she was the client). It was INCREDIBLY reassuring to me that she had already undergone so much therapy herself, and I NEVER doubted her emotional safety/well being because of this. She could chime in when I was being snide and mock-flippant about horrific things, and she could also take me by the shoulders (verbally) and set both my feet firmly on the ground with some serious-talk you need to acknowledge these things moments. I love her to this day and often send her mental hugs. The counselors I have met with who were not specialists really don't seem to get it. Now that the RISE (Resistance, Intervention, Safety, and Empowerment) director is gone at our school, I feel like I have nowhere to turn for really solid treatment, so I am seeking a trauma specialist in my area. It is necessary for me.

I wish you the best. I feel like you've had other threads expressing some doubt in this T, but I may be mixing things up. I am worried for you. I am angry at her. Heather seemed to put it best. I am so angry I can't even really express myself. As someone who works in a similar fashion as Ts do, I can tell you that it sounds like she was admitting her own incapacity to help you through blaming your issues instead of her skills. As a writing consultant (I realize this isn't the same thing but there are similarities), if I see that I am not properly helping clients achieve their goals, I check-in with them frequently to ask if I am being effective in helping them, and if they seem to agree things aren't as smooth as possible, I try to find another consultant that will work better. They can go through all eight of us if they need to. I want them to get the RIGHT help for them and what they require of us as professionals. I am disgusted by the twisted ethics your T has displayed.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Anti- you always know exactly the right thing to say and how to say it! I have tears in my eyes over the amount of fierce support I have gotten here.

I sent her a very nice, too nice, letter and told her I am going away. I said it was not her, that I was not grounded. I suggested therapy "as needed" when I "get back"I do not know why I am protecting her. I am afraid of T's now, I think. Afraid of what they can put in the records and the power they have if it is ever needed.

You are right, I had a bad feeling about it before and I ignored it.You are SO lucky to have ever had a T that you could look back on and say, "I had some healing!" I don't think I have had even 3 good days in a row!!

I feel I am beyond help....that is 2 down in a short period. At least that weird feeling like a demon was following me around every time I went to see her is GONE.

I will look around but I know there is not much here. I know a lot of the shrinks. I am seriously considering moving to a bigger town. I can't and won't just give up!!

Thank you, Anti. ((((((Anti)))))

 

[Srain]

Okradlak, it's easy to feel defeated and defective by the few such as Linda Lee ran into, I've had my share. The key is not allowing that person have power over you and standing in your path. It's never difficult to have someone in that type of key position trip us up like that that but try to remember you can get past this. Worst things have happened to you and she is nothing compared to those who have come before her.

Pulling for you,
Rain

Linda Lee - I'm not sure what your therapist expected her end of therapy would be but most lives can be sad, I don't know if I would ever call them "monstrous" maybe the abusers would be more like it. And after 20 that many years I can't imagine what she expected but what she did was severe harm in the wake of her career. I'm very sorry you had to endure that during a time you need support and understanding. Please don't give up, as has been said, the level of education has been raised.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Very true, Srain......Well spoken! She is nothing compared to the past. That is a line about people AND things I will remember. :)