Understanding Someone With Ptsd

[squirrel]

Thank you so much for accepting my apology and posting your message. :) She does have ptsd, and I wonder if it played a part in their reaction.

The weird thing is normally this isn't something I stress about as much. I have close family and friends I've known for years who love me and we always are able to work out any problem. I made the assumption this person would want to work things out in the same way my best friend would, for example. I'm actually not used to being able to NOT work out conflict.

Honestly my anxiety tends to show up in a weird way where I obsessively worry about one thing at a time. Right now this was my worry. My anxiety basically focuses on one thing at a time to worry about. Eventually this'll fade and I'll be back to my general happy go lucky self. My anxiety just finds things to obsessively worry about.

 

[Abstract]

I'm actually not used to being able to NOT work out conflict.

But the question to ask yourself is why when she withdrew you became so unstuck by it. If you have always had people around you that would go out of their way to accommodate you then you might only be finding this out about yourself now.

I was not doubting that she has PTSD or that PTSD can sometimes cause anger in the present about something that is in actual fact related to the past or to a fight reaction. I was saying that I don't see her anger as being irrational and I do think your response of repeatedly contacting her was irrational if you don't mind me saying so. I don't mean that judgementally and rather just as an observation.

People are not obliged to want to work things out with us. She may well not have felt anything strongly about the misunderstanding at the start at all. In fact, are you sure she was upset with you? She may just have been less interested in pursuing the friendship. That is a reality of life that we will all come across.

 

[squirrel]

Honestly I don't even know. I dislike conflict. I like getting along with people. I'm not used to not being able to resolve things. It's silly, but I got really sad this had happened. I have always had people who care for me and are quick to resolve things, so that's why. Even though I have them I just really don't like conflict, if that makes sense.

 

[StarChild]

Hi squirrel, I'm glad you came back to work through this!:)

I edited my first post a little. It doesn't change the overall post to much

Well, in some aspects it does, though... As the edited version downplays your part in that matter. As far as I remember, she told / wrote you to leave her alone, but you didn't. For you wrote:

upset, I did the opposite.

And then you stated that you did try another time:

Really hurt I left them be but the guilt ate away at me and I tried again.

I'd like to suggest to reread what @franciemarnie wrote to you. I found it focussed on the very issue, you seem to have with that whole story.
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-someone-with-ptsd.38897/#post-629534

 

[Ghostybear73]

Hey squirrel, no worries! I can't tell you how many times I posted something and decided I wanted it deleted or removed or even moved somewhere else for that matter. When it comes to rash decisions, I am somewhat a pro. I learn the hard the way, which I suppose creates the best learning opportunities. I hope that while you have a membership, you use it to at least check out some of the other forums, like the anxiety one for example. :p

Hope your Christmas brought you great joy!!!

 

[Abstract]

Sweetlulaby is right and how it now reads totally downplays your reaction actually.

Many of us don't like conflict but withdrawing a little may not even have been conflict and if it was then conflict is something we have to learn to deal with as it is part of life. I am not unsympathetic. I have reacted very badly to conflict for a lot of life.

 

[squirrel]

Thank you Ghostlybear. Means a lot. I just feel stressed over the situation and the reaction to editing here (and again I'm used to other forums and websites were you can change your posts or delete them however you want). I'm glad to know when it comes to rash decisions I'm not alone and I'm not the only person to have felt the way I do. I'll definitely check out the anxiety forum. Happy Christmas to you too!

I edited the post to not downplay my reaction.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I have certainly desperately wanted to before but haven't.

I have done it before out of desperation. When I posted one of the phases of my life, I freaked out that I didn't post it into a private forum and didn't think about the fact that once it's on the web, it's everywhere (I'm a special kind of person :wideeyed:). I just knew the people from my past would find me and it scared the shit out of me. I remember I had a total panic attack and actually thought about how when they found me, I would definitely take my life before being exposed to that pain again. :dead:

Does it seem odd to anyone else that there is a smiley with a black eye? I mean this is a PTSD forum and most of us have been beaten severely in our past. I don't know, it just seemed odd to me :blackeye:

 

[Abstract]

I think there are a few things that might help with editing Squirrel. First posts are the ones that the most important as without them a thread makes no sense at all and people are left looking a little silly with their responses responding to nothing. Edits are also better when they clarify or add to something rather than taking away a fundamental meaning or aspect of the post. I don't think there is anything wrong with deleting if noone has yet responded.

You certainly are not the only one with the intense desire to delete. I imagine a good portion of the forum continually battles with the wish to. When so many people have perpetual very high levels of anxiety and histories of abuse it is inevitable.

Ghostybear. I certainly have been there! Paranoia central. I think paranoia is my middle name most of the time.

As for the black eye - yes! Sometimes I felt like using it as have been emotionally battered but desist. :-/

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I would kindly suggest @squirrel that you don't continue editing the first post. It's been edited 8 times now and changing the content so much will confuse people trying to response or follow the thread.

 

[Ghostybear73]

@Ayesha Can you seriously see how many times a person edits their posts? I don't edit after I see someone has looked or commented on my posts, but I edit a lot at first because I do most everything by way of cell phone and If you have ever done this by cell, you know how difficult it is. I am not usually at a computer, so cell is the way to go.

How embarrassing!!! :x3:

 

[anthony]

Can you seriously see how many times a person edits their posts?

Yes, staff can see everything done.