Understanding The Permanant-"on" State

[Mary]

I am in a good place right now, and am choosing simultaneously to enjoy this good period and acknowledge the possibility of a recurrence, thus setting up some good routines and practices to carry me through better. I'm also trying to do some research and thinking while I am able to think clearly (it is so hard to think when the brain is flooded with stress hormones).

So, here is what was happening to me. I went through a couple terrible losses right in a row and was hit with terrible anxiety. For two year, my stress level would range from very high to extremely high. So, essentially my baseline was constant hypervigilence and triggers would spike me into full fight or flight mode.

Physical symptoms during my baseline periods were a fast heartbeat, anxiety, hypervigilence, exhaustion, jumpiness and tingling/aching in my arms and back.

During the spikes, I would have a super-fast heartbeat, chemical surges in my brain, pain in my arms (nerve), fast breathing and shoulders/neck/back (muscular), trembling, terror and extreme flinching.

With tremendous work with a massage therapist and counselor, I would, through meditation and massage, be able to noticeably relax my muscles and breathing. I also did self-hypnosis which would, indeed, relax everything except that pounding heart. However, despite my muscles relaxing, the pounding heart and searing pain in my arms and extreme flinching would last and last, sometimes for days. Sleep would not even fix it. I would awaken in a panic. My hope was that getting my muscles and respiratory system to relax would trigger my nervous system down. It never got me all the way out.

I finally got out of the hyper-vigilent state. It took a lot of different approaches over time. At the moment, my baseline is normal heartbeat (I can't even feel it anymore), very very dull aching in arms (I think I have nerve damage--does that happen to people? Can it be healed?), and intense personality. I do still occasionally spike from a trigger, but when I come back down (usually within moments, or a few hours, tops, if I'm really rattled) it is to this low-level baseline.

I did not take pharmaceuticals (and am not currently interested in that route).

I want to know...

Why was my baseline so high, before? What was happening to me, biologically, that kept me in an "on" state? If you are currently in a constant-on state, are you able to relax your muscles and breathing, but still have the pounding heart/adrenaline hitting your brain?

For those who have "been there" and are out, are you doing anything to address the nerve issue? How about the cortisol dump? I am concerned about my massive 2 years of cortisol dumped into my brain and am interested in pursuing anything that might counteract whatever damage cortisol does. Herbs? Meditation? Any ideas?

Mary

 

[intothelight]

Hi Mary,

To be "on high" for extended periods of time does take a physical toll. The only thing I found that really released it was regular, strenuous exercise that allowed me to burn off some of the adrenaline. I don't think I am ever really off, and am just accepting that I am always going to be a little "wired".

My best tools are diet, exercise and minimizing stressors, but I don't always follow my own advise. Sometimes it is difficult to tell where PTSD symptoms end and personality begins.

Debbie

 

[Tinyflame]

Mary, I had that happen this morning so I just moved around (did some jobs) and light exercise for about 10 minutes.

But I suspect it's good to check with your Dr (about it).

I find walking helps a lot, mentally or emotionally, as well.
Only thing that 'mentally' relaxes me (physically) is dancing.

Or some environments/ 'words'/ thoughts, help make me feel more calm. What 'thought(s)' is(are) in my head has a huge impact. It's just that I can't seem to go from inside-out, need to hear something (go from outside-in), frequently the more "I" think the worse it gets.

 

[221177]

Hi Mary - Can equally relate. I'd suggest balanced diet (low GI if poss), and Shaolin chi kung. I'm also opting for the non-pharmaceutical route and chi kung is not only relaxing and so simple as a daily practice, but is really powerful - it strongly gives healing wherever it is needed, so claims are any disorder - mental, physical, spiritual can be reversed. If you want any links to testimonials, courses etc etc then say and I'll send you some links :) x

 

[Mary]

Exercise and diet seem to be a big message here. Luckily, I am "off" at the moment, so this a good time to put in place good habits.

221177, I am very interested, thank you. I would love to hear more about your practice. I did some Qigong as part of Tai Chi class for a while and found it to be very healing. However, the class is no longer offered. I would love to learn to do Qigong on my own. Thank you!

Mary

 

[purple butterfly]

Mary
I am very interested in your comment on tingling in your arms and back. I am in a constant state of hypervigilance and have had tingling in my hands and feet for about 6 years I have had all the neorological tests and thankfully they were clear. I know that this symptom increases with my level of anxiety. I have searches the web often to get info without much success.
It is helpful to know I am not alone in this

 

[OKRADLAK]

Always on.........jumping at noises, hypervigilience. Mine have gotten worse but I hope they will improve. New med I hope is working. It is very hard.

 

[Mary]

Mary

I am very interested in your comment on tingling in your arms and back. I am in a constant state of hypervigilance and have had tingling in my hands and feet for about 6 years I have had all the neorological tests and thankfully they were clear. I know that this symptom increases with my level of anxiety. I have searches the web often to get info without much success.
It is helpful to know I am not alone in this

Purple Butterfly, here is a possible lead on the symptom.

I was visiting my chiropractor due to a chronic shoulder issue and he released some muscles in my chest. He then told me (without knowing my panic history) that, over time, shoulder pain could lead to tingling in the arms. I don't know about you, but when I have panic attacks repeatedly, my chest collapses in and my shoulders become more and more rounded. He said that the shortening of the pectoralis minor puts pressure on the nerves that run into our arms.

I was poking around and found something called "Thoracic Outlet Syndrome" that looks like what he described. I am going to ask him next visit if this is the outcome he was talking about (the official diagnosis).

I intend to find a pectoralis minor stretch and incorporate it into my routine and repeating the stretches more frequently during panic attack/hypervigilent periods in order to keep those muscles long and loose.

Mary

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

You have all covered the issue in such medical detail, I am impressed...

My only comment is that that constant "on-state" is the key symptom of PTSD. You have adrenaline and cortisol running at high levels through your system. Whether or not you are afraid at the time or it comes from a trauma from long ago, your body reacts the same way. That long term stress on your system is what can do permanent damage. So it is great, that so many of you have found ways to decrease the the on-state.

In my case any kind of physical exercise helps, shaking my hands, playing tug of war with my dog, doing pushups, jumping, etc... all help reduce the on-state. After that I can physically feel my system relaxing, almost like one system after another.

 

[purple butterfly]

Mary the concept of THoracic outlet Syndrome sounds interesting. i will investigate

 

[Mary]

I have an update on the tingling arms.

I am rarely "on" now, though I do spiral on occasion. In my more-or-less "off" state, I do sometimes feel some burning in my arms. What has helped me counteract the arm tingling is to stretch that minor pectoral muscle (note that this is also an issue for people's "mouse arm" if they are on the computer a lot...this is why my chiro mentioned it in the first place...I am on computers a lot). I do this:

- Go to chiropractor and have him release my shoulder/chest
- Any time there is an opportunity to get a massage (from a full-on massage to a chair massage at a fair), I do it. I explain to them my minor pectorals are regularly tense and that they push on the main nerve that feeds my arms. I ask them to please release it. Most are able to hear what I am asking and are skilled enough to help.
- A stretch in the doorway that my chiro told me about. Ask a professional chiro or massage therapist for details (it's hard for me to explain)

In this way, I do control the tingling/nerve pressing. I have been doing this for a couple years and it really works for me.

Mary

 

[wolfkitty]

I have been "on" since i was born. I was carried in the womb of a mother who had PTSD and was exposed to her high levels of cortisol and other fight or flight chemicals. I have dealt with trembling in my hands and fingers and tingles my whole life. The only thing I have found that helps is weekly massage with a person I feel safe with.