Unexpected Panic Attack At New Job

[bittersweet]

So today I started a new job at an office. It's been a while since I had a desk job and I'm not used to it. I was nervous this morning and puked up some bile (completely "normal" for me) and I figured that would be it for me. After about 4 hours into my 8 hour day I started to get extremely anxious and panicy. I tried to find a calm place in my mind but it was fighting hard. I started to feel nauseous and felt like crying, like I was useless. The fast paced environment is really hard on me right now with the stress of just starting the job. I really hope I can adjust to it soon. I can't do any more physically demanding jobs due to my health and this is pretty much all that's left for me. I feel like crying and I wanna tell my husband about it but he won't understand and he's so proud of me for getting the job I would hate to let him down....ugh someone lock me in a box and let me drift out at sea...:cry:

 

[Venusian]

Hi Bittersweet

I have worked in offices for years but I have just started a new job last week and there have been some challenges there too. I have little objects on my desk that I can pick up when I begin to get anxious. One is a paperweight that is made up of smooth magnetic stones so that I can build different shapes. I also have a little picture of a galaxy that I can look at and pick up (I like astronomy and being out under the stars is really calming for me). Can you listen to music at your desk? I also doodle on scraps of paper. Just little things like that you can use to distract and ground yourself and don't look out of place on a desk can help. A nice necklace or bracelet that you can touch can help too.

The first few days on a new job are always hectic and hard for everyone and no one expects you to remember everything right away. I hope there is something here that I suggested or something someone else suggests that will help. I wish you well in your new job.... it will get better.

Venusian

 

[bittersweet]

Thank you Venusian but unfortunately my desk space is so limited I barely have room for a pen. I hardly have enough time to pee lol My desk is right in front of my supervisor and it's all about work work work there so I can't be caught doing something other than my work. It's a battle I just have to keep fighting i suppose. Your suggestions and thought were uplifting though. Thank you

 

[The Albatross]

Hope it goes better for you Bittersweet as you go along. I am though a bit concerned about puking up bile, that can cause problems medically. Are you grounding and/or doing some self care before work? It is easy for me to get overloaded during the day if I don't do that. Try not to anticipate the pace of the day... stay in the moment as you get ready for work, arrive, and just stay in the moment. I say "just" but it's not really easy sometimes. I did though learn eventually, how to narrow my focus and attend to whatever is directly before me. It helps me get through it.

 

[bittersweet]

It has been an issue with me since I was a child. Long story short, if I have any major life changes I get extremely anxious and I vomit. Usually it's in the morning of the new event so all I have in my stomach is bile and stomach acid. My drs said they could do nothing for me and that it was a neurological problem from a past trauma as a child

 

[The Albatross]

I have bile in the lower quarter of my stomach... and have puked bile. I know it's not fun.

 

[bittersweet]

No it is definitely not! Sorry you have to deal with it too.