Blackjack
Silver Member
I had a rather nasty unexpected trigger this morning.
I was on my way to work when a colleague called me asking if there was any chance we could give them a lift as they had stayed at a friends house last night and when they came out to go to work their car would not start. I spoke to my other colleague who was driving and agreed to pick them up and asked them for the address only to find that it was in the very road of the accident that caused my PTSD. I did not know what to do or say as I was not driving so could not do much about it but I honestly thought I would be ok with it. I am not.
I have felt highly anxious and very distressed all morning. I got to work, made it into the relative privacy of the ladies toilet and just broke down totally, sobbing, shaking and was sick. I eventually managed to get myself composed but have just felt so anxious and distressed ever since. It is not the first time I have been there since the accident but previously I have gone there on my own just to 'be there' and think (I lay flowers there on the anniversary of the accident) and have prepared myself for it but this morning was just a bolt out of the blue and I couldn't handle it. Have taken one of the lorazepam that I actually have for the muscle spasms in my shoulder in hopes that it relieves the anxiety and distress a bit. Did not expect this today :cry::cry::cry:
I was on my way to work when a colleague called me asking if there was any chance we could give them a lift as they had stayed at a friends house last night and when they came out to go to work their car would not start. I spoke to my other colleague who was driving and agreed to pick them up and asked them for the address only to find that it was in the very road of the accident that caused my PTSD. I did not know what to do or say as I was not driving so could not do much about it but I honestly thought I would be ok with it. I am not.
I have felt highly anxious and very distressed all morning. I got to work, made it into the relative privacy of the ladies toilet and just broke down totally, sobbing, shaking and was sick. I eventually managed to get myself composed but have just felt so anxious and distressed ever since. It is not the first time I have been there since the accident but previously I have gone there on my own just to 'be there' and think (I lay flowers there on the anniversary of the accident) and have prepared myself for it but this morning was just a bolt out of the blue and I couldn't handle it. Have taken one of the lorazepam that I actually have for the muscle spasms in my shoulder in hopes that it relieves the anxiety and distress a bit. Did not expect this today :cry::cry::cry:
