Unfocused Mental Pain-do You Have It?

[Kim500]

Thank you so much gizmo, for your support and insight. The support of this forum has been a blessing! I feel like I am welcome here and for that I am grateful! :hug:

 

[Thinkingman85]

I understand where you are coming from. I think my mental pain comes from previous traumas and the lack of ability to properly process them. However, with Prozac, my mood elevates and I am able to see the traumas more clearly and process them. I think denial or ineffective coping/understanding causes mental pain.

 

[Kim500]

Hi Thinkingman85, your post is full of a lot of insight(I've read it a few times already!), so thank you for sharing it!

 

[Fia]

I didn't want children either and never understood why. I had two but the weren't planned. I never abused them except from them having to live with a mother with depressions, but I always had this strange understanding that even though I would not I could understand in an abstract way why you would abuse sexually. And it didn't have to do with sex, it was this strange overpowering love and sense of security. I dont understand this and never will.

When i was at my worst coming out of PTS It was like I was pling through how it could have been in my mind. One was a time of only being able to sleep with a child or the smell of a child in the room. My son 13 years old, my baby, had to put up with me sleeping on a sofa in his room. I lied and said my partner was snoring lol. Going away a was so relieved I was sleeping on a bed in their little daughters room and when she was gone one night I sneakingly slept in her bed for the smell.

I knew this was not OK to be like this but I so much needed to sleep so I allowed myself to go with it for the time and hopefully it would pass. And it did.

 

[Fia]

Not pling. Peeling lol.

 

[Kim500]

I was wondering what pling meant! :joyful: I'm so glad that it passed for you and I really appreciate your sharing that story Fia!!!! It gave me a lot to think about!!!!

 

[Debbet]

I was always worried about losing control or my temper and harming my children(not sexual abuse) but I seem to have gone to the other extreme. I am very protective of my children and I have carefully disciplined them they have never been in any danger from me but it is still something that I worry about. I love my kids, everything about them. I love to snuggle them and the way they smell and the sound of their laughter. My greatest wish for them is that they receive all the love and security that I lacked growing up. I make sure of that. But it is hard to cope with all my stuff and try to give them as normal a life as possible with the exceptional stressors that life throws at us. They make me so proud of the people that they are becoming even as I am crumbling under the weight of providing all that I can for them.

 

[Debbet]

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Thank you so much gizmo, for your support and insight. The support of this forum has been a blessing! I feel like I am welcome here and for that I am grateful! :hug:

Welcome here Kim500, I am glad you feel the support that we offer to you. May you find strength, healing and peace here, bless you

 

[Kim500]

Debbet, I am moved by your story. The love you have for your children is true motherly love. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Hearing these stories from courageous mothers warms my heart...

P.S. I am worried how you said that you are crumbling under the weight of the love and giving you provide for your children. I don't want you to crumble completely so that you won't be able to be there for them or yourself. Do you have a therapist, someone you can talk to face to face? Self care is so important. I'm sure you've heard the old adage that if you are on an airplane and the oxygen masks come down, you are supposed to put on YOURS first, then your child's. You have to take care of yourself so you're ok enough to be there for others. And not only that, you deserve to be there for YOURSELF too because YOU are worthy of love.

 

[Debbet]

Seeing a therapist, she says the same thing. The kids are great about letting me have down time and occasionally taking care of me. I am crumbling under the weight of PTSD and depression but I am still fighting back. Therapist says I have been strong too long and depleted my last reserves, explains why I am exhausted all the time. Need time for my "amazing" (her word) resilience to kick in. Took so long to wear me down that she says it will take time and TLC for myself to recoup what I have used up. Shaky at times, but ok, for now. I thank you for your concern and appreciate the reminder to take care of myself.

 

[goingonhope]

They make me so proud of the people that they are becoming even as I am crumbling under the weight of providing all that I can for them.

Hi Debbet,

Necessities for Mom's:

- Learn and practice a breathing technique, set aside sufficient time for this and repeat either daily or routinely.

- Daily consistent exercise. Walking is an excellent one.

- As important generally healthy meals all-around. Mom doesn't get excluded.

Wishing you the best and hoping you will provide less of something that is already perhaps in abundance, replacing it's energy with some you-time and you'll likely be able to last, love and provide for a lot longer.

Sometimes less is more.

Please take care!

 

[goingonhope]

Have you experienced this kind of unfocused pain?? If you have, please share your thoughts! :)

Yes, Kim I have and whereas previously people could not see this well of pain which I may still experience evenings and have previously done so regularly, I suspect they can see it with just looking at my face - day or evening. Even if I try hard to make this not so.