Unhelpful Thinking Styles

[Meghan87]

This is great, CBT is saving my life! I recently started reading a book called feeling good by Dr. Burns and it is all CBT for anxiety, depression and many other mental illnesses..thanks to this book I started a journal and have tried started doing things I gave up on years and years ago.. The one I find most helpful is similar to this post its called a Daily record of dysfunctional thoughts ..has gotten me out of bed on days that I thought I couldn't find the strength to get up. I HIGHLY recommend that book :)

 

[Changing4Best]

Q - Have I reduced some complex reality to an all or none or black and white alternative?

A - "I can't work at a paying job". There is a lot to this assumption, I am on Disability Insurance, 100% and permanent. However, maybe I could work at some small job that pays a little. I think of babysitting, but I never had any kids, no experience.... I'll have to think of something.

Q - Have I blocked out my any positive aspects of this situation?

A - In the above mentioned situation, I have done volunteer work and I do help folks when I can. None the less I feel a kind of guilt about not working. I guess it is because both my parents worked full time. Me on the other hand, never held a job accept helping out in the family businesses for more than 4 months. Family or employees would step in when I could not get it together to work.

Q - Am I rejecting the positive?

A - I'm living a relatively happy life, I've been told I am "high functioning" and I am pleased with where I live, my friends and my church life.

Q - Am I asking others to be a certain way for my sake? Will I be happy if only this person changed?

A - I tried this with my first husband. Since then, for the most part, I have not done this. My second hubby, to whom I was married 23 years until his death, loved to watch TV all the time. I hated this, but did not try much to change it. I even watched one show with him every night, which was an OK show, but not that great in some ways. (Cop show, lots of violent crime scenes, etc.).

Q - Am I presuming what others think or feel? Am I predicting a negative outcome when I cannot be sure of that?

A - I have trouble when someone does not acknowledge what I say but just stares at me. This is very introverting. It happened with a woman at church today, and it still bothers me (even though I have been trying not to let it).

Q - Am I making this problem bigger than it really is? Or, am I interpreting an undesirable event as something that could happen to me?

A - I often wonder what would happen if the government collapsed or if they could not longer pay my Disability Insurance. My mind makes up all sorts of scenarios that are anything but pleasing to think about. None the less, I do my best to give it to God and remember that He is my real provider, not the government.

Q - Do people want to deliberately frustrate me? Is this about me?

A - I can't think of anything like this.

Q - Am I using my feelings as proof of how things are?

A - I'm getting better at not doing this concerning the folks upstairs. When their grandchild runs all over my head, or their dog, I have to remind myself that it has nothing to do with me. Kids and dogs like to run, and are for the most part uncontrollable, especially young ones.

Q - Are my expectations and demands of myself and others dictating how I think?

A - I had a problem with this for awhile, resenting someone who refused to give me a ride. Then I realized that no one owes me a ride! I am friendly with her now, forgiving her and understanding that she does not want to give me rides. I don't ask her for any rides now and haven't for a year or so.

Q - Am I summing up with the situation with a label or am I describing what happened?

A - In general, I don't sum things up with a label. I explain stuff to my therapist, of course, and that is good I think.

Q - Am I looking at a setback as my/someone else’s fault?

A - I guess it is better to just say or think that I or someone else made a mistake and move on from there.

Q - Am I asking others to be a certain way for my sake? Will I be happy if only this person changed?

A - I cannot think of anything like this in my life. So no.

Q - Am I expecting everyone to think like me?

A - Not that I know of.

Q - Do you think that you deserve to be rewarded for your actions?

A - I helped clean our church today, but did not look for any reward. And I cannot think of any reward I am looking for.

 

[Changing4Best]

I've decided to read this article every day for awhile, because I answered yes to almost every one of these kinds of thinking and could think of examples right away too. I'm going to bookmark this page!

 

[ms spock]

This is a great thread on distorted cognitions. It has been around for awhile. It just never permeated in to my mind.

 

[Changing4Best]

Question: Have I reduced some complex reality to an all or none or black and white alternative?

I have improved in this area, since the last time I answered these questions. I see alternatives now, where there seemed to be none before.

Question: Have I blocked out my any positive aspects of this situation?

I have been getting a lot of letters and emails from "The Committee to Protect Social Security and Medicare." These letters portend disaster for those who collect Social Security Benefits and are getting their medical care and medicines from Medicare. Just because they are predicting disaster, does not mean that it will happen. It is possible that their efforts and letters and calls from those of us on SS and SSDI and Medicare will be enough to stem the evil tidings that have been predicted. I have not been sending money to them, like I used to. I am tired of getting these fearful letters that say if I don't donate to the cause, we will lose....

Question: Am I rejecting the positive?

I got some good news about SSDI being funded now until 2025. I keep discounting that idea, because of all these threats to SS and SSDI and Medicare that I keep hearing about.

Question: Have I considered all the evidence or am I just looking at this event?

I have not been able to hold down a job during the entirety of my life for more than 4 months. My bipolar kicks in and I end up losing the job. Also, I have a physical illness which contributes to this situation too. I have a weakened immune system. None the less, I have been in better health for a couple of years now, not perfect health, but pain free, which is a miracle of God for me.

Question: Am I presuming what others think or feel? Am I predicting a negative outcome when I cannot be sure of that?

I didn't hear from a friend of mine that she received the gift card I sent her, so I was afraid she did not receive it. In actual fact, when I questioned her about it, asking if she had received it, she said, "Yes, I loved it!"

Question: Am I making this problem bigger than it really is? Or, am I interpreting an undesirable event as something that could happen to me?

I do fear losing some money if SS, SSDI and Medicare were to lose money or be discontinued. I have even heard that there are folks in Congress who want to abolish these programs. They are anti-socialism and very conservative. I keep fearing that they will succeed.

Question: Do people want to deliberately frustrate me? Is this about me?

I think that the organizations that put fearful ideas out there are doing this to collect money off of us, and that they really don't have any basis in fact, the things that they say. I have not heard anything to the contrary though, so I don't know....

Question: Am I using my feelings as proof of how things are?

There was a time when I would get anxiety every time I thought about how SS and SSDI or Medicare could be abolished or lessened. That emotion was ruling my life, until God said to me one day while I was praying, "I will provide for you." Then I have not been so afraid.

Question: Are my expectations and demands of myself and others dictating how I think?

I don't think so.

Question: Am I summing up with the situation with a label or am I describing what happened?

I've summed up the situation as BAD sometimes, even though there is no reason to fear in the present.

Question: Am I looking at a setback as my/someone else’s fault?

I have blamed the Committee for my feelings of hopelessness concerning the bad news that they spread.

Question: Am I asking others to be a certain way for my sake? Will I be happy if only this person changed?

I used to be like this, but I am less so now. Also, I have seen that if someone decides to no longer help me, God provides someone else who will! Thank goodness.

Question: Am I expecting everyone to think like me?

Yes, I cannot imagine how ANYONE could be against Social Security and want to abolish it, but apparently there are those in Congress who do feel that way. I am glad, however, that they seem to be the minority.

Question: Do you think that you deserve to be rewarded for your actions?

Sometimes, but I don't think so that often. If I am not rewarded, I still do them anyway.

I think my thoughts have improved since the last time I answered these questions here, so I am glad. Thanks for posting this again, @anthony.

 

[Wastinglight]

Fantastic OP @anthony! The dot points at the end are very useful.

 

[The Albatross]

Q - Have I reduced some complex reality to an all or none or black and white alternative?

Q - Have I blocked out my any positive aspects of this situation?

Q - Am I rejecting the positive?

Q - Have I considered all the evidence or am I just looking at this event?

Q - Am I presuming what others think or feel? Am I predicting a negative outcome when I cannot be sure of that?

Q - Am I making this problem bigger than it really is? Or, am I interpreting an undesirable event as something that could happen to me?

Q - Do people want to deliberately frustrate me? Is this about me?

Q - Am I using my feelings as proof of how things are?

Q - Are my expectations and demands of myself and others dictating how I think?

Q - Am I summing up with the situation with a label or am I describing what happened?

Q - Am I looking at a setback as my/someone else’s fault?

Q - Am I asking others to be a certain way for my sake? Will I be happy if only this person changed?

Q - Am I expecting everyone to think like me?

Q - Do you think that you deserve to be rewarded for your actions?


I keep coming back to Brontie's post (and the other members) after the article to use as an example and have been coming back at various times and using these questions over and over again during self examination of some really tough perceptions about people/situations/beliefs or core beliefs. The trick is to answer candidly and honestly without judging or censoring.

Been a really good tool to break down things for me. I miss Brontie and hope she's doing well.

 

[ms spock]

This is really good. Thanks for this list of questions!