mumstheword
MyPTSD Pro
This is what I struggle with, exacerbated, I think, by my comorbidity, of being on the Autism spectrum. Because of my "weirdness" and growing up, it was such a bumpy ride, so many chaotic changes, homelife dramas and abuses and neglect in my homelife, I didn't really question my social difficulties, because we moved all.the time, I was always the new kid, so I just stuck my nose in a book to cope.
Now it still haunts me, this sense that people don't and won't like me or accept me, that something about me makes them resentful and hostile towards me or just ignore me or shun me. I despise pity and condescention so I am socially avoidant and I am ultra sensitive, thanks to ASD and the hypervigilance of our shared condition.
I'm not sure what part my own cognitive distortions play and what part is simply learned experience, and how do you reprogram beliefs when experience confirms those "negative" beliefs?
I do have SOME positive relationships, highly positive relationships, namely with my partner, my children and my therapist and a couple of (also Aspie) girlfriends, others who I can tell, think they would like to get to know me, but I'm too afraid. I think "they don't know the REAL me, when they find out what I'm REALLY like, they won't like me or else they will want to use me".
Exploitation has been a reoccurring theme in my life as well , and when I'm no longer happy to be exploited and used, I'm quickly discarded. I know this all had plenty to do with my ASD and this isnt an ASD forum, so, forgive me, if I m asking in the wrong place, but the ASD forum I frequent, doesn't have a cognitive distortion forum, so I thought this was better, especially, as I've noticed this kind of CD or experience is very common for fellow 'spergers and auties. They would probably just tell.me not to worry what other people think of me and that isn't going to help me, I tried that, and it has limited value, when one actually wants to find an "in" where I am comfortable and the other people are comfortable.
I'm not rude, insensitive, uncaring, unempathetic, at all, I am very intelligent, a bit odd for sure, pretty much feeling like a fish out of water everywhere when it's neurotypical land and %100 an.introvert, although I used to try to combat that with a performance career. I don't feel that confident that anyone here will be able to help me with this one as, truly, the ASD PLUS cptsd plus high IQ just makes this stuff unbelievably difficult to combat, but I'm just putting it out there, anyway. Thanks, in advance, to anyone that bothers to read this, or reply.
Now it still haunts me, this sense that people don't and won't like me or accept me, that something about me makes them resentful and hostile towards me or just ignore me or shun me. I despise pity and condescention so I am socially avoidant and I am ultra sensitive, thanks to ASD and the hypervigilance of our shared condition.
I'm not sure what part my own cognitive distortions play and what part is simply learned experience, and how do you reprogram beliefs when experience confirms those "negative" beliefs?
I do have SOME positive relationships, highly positive relationships, namely with my partner, my children and my therapist and a couple of (also Aspie) girlfriends, others who I can tell, think they would like to get to know me, but I'm too afraid. I think "they don't know the REAL me, when they find out what I'm REALLY like, they won't like me or else they will want to use me".
Exploitation has been a reoccurring theme in my life as well , and when I'm no longer happy to be exploited and used, I'm quickly discarded. I know this all had plenty to do with my ASD and this isnt an ASD forum, so, forgive me, if I m asking in the wrong place, but the ASD forum I frequent, doesn't have a cognitive distortion forum, so I thought this was better, especially, as I've noticed this kind of CD or experience is very common for fellow 'spergers and auties. They would probably just tell.me not to worry what other people think of me and that isn't going to help me, I tried that, and it has limited value, when one actually wants to find an "in" where I am comfortable and the other people are comfortable.
I'm not rude, insensitive, uncaring, unempathetic, at all, I am very intelligent, a bit odd for sure, pretty much feeling like a fish out of water everywhere when it's neurotypical land and %100 an.introvert, although I used to try to combat that with a performance career. I don't feel that confident that anyone here will be able to help me with this one as, truly, the ASD PLUS cptsd plus high IQ just makes this stuff unbelievably difficult to combat, but I'm just putting it out there, anyway. Thanks, in advance, to anyone that bothers to read this, or reply.