Unsettling thoughts of self harm

[Killashandra]

I'm not sure if this is the right spot to put this but,

I'm a wee bit worried about these new thoughts running around my head, the last 3 days I've had intense feelings of wanting to rip my face off. Scratch it all off so there is no recognition of her. I've made some marks on my face without realizing I have been digging my nails in then when I do I drag my nails hard against the skin. So far there have been no major injuries or broken skin which is interesting considering how sharp my nails are.

Im not sure what has brought these feelings up. What the trigger is. But it unsettles me.
Am I dangerous to myself?

 

[Glo809]

When I am in that frame of mind, I hit my thighs with my fists , and don't stop until the moment passes.

But that's me.... g

 

[Nessa7]

I also scratch. I already took something to help me fall asleep, but I wanted to tell you the things that I've done to curb the urge and reduce the risks a little before I drop. I cut my nails short and file them into an oval shape. Even just filing them into more of an oval shape helps. I also wash my hands a lot so that is a little less likely that it will cause an infection. Rubbing with the hard bony part of my palm near the wrist has worked to get me to the point that I can will myself to stop.

If I could force myself to stay up, I would, but I trust that some members will be here soon with more support.

 

[Friday]

No idea if you're a danger to yourself. However, for dealing with unsettling thoughts & impulse control issues, I often use the "2nd Thought Trick".

It's an ADHD thing which is basically ; You cannot control the first thought, those just crop up out of the blue, but you can control the second thought! No matter what the first thought is? The second thought is one that you deliberately answer.

First Thought : I want to rip my face off.

Second Thought : But I'm not going to. // That would be stupid. // Well, that would hurt and serve no purpose. // Better find something to do. // I think I'll be nice to my face. // Scarring would suck. // I think I'll just apply makeup instead. // Maybe I'll wash my face. // Nope! Not gonna! // also not gonna rip anyone else's face off // Easier ways to meet a doctor // Because masks being optional just isn't okay, not like I can just go out one on because I want to, it must be a necessity? Screw that! I don't need a reason! To the mask shop! // Bad Idea Number 312 // Why stop there? Why not just flay myself alive, roll in salt, squirt with lemon, impale over a fire, and serve myself up as a kebab? Jeez Friday. Cheerful today, aren't we? // etc. ANY of dozens of possible second thoughts... Crafted by you, to serve whatever purpose you like (Full stop, Rebuttal, Distraction, Compassion, Alternate Options, Reminders why we don't do that, Reminders of any nature, Related activities that don't suck, Humor, Sarcasm, etc.)

The second thought is intentional, and serves a purpose, and is entirely at my own discretion.

 

[Ronin]

There's lot more to recognizing a person than just a face.

The whole shape of the head. Angles in which you turn, that are hard to change even in months long practicing. Voice recognition. Bone structure. The ideas of self harm making that change are not likely to make that change.... so you can as well discard them, and focus on why be needing that change with such depth & immediate need feeling? As that's something you can address. ;)

Eventually, probably better thing to do with right now, since digging for the cause might spin you more: In what ways can you soothe yourself, change the face you're so unsettled by, into some that is close to comfortable? How can you make peace with it? (Not having to see yourself works for the time's sake, too. Some times, mirrors and reflective surfaces are best avoided, for one's sanity.)

 

[Killashandra]

Thank you so much I can't express my gratitude enough for your words of advice.

I will out those to action now. Thank you.

Xx killa

 

[Ronin]

Please let us know how things go on with you if you feel like it & Strength in the meantime.