I have no clue how to feel..it honestly hasnt set in yet.
I know exactly how you feel - I felt like that when I was new to the diagnosis. It does take a while to set in - for me it took trying to address it, really digging into it, over and over, and having it stir things up, make me react - seeing the symptoms long enough, and noticing how they corresponded to triggers and such things, made it sink in for me.
I was fairly emotionally numbed at the time of my diagnosis - and still in denial about a lot of my trauma - but I felt a lot of what you're describing. I've cried over it at points - and it also makes my life make so much sense.
I was diagnosed with PTSD initially, but my current pdoc says that I have CPTSD. Pretty much had a lifetime of trauma, it just took some extreme events for the PTSD bomb to get set off.
But the fact my whole childhood, and most of my adulthood, was traumatic - finding that out, accepting that, coming out of denial on it bit by bit, has made my life, and how it's gone, make so much more sense.
What helped me when I was newly diagnosed the most, was this site - also, my current pdoc, she's really really good. Without her I'd probably be in a psych ward or something.