Unsure on diagnosis

[whiteraven]

How much do intrusive symptoms impact your life? (Nightmares n flashbacks etc) or how does feeling unsafe impact your life?

Some days they make it impossible to function. But mostly, I function fine. Sometimes it's really *hard* to function fine, but I do it. People who don't know I have PTSD would never guess.

if I say I don't have it then I'm discharged

I know you didn't ask for an opinion, but I just have to say that this sounds crazy to me.

 

[grit]

I often thought (an as someone who is in school to become a therapist myself), the thin line between theory/diagnosis criteria/medical structure VERSUS human suffering, subjective living, nuance of being a human, having many selves/parts and the dynamic of being, recovering etc.

I also do not have the significant symptoms of PTSD anymore ...but yet now and then I see a symptom and I go oooh there it is...but also I 100% refused to be in therapy where the therapist is working with PTSD as if I am a machine - one dimension. I am currently in psychoanalysis - less medical intervention for me....more like helping hand of being witnessed, recognition and knowledge sharing.

What I am trying to say is I really do hear you and your concerns and it is hard to go against a giant machine telling us what to feel and how often and what it means and not taking all the lived experience and the nuance of life - good days, bad days, symptoms gone already.

I do not have solution except I get what you are saying truly!

 

[Muttly]

It sounds like you have an answer for now and that's good. One thing that stood out for me:

I fit avoidance pretty hard, but not really intrusive symptoms, and I dont feel unsafe n I'm not particularly jumpy, I'm observant but not overly.

Avoidance can definitely allow other symptoms to decrease. So, saying you don't have symptoms when you're avoiding is deceptive.

 

[Chris-duck]

Consindering all the problems with long wait lists and such in the UK, I'm genuinely glad you came to this conclusion, even if right now it doesn't feel like you have PTSD. But that might change again and *then* you don't wanna be on a long waitlist.

Yeah that was my main concern. N specialised services you can't really get back into easily once you're discharged. But hey since last session I'm rocking my best PTSD symptoms so doubt is over for now

Also keep in mind, we're all currently in crisis mode and you particular because of your profession

I always feel weird when people say this. Like I kinda consider it what I signed up for. But other people see it as I signed up for nursing, not nursing during a pandemic. And the job is the same really, but the pressure is insane right now tbh.

So, I'm still kind of irritated by your T questioning it, because he of all people should know that.

I dunno. I think questioning is okay, saying "you don't" is different but I dunno that I'm mad at him for asking.

I do not have solution except I get what you are saying truly

Thanks

Avoidance can definitely allow other symptoms to decrease. So, saying you don't have symptoms when you're avoiding is deceptive

Heh. Yeah. Life is normal now. I've become a raging bitch that jumps at literally her own shadow so hey

Thanks guys for replies. Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you. It's been a weird week.

 

[Pale Mpress Kitty]

Keep in mind, PTSD is a spectrum and episodic.

I can't believe it has taken me 8 years of diagnosis to read and understand this!

My symptoms are definitely episodic and I'm going through a huge bout of intense symptoms at the moment including insomnia (which is new for me). Sometimes I can go through not having any symptoms for days/weeks/months on end, and then all of a sudden I'm "back to square one". During the times when I have no symptoms it's very "I'm cured! I don't need therapy, I'm fine." when really my cPTSD is just taking a breather.

I think definitely keep going and accept the label if therapy is helping (even in small ways). I think people tend to be quite nervous about labels and diagnosis because it feels like something is wrong with you. I try to use my diagnosis as a badge of honor in a way to gain some control back for myself; it becomes less of a burden and more casual ("why yes, I do have [high-functioning cPTSD/new clothes/a new haircut] thanks for noticing!"). I still need therapy and I'm okay with that now that I see my diagnosis more casually.