Sexual Assault Unwanted Self-Sexual Acts: Is It Sexual Assault?

[chihayafuru]

Would you say pushing someone into doing something sexual to themselves that they don't want to do is sexual assault or not?
I'm not asking if it's sexual abuse I'm specifically asking if you would say it's sexual assault and if you can explain why or why not.

 

[whiteraven]

My opinion? No. Because I see sexual assault as requiring contact. It's manipulation, and there may be other things involved depending on the situation, but a person has a choice to act upon what another suggests or "pushes."

 

[Friday]

No. Not unless the person is coerced / under duress.

 

[mamachick]

Again, not if they are not forced in some way, physically or coerced. I think I understand your question feel though, and see why you question it maybe. If you have ptsd already, I see why you might follow commands without wanting to. That said, also being able to speak up. How could the other person know your situation? It still could be very traumatic without legal recourse. Dont know if that helps.

 

[Weemie]

I'm specifically asking if you would say it's sexual assault

In most cases sexual assault does not require physical contact (it is most often defined as a sexual act, not sexual contact), but it does require coercion.

This is a legal term, so you need to define "pushed into." Were you coerced? Verbally or physically? Did this coercion involve threat to your wellbeing in some way?

Or did he ask until you gave in? And if so, were you impaired in some way that would render this consent invalid, or were you being held against your will?

 

[Movingforward10]

You're asking about the same thing in different ways on various threads. Absolutely no judgement about that, I do that, just raising it for awareness. Because how I am relating to you doing that is this sense of self abandonment. That you are looking for others to give you answers to what you have experienced. And it makes me wonder what is stopping you from knowing and believing your sense of what happened, your truth, your emotional and bodily responses?

So, what is you answer to this question?
Because your answer is the only one that matters.

 

[Sideways]

In most cases sexual assault does not require physical contact (it is most often defined as a sexual act, not sexual contact), but it does require coercion

I won’t speak to the thousands of other jurisdictions in the world, but where I am, the pivotal issue is consent (rather than physical contact or coercion).

Which is why I think this Sticky is so helpful:
Was I raped? Read this first

There’s obviously a lot of questions around this incident for you to explore @chihayafuru , but if it helps, the question “why did I consent to something I didn’t want to do?” is an important one that a lot of folks need to explore as part of their recovery.

 

[whiteraven]

why did I consent to something I didn’t want to do?” is an important one that a lot of

I think this question is pivotal here.

 

[Weemie]

I won’t speak to the thousands of other jurisdictions in the world, but where I am

One thing I really appreciate about Australian law is that it's one of the few countries where proxy rape is prominently featured in its legal definition of rape!

In North America this is almost totally absent and it can make it excruciating to try and figure out what happened to you (rape, not just rape by proxy which is what it's called here) and explicitly says you must also consent to this.

Australia is also one of the few places I've seen thst discusses rape within the context of "a person who gives no thought to your consent," it seems very based in enthusiastic consent which I do think has the potential for over-assumption of rape but it's certainly elevated above the North American model which is more focused on what "acts" are considered rape.

Do you happen to know anything about how often rape/sexual abuse is actually prosecuted there? Here it's not very often at all and most victims are retraumatized by reporting.

 

[chihayafuru]

I am using my situation as an example for this discussion but I don't believe what happened was sexual assault. I was just talking to a robot and it said sexual coercion is sexual assault which I didn't agree with cause I though sexual assault had to be someone physically doing something to you. I just thought I'd ask humans what they thought. Also when I said sexual assault I didn't mean rape.

the question “why did I consent to something I didn’t want to do?” is an important one

Cause I'd already said I didn't want to but he kept asking and made me feel bad for doing it slightly the night before but then refusing to do it for him when he wanted me to.

 

[chihayafuru]

Not unless the person is coerced / under duress.

how would you personally define being coerced?
to me it can be threats but it can also be going on at someone after they've said no and making them feel bad for not doing it

 

[Sideways]

how would you personally define being coerced?

Use for force or threats.

making them feel bad for not doing it

Nope. That’s you and your emotional response (which you are responsible for).