Not sure if anyone has noticed, but I have been gone for about 2 months. I think a lot of what has happened to me lately is just coincidence that it happened all the say time, but here is a brief run down.
I got a new medical professionals in October after a fall out with my GP and my abuser getting a hold of my medical files from the clinic. FYI it is really hard to get the law to act on a hippa violation.
So, I got rotated on a bunch of new meds. and back off. Hubby beyond stressed at work, wants to desperately quite. was feeding my panic attacks, I begged him to join the supporters section and it didn't go well, I freaked. Don't worry, I doubt he will come back he didn't want to join in the first place. Beginning of December I stopped being able to keep anything down along with a host of other strange symptoms. 3 days out of the hospital and I would be right back. Finally after 3 trips to the hospital on December 27th they did a brain scan. I have a prolactanoma. Non cancerous tumor am more scared than I should be. Guess it is one of those things that sounds super scary but is easily treatable. I should find out about any additional stuff like adrenal problems from the endocrinologist monday. Test results are slowwwwww.
Anyways my mental and emotional symptoms that is where I am really scared. They have tripled. The panic attacks last forever and I am swinging from anhedonia to full blown panic and nothing in between. For all the times dr.s have said I was depressed, NO no I wasn't. What I am experiencing now it. Never felt like this before. Void, hopeless, bored and craving stimulus but everything seems so one dimensional.
My husband and I were supposed to start couples therapy but they had to reschedule. Hubby did go to a therapy appointment with me and saw how my therapist talked me out of a flashback.
With the repeal of the statue of limitation in California I am pursuing charges against my childhood abuser. Yes,it is out of spite and vengeance. but that need for vengeance is the only thing keeping me going because when I feel that anhedonia stuff, suicide becomes way to easy.
I got a new medical professionals in October after a fall out with my GP and my abuser getting a hold of my medical files from the clinic. FYI it is really hard to get the law to act on a hippa violation.
So, I got rotated on a bunch of new meds. and back off. Hubby beyond stressed at work, wants to desperately quite. was feeding my panic attacks, I begged him to join the supporters section and it didn't go well, I freaked. Don't worry, I doubt he will come back he didn't want to join in the first place. Beginning of December I stopped being able to keep anything down along with a host of other strange symptoms. 3 days out of the hospital and I would be right back. Finally after 3 trips to the hospital on December 27th they did a brain scan. I have a prolactanoma. Non cancerous tumor am more scared than I should be. Guess it is one of those things that sounds super scary but is easily treatable. I should find out about any additional stuff like adrenal problems from the endocrinologist monday. Test results are slowwwwww.
Anyways my mental and emotional symptoms that is where I am really scared. They have tripled. The panic attacks last forever and I am swinging from anhedonia to full blown panic and nothing in between. For all the times dr.s have said I was depressed, NO no I wasn't. What I am experiencing now it. Never felt like this before. Void, hopeless, bored and craving stimulus but everything seems so one dimensional.
My husband and I were supposed to start couples therapy but they had to reschedule. Hubby did go to a therapy appointment with me and saw how my therapist talked me out of a flashback.
With the repeal of the statue of limitation in California I am pursuing charges against my childhood abuser. Yes,it is out of spite and vengeance. but that need for vengeance is the only thing keeping me going because when I feel that anhedonia stuff, suicide becomes way to easy.
