General Vent On A Rather Intense Day !

[Kathy]

Rather than begin a new thread, I believe I will just comment in this one. I am at my absolute wit's end with Evie today. I love her dearly, but I do not love how she is behaving at the moment! I told Jim he could deal with her, as I absolutely can not right now. I feel almost paralyzed with exhaustion over everything. Additionally I am quite upset with myself as I was terse in some of my responses here on the forum yesterday, and also in a couple of private messages. That is truly not my usual way of doing things.

Truly the whole family has been under a tremendous amount of stress lately. Evie being the person with PTSD, obviously feels it more keenly than the rest of us. However right now I would simply like to shake some sense into her for some of the things she is upsetting herself over. The donate banner is simply the tip of the iceberg. This morning she had a fit over the sun shining in her eyes at the table, and another fit when her soap was not in its usual spot in the bathroom. She has not behaved quite this badly for several months. I realize she is very upset and frightened about her impending cancer treatments, however I wish she would simply admit to that and talk about it! She was talking about it quite openly two days ago, I honestly don't understand what has happened in the meantime to change that! Jim was remarking she needs another attitude adjustment. I am not certain that is the right thing, but as I say, I am letting him handle it, I simply can not have another confrontation with her right now.

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. To be quite frank, I feel like ripping my hair out at the moment.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Kathy,

As an angry child and young adult with PTSD... I was the most angriet person in the world. I actually scared the crap out of people just looking at them. If I spoke, I could cut off both of your legs without you even knowing it had happened. My tongue was sharper than any knife known......

What I know now....It is unacceptable behavior. Having PTSD and being angry do go hand in hand. But...........She needs to learn to control her anger. PERIOD.....It is unacceptable also because she knows that she has PTSD... I didn't until I was 41 yrs old.........I have since learned to control my anger, and many other unacceptable behaviors that I have had throughtout life.

Just my opinion.......

Wendy

 

[Kathy]

Well I am much calmer now. Letting Jim handle her was an excellent idea. Her angry outbursts have little effect on him. He merely keeps at her until he gets what he wants, she's met her match in him, that is certain. Must be the military training. In any event she is better again now, after getting another attitude adjustment from him. Hopefully it will last.

I agree with you Wendy, the behaviour is unacceptable, and in no way do we permit it. However at the same time we are quite worried for her, as she is acting quite out of character for what we have become accustomed to over the last few months. She had actually made a lot of progress and was doing very well for several months, up until our son's death. That was when she started to go downhill again, add to that the cancer returning and her hiding it, and presto, she has become very ill once more. In a way the anger is preferable to depression. I do so worry when she becomes depressed.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Kathy,

Evie has had several emotional months and new things to deal with as of late. I do understand, and wish that no child had to suffer the things that she has been through. But it happens. Life is hard. You and Jim too have suffered, and have had losses that no parent should have to endure either.

I was Diagnosed with Cervical cancer at around age 23. I had a five yr old daughter and a new relationship. I was devastated, and angry. I dealt with it the best that I could. So I do understand.

Evie is probably going through some rough times. She has the right to be angry. I wasn't saying that she didn't. She just needs to direct it, and let it out in a healthy manner. Aiming it at the people that love her, and care for her is what is unacceptable......

Wendy

PS.... PTSD sucks big time....But she will learn to overcome this in time, and with determination...And a good swift kick in the arse from Jim!!!!!!

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Wendy. I am sorry to hear of your cancer but I assume you are cured? I wish you all the best.

I do tend to defend Evie a bit too much at times, I still feel a twinge of guilt whenever I post in here about her, even though she has told me she is perfectly fine with whatever Jim and I want to say here. She doesn't read this forum, and she trusts us. I suppose I only wanted to be certain no one would think her a bad girl, because she really is not, at least not most of the time. Actually I am suddenly reminded of the poem by Longfellow:

There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
And when she was good
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

That describes Evie very well, right down to the curl! :biggrin:

 

[Deleted member 541]

Kathy,

I think that most people here including myself think that Evie is a person struggling with PTSD, cancer, the loss of your son, and just the emotional crap of daily life. None of us here are in any position to judge the other person. I think that we all know that we too have been there, done that. At least I have. All of us are struggling with issues. All of us would like this to just go away. All of us know how we all struggle.

Being overprotective is ok as long as you know when to allow her to stand on her own. She has gone through a lot, but from what I have read she has also come far too......

Your doing a great job....Ok if you won't adopt, then friends it will be.....

Wen

 

[pandora]

Well...My Mom used to sing the same little song to me..............Hope things settle. There will be better days to come we all just have try and beleive that. Take Care PS, I actually played Shirley Temple in a school play! LOL

 

[Jim]

Well. Evie is much better these past 2 days. Negative thinking patterns leaving something to be desired. However. Much calmer, which is a relief for all, herself included.

Jim.

 

[Jen]

Thats good Jim it really is a day by day process isnt it?
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Yes definitely Jen. One day at a time, so to speak. Things have begun to settle down quite nicely now, and I am beginning to feel the stress draining out of me as well. I must admit, I should have let my husband take over a long time ago!

 

[Portabella]

I am sorry that you are ALL going through so much right now, emotions have to be running so high. Please give Evie my best and take good care of yourself as you have to remember you are just getting over an aweful illness. (((Hugs to all))))

Theresa

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Theresa, the illness portion of this hectic time is thankfully over with. Though the nasty part of me wishes the teenagers were still ill, as they have resumed getting themselves into mischief! :tongue:

Travis is out of harms way, Evie is calmer and improving, we are well and looking forward to many more good days to come.