Relationship Verbally attacked at the mall, why doesn't he fight back?

[Sighs]

Personally, I am relieved when my vet reacts politely to a situation I know made him angry. I don't understand why you told him his conduct was unbecoming to a veteran.

 

[Never_falter2]

I did because he did not stand up to a "bully", but later picked on the children that whole day long- especially the oldest boy "don't touch that", "sit upright", "don't scuffle your feet", "stay close to us, hey, stay close", "your hands out of your pockets or I'll sew them pockets up".
He told me I did not bring up our children properly and watching them was like herding cats.

I won't let anybody pick on my children. I did not want to hurt his feelings. Maybe I should have thought before talking. I did not know the choice is "pulling the forelock" or breaking the individuals face.

I think I'll have to discuss this with him again and how I did not know.

 

[Sighs]

Fortunately, my daughter is an adult and does not live with us, as are his children. I know sometimes my vet is very short with me because he is annoyed with someone else. We have talked about this a lot and he is making a big effort not to take things out on me. It must be very hard to see him take it out on the children. Hugs if you accept them.

 

[anthony]

I did not know the choice is "pulling the forelock" or breaking the individuals face.

That isn't a given... but certainly the majority response by veterans. Either walk away and keep on going, or get physical. I don't know many a veteran with PTSD who stand around arguing with civilians. They're either polite with normal conversation, walk away so they don't get physical if threatened, or they get physical and retaliate near instantly. Not all, but it is a good majority outcome for one of those three typically. I know one combat veteran with PTSD who would keep calm. He suffered symptoms more common of someone with child abuse, yet had not endured child abuse. It was just his nature and personality. He was one, amongst a small group of us.

 

[maurybrooks]

My first instinct is that you may have worked on the PTSD issues of concern but there are probably some much bigger childhood issues which were driving his response pattern at the mall.