@PreciousChild your explanation makes more sense to me than the article. I don't know much but I do think I heard it's common for eg, a parent with narcicism to adopt their child's accomplishments as 'their' own, and the 'failures' the same.
But in some ways, too, that just says to me it all goes back to 'me', that is anything and virtually everything is seen through the eyes of 'me', even if it has nothing to do with, or the emphasis shouldn't be predominantly on themself but instead on someone else: someone else's pain, or accomplishments, or illness, or likes or dislikes, or dreams,, or needs, or whatever, at least
in that moment. I remember at my mom's funeral, one relative (25 years younger and well, though my mom was not old) saying, "Who's going to bury ME??!!" (
) We were a few hours from starting the funeral. Or similarly, she was going to loan my mom a dress when my dad died (he was younger still, and my mom had little, spending nothing on herself, but she had much. She decided the morning of the funeral she wanted to wear it, leaving my mom with nothing. In her defense (or other's words?) she relented, but does one really need that before a funeral, let alone of the love of their life and partner/ best friend/ father of their kids, and who died without warning?)
I'm not sure beyond childhood if trust is innate- I kind of feel it's the opposite. But then again, most people and us have so much scar tissue I can't even begin to understand why others do or think what they do, or even what they think. I've plenty to contend with coming from my own self.
And I don't like bringing up other's faults, or when they can't say their perception/ their side of their perceived story. But honestly, the whole thing and all the other same kinds of examples and far more, just make me want to run for the hills, honestly. The last thing she said to me a week ago (amidst a bunch of unsolicited insults, prior to posting a memorial video for our sister which included her boyfriend my sister despised was that she had no picture of me and it was like I didn't exist, with several "!" after it. But despite having more money than some small communities she never visited me once in the last 25 years (I've seen her twice in the last 34 years) , or acknowledged I existed. Which may explain it, lol.
Can't say it did much for my trust or self-worth, that's for sure. But just as equally, I have zero interestin dwelling on past, old crap or cycling through listening to everything wrong and disgusting with me.Take a ticket and get in line, is what I think.
