Waiting For The Train To Derail

[arfie]

My graphics studio is in danger of looking like the space I only dreamed of in the 80s and 90s when I actually earned decent money helping small engineering offices make the transition from manual drafting to PC based drafting. The steady stream of youngsters through my home based operation left distinctive decorating and logistical touches.

But this week it still feels more like a hideout for a runaway housewife than a studio. I am letting last week's text tantrum from my 33 year old son get to me. It was his reaction to hearing my apartment called, "A graphics studio." "Lazy, drooling maggot" is among the kinder names out of his text tantrum. I know better than to take it personal. When my son is in one of his episodes, kindness is quite beyond him. Nor am I the only target during his episodes. I honestly hope he never attempts parenthood. So far, so good.

When someone throws salt at you, it only hurts where it hits open wounds. "Lazy, drooling maggot" is the phrase which has been haunting me from his text tantrum. There is nothing new in the general sentiment from him. The names keep changing, but the general sentiment has spewed from him since the onset of his narcolepsy as he approached Jr. High School. It started during the skepticism that my CADD work in my home office during the 80s and 90s was more than video games.

This morning my system is powered up and waiting for the next phase of my poorly defined web design. My guitar has left the case but lies unstrummed on the bed. The shots from my last photo shoot remain unsorted on the camera. Who am I kidding?

 

[ronin47]

Sounds to me like you understand your son's outbursts are not about you. Have you considered changing your phone number so he can't contact you in this way in the future? I know it's obnoxious because you have to make sure all the people you really DO want to talk to know you've changed your number, but it might be the best thing for you. Don't let someone else's immaturity get in the way of your dreams. Clear your proverbial desk of everyone and everything that's keeping you from succeeding.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Definitely agree with Ronin47. He may be your son, but this sort of behaviour is unacceptable, no matter who it comes from. Perhaps you can tell him to write you a letter with a sincere apology when he's come to his senses. Only then is he allowed to contact you again.

Your last few sentences do seem to show that you partly believe in the crap your son tells you. You need to stop that, right now. He is selfish, unkind and seems to have a serious case of an antisocial personality. He will try to put down anyone he can and he probably enjoys it. Not because there is a legitimate reason to do that, but because he likes doing it. This doesn't mean you're a failure or unimportant, it means that even if you were king of the world he would find something to make you feel bad about yourself. Don't believe anything he says and stick with the people who are good to you. You deserve that.