Walking A Fine Line

[Jline]

I went to my first session and it went well....

My nephew who I was very close too took his own life on Friday Oct 1st 2010. We are devastated, he was 20 years old and an amazing person....it just doesn't seem real. We are forever changed. I love you Dean... RIP

Peace

 

[James B.]

Jline, please accept my sincere condolences. I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Sincerely, James B.

 

[anni]

I'm so sorry for the loss to all of you. James said it well, and please accept my condolances as well. It is difficult to know what to say, except peace.

Please take care,

Anni

 

[curiouser]

Jline, I'm so sorry for you and your families loss. Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of your nephew, Curiouser

 

[AdamAnt]

So sorry to hear this Jline. My condolences also....

 

[James B.]

Flowers for you Jline...
View attachment 3678

 

[Jline]

Thank you everyone for you kind words and support it means the world to me. xo

 

[Jline]

I just returned to my mothers house after 2 weeks at my sisters place. We didn't have a funeral for Dean but had a gathering of family and friends to celebrate his life. Over 200 people came from all over, he was so greatly loved and will be so missed by everyone. We had a powerpoint presentation... pictures of him from a baby to the day before he took his own life, it was awesome. Everyone told stories of good times with him and we laughed a lot through our tears. We had some paranormal activity happen that made my sister believe he is ok and in a better place and I feel my sister will be ok.... she is taking it minute by minute right now.

I fell off the wagon a little and did have a few drinks to toast my nephews life and his love for life and beer, lol I am back to not drinking and am going to therapy this week. I am trying not to let this event effect me in a negative way.... I know my nephew would want me to keep moving forward but there is a dark side of me that thinks he is the lucky one, he isn't suffering anymore, he has peace.

I came home to my mothers because the suicidal thoughts were creeping in again and I got scared..... My nephew was apparently thinking of suicide at the same time as me....scary. I'm not sure if the thoughts I was having were somehow linked to him as I do not feel suicidal now. Looking forward to my therapy.....I only had one session then this happened.....

I hope everyone is doing good Peace

 

[James B.]

Thanks for posting Jline. Glad to hear you're doing alright, all things considered.

 

[Iam]

Hi Jline, I am so glad that you are doing ok. It's good that all of you were able to celebrate Dean's life. I am sure that is how he would want you to remember him.

Weird that both of you would have suicidal thoughts at the same time. It could be coincidence. I have a couple of people that I am that connected with. It's always a mind blower to us.

Anyway...thinking of you. Thanks for keeping us posted.

 

[Jline]

I went to the doctor today (GP) I broke down a little and told him some of the stuff that has happened to me in the past and just recently. He put me on 10 mg of Cipralex....I am going to try meds again as I can't seem to move forward without a little help. Seems I am ok for a bit but this death has put me into a weird headspace. I am very nervous to take them. I still do my patching but it is really only helping to control my anxiety.... it is still there under the surface and the fact that I have kinda pushed the memories down.... survival instinct..... The patching relieved me of the flashbacks and anxiety so now I am feeling like I can face the past, present and future through therapy and combining the tools I know work for me. I hope the meds work well with this combination.

I will not drink!!!! Just reminding myself lol

Thank you for the kind words j

 

[James B.]

I still do my patching too, Jline.

And am learning some new stuff also. I like patching, and the idea of it helping to possibly heal parts of my brain. Left hand skills this winter will be another step toward that. Negative (inappropriate) emotions and anxiety residue is another area for me. The below video explains EFT. I have been tapping about 3 weeks. Based on my limited experience alone, it seems powerful and real. Thought I'd post this clear concise video here for you and others. Will perhaps post a couple more, and my impressions of EFT, what I've experienced etc, later. Take care Jline, thanks again for staying in touch.