Relationship Walls

[Sighs]

My vet is having a rough trot lately - forces returning to Iraq and terror plots on our shores are not helping his state of mind. I've been concentrating really hard on not adding to his stress cup. I've also been working hard on not taking his vents personally. I remind myself of @FridayJones' explanation - he doesn't hate ME - he's just vomiting up some hate right now. That seems to be working.

Just one small problem. I am starting to feel the same way about his positive comments. He says he loves me and I think - yeah right - you're just feeling good right now.

Any ideas as to how I protect myself from the negative emotions and still allow the positive ones through?

 

[arfie]

You just demonstrated a HUGE stride toward using my own most effective approach: Simple Awareness. When I stay aware that I am having these kinds of reactions and stay honest about the emotions attached to them, solutions seem to present themselves as I go.

I, personally, am on both sides of the PTSD coin. Sufferer and Supporter. One of the solutions I have used is to set up a benign signal during a calm, fully rational moment which is used to say, "Enough. I am at my saturation point." Based on the agreement set up during that calm, fully rational moment, we then back off and take some space from the subject and/or each other. The benign signal that I use most often is, "How 'bout them Cowboys." Anything will work, though, as long as the agreement is set beforehand.

Whether that works for your unique dynamics, or not, gentle support while you work it through.