Well done Angel. It's hard to get through something like that because of the anxiety before let alone how your are triggered during a procedure. And it's not at all logical or controllable; I'm a doctor myself so you'd think I'd be pretty cool about stuff but it is incredibly triggering for me, the whole idea of being ill/vulnerable/trusting. One of my abusers was our family doctor...
I'm glad it was ok. I won't pretend all doctors understand or are sympathetic, some of them are just as shut down or ignorant as anyone, but there are a lot of very kind people in the profession, that, even if they don't understand something, can recognise a frightened and upset person and try hard to make them feel better. For myself I can say that whoever is in front of me, whatever their problem, for that moment they become the focus of everything, it is all about them, and even someone very upset and distressed, you can clearly see and sense their strength and value, see who they are, they are a lot more than their distress. They are just showing and feeling emotions, and that is human.
People so often feel judged and "less than" when they are upset, because that's how they've learnt to judge their own emotions, how they judge themsleves, and trying to show your "shame" to someone in authority makes it even worse. I know, I've been there. From the other side of the the fence , it can be very hard to persuade someone in that situation that you do care, do understand, aren't judging them. Sadly I think that gets in the way, sometimes, of people getting help because they just can't see the possibility that you do care, do want to do your best to help... that they aren't shamed and that you aren't judging them.
