News Was I Being A Douche?

[Stickler]

...Probably.
I certainly hacked the deaf girl right off.

She was saying that she resents being thought of as a medical problem.

I thought about that...and I said if you can get medical intervention for deafness and choose not to, it is somewhat ( but not exceedingly ) analogous to moving to another country and refusing to ever learn the language. It's going to slot you off into a subculture.
Probably not the best thought out thought, either...what I should have pointed out is that it is going to isolate you.
There is a deaf subculture. If deaf people want a subculture, want to not get their brains operated on(!) For whatever reason, that's a legitimate choice, and I said as much.

I was trying to convey the thought that... it's a choice that's going to separate you.

I also wondered if a Bluetooth device/app could be made to translate sign language into speech.
I was thinking...rather like Dragon for speech...only involving a pair of wired gloves.

( I think the answer is yes...for $100 you can buy wifi-operable vibrating panties. Your partner texts your phone and your panties start vibrating. If they can do THAT...)

Naturally she and her friends thought the whole set of thoughts was rude and that because the analogy wasn't ***precise*** it had no validity, full stop, and the whole thing was bizarre...

I wasn't trying to be rude.

Even if she has the option to get her deafness fixed, she certainly does not HAVE to do anything of the sort. It just means communication with the vast majority of people will always be a chore.
She deserves respect as a human regardless...whether people give it to her or not may vary. The world is not the forgiving place we are trying to make it become.

...I know from my own experience that I can either adapt to the rest of humanity...or not.

It's very difficult for me to handle normal humans.
I have to anyway.
If there was a brain surgery that would render me totally ok, normal, able to deal with the rest of humanity like a normal, undamaged person?
I'd jump at that.
Even if there was a substantial risk of death.
Get rid of my mental illness with one surgery? Oh yes. I hate being mentally ill.

if I were deaf? Surgery, no doubt. I have enough skeletons latched onto my ankles, teeth grinning at me maniacally. I have lungs that may or may not work and a brain that requires a pill menu to sort-of work.
Adapt. I do my damnedest to f*cking adapt...given that I'm programmed to self-sabotage and keep f*cking myself over...it's hard. I've been fighting this for a long time.

I don't understand doing otherwise, really.

 

[hodge]

Stickler, are you referring to someone on this forum? If so, I am completely out of the loop.

Gads, yes, I hate being mentally ill, too. And if there was some surgery that could cure it, I would jump at it, too.

 

[twinkle30]

Did she say she could get medical intervention? Most deaf people can't get medical intervention. They would have done so already in childhood. So maybe she thought you were being insensitive. Kinda like when people say to us, well you need therapy. I mean I have been in therapy for years and am still madder than a mad hatter.

 

[hodge]

Lol, Twinkle, you and me both.

 

[watundah]

Sorry...complete speed bump at vibrating panties.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You are my friend so I can say, yes you were sorta being a douche, and you still like me anyway! ;)

Not all deafness can be fixed and its VERY expensive for the ones that can.

I have a hearing disabilty (not deaf, just some hearing is gone) from being hit in the head too much & too hard. I can say without a doubt that even hearing aids, which id hate to wear at 35 (in a week), is expensive enough for me to just live with it.

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

I think what's being misunderstood might be...mmm, well, I could have my thoughts wrong so bear with me :confused: But it could be possible that she sees her deafness as an impairment, but not necessarily one that causes pain or distress. Similarly to how many people with autism get really annoyed at people who think that being autistic is like, the most tragic thing of human existance, woe is you, you have a mental impairment and all parents of autistic children must be suffering so much /sarcasm. Perhaps the deaf girl didn't see her deafness as a complete situation of despair, but simply a part of her that's different, and that she can function completely fine, as long as she is given proper accomodations.

While the fact that she would be severely disadvantaged without the ability to hear, which is true enough, I think it could be more of a statement of "People IRL should be more informed of people with disabilities and be accomdating! Teach sign language in schools!" kind of deal, which, to be fair, is actually something highly debated recently.

I don't think you were trying to be rude at all! :P It is true that choosing to remain impaired could cause communication issues, but some individuals truly cannot afford to have an operation to fix their hearing, or perhaps don't see their deafness as something that's entirely detrimental, unlike disorders like depression, anxiety and PTSD, which I'm sure everyone will agree, nobody wants to suffer from.

That's my two cents on what seems to have happened, at least from what I see it.

 

[Friday]

Yeah, hon. That was douchey.

Deafness & Mental Illness aren't synonymous at all. Deaf vs Hearing is honestly a lot more like Male vs Female. Most deaf people are going to be as offended at the idea that they should get their deafness "fixed" in the same way that most women would be offended at the idea of getting their sex "fixed" by F to M surgery.

In fact... If you renamed everything in what you wrote from a sex/gender standpoint? It both all holds true, & I think understanding might click into place.

Because, yeah. As long as women insist on being women, instead of men? Instead of adapting to a man's world? Not choosing to get a medical intervention that would ... See where this is going?

Most deaf people feel that being deaf is as "wrong" and as in need of "fixing" as most women feel being female is "wrong" and in need of "fixing", or is the same thing as a mental illness. Does that shed some light?

 

[Ellabella44]

sorry you lost me at wondering if you recently consumed vast quantities of vinegar and water....

not calling you one btw, just thought you could use a good laugh.

 

[EveHarrington]

Are we even permitted to call another's behavior out as douchey? (So hate that word.)

 

[Stickler]

Ok, it was douchey and i am an ableist POS

Her initial statement was that she was not a medical problem...thus I made the assumption she was choosing not to have an elective surgery, like a cochlear implant.

I never said she should do anything. I pointed out that she was choosing to isolate in a subculture. I specifically said it's a valid choice.
...She does not have to adapt to the hearing world.
I son't have to adapt to anyone.
I stay on medication in part for other people, not just me.

ANYWAY....
The deaf people want everyone to learn sign language.
You can insist that everyone learn sign language if you're deaf.
That's a valid stance. In an ideal world, we'd all get taught sign language in school.

They also resent the idea of a device to translate sign language into the spoken word...which I thought would be similar to a translation program, except with a pair of motion sensitive wireless gloves involved.
No.
That idea too is ableist, in the same way that stair-climbing wheelchairs are ableist.

Buildings absolutely should be wheelchair accessible.
I know that some just aren't, b/c they are pre/ADA and have not been updated. If you were in a chair, would you not want the option of climbing stairs if you REALLY wanted to? If so, why not?

It would be a hard struggle for me to learn ASL. For a lot of adult learners, you're asking them to study something for a year before they can communicate with an ASL user.
So I do very much believe in their inclusion rights.
But if you could have a translative device on your belt, why would you choose not to?
Or for that matter, a tablet that just says what you type? Because you might really need to communicate with, say, EMS,who may or may not know ASL.

I just observe for my own part that adaptation equals empowerment.

I was not attempting to say they needed fixed.Though it obviously came off like that.
Basically, I was presenting a shitty argument in a shitty way, and sticking my size 11 foot into my mouth.
More like... ok, that's a choice that effectively puts you outside mainstream society.
And I think that's a true but really asshole thing to say, and I should not have gone there.

 

[Stickler]

https://crippledscholar.wordpress.c...sible-technology-is-just-reinforcing-ableism/

The basic gist of the argument above is that not redesigning things to accommodate everyone puts a burden on the disabled, and that accessibility benefits everyone. Agreed and agreed.

Do the positions HAVE to be exclusive though? Can we not work harder on accommodating AND on adaptive tech? Too, the author rightfully points out the adaptive stuff's expensive., meaning that there's a high cost of...what disabled people ought to be able to access freely.
That...seems like it ought to be publicly funded or subsidized, so that how well you can get around isn't based on your income.

(I think my idea of a street-legal, high speed, propane-fired wheelchair is a bit unlikely... If a highly entertaining thought. It would be too heavy for many buildings. )

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...stand-up-comedian-who-cant-speak-9918102.html

This fellow uses an IPad app, so apparently a sign language reader's not required?
He has an inability to speak due to cerebral palsy