Sexual Assault Was I Molested As A Child? I'm Super Confused.

[yogaisthebest]

Hello. I am 13 right now and I am super confused. I know this is a stupid question but please tell me your opinion. I asked on yahoo answers and people didn't believe me and made fun of me. Anyways, when I was about 8 or 9 (third grade), I went to this crappy private school. Everyone bullied me and I was basically a loner. I also went on a bus since the school was about 30 minutes away from me. On our way home, there were these 2 kids (about 11-12 years) who were VERY sexual. They only talked about sex and we were alone so they asked me to play. The game we were playing was me pretending to be a baby the 2 older kids were my parents (one was a girl and the other was a guy). Then, they forced me to pretend that they had to change my diaper... I did and then the guy touched my vagina. He did only poke it but it scared me. I didn't tell anyone. I cried (later). Even now, I blame myself because if I said something, they could've stopped. I always shake and cry when I think about it. I can NOT tell my parents no matter what because sex is a forbidden topic in my house. I can't tell anyone because I'm scared that they will tell my mom. Sometimes I feel like nobody will love me if they found out and that everyone will make fun of me or no one will believe me.

 

[ssw]

Oh hunny... Of course people will loe you. I'm sure there are some that do now.

It's nt your fault. And it's important to know that it's okay.. You have. Right to cry and be upset.
I would talk to someone, at least. Someone closer to home that can advise you better with your parents.. I don't really know enough.

But don't be scared. You are loved. If hugs are accepted, hugs to you. Keep your head up.. You're much too young to hurt.

 

[Heather]

What happened to you WAS sexual abuse. You are going through a very similar situation that my daughter and two others (that we know of) went through.

I hope you hear me when I say this is NOT your fault. I'm sorry you are afraid to tell your parents. I hope you can find someone you trust that you can confide in.

You say you blame yourself for not speaking up when it happened and telling them to stop. This is a very normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Please give yourself a break. The blame is not yours it is with those boys.

I give you a lot of credit coming here at such a young age and telling your story. You are a very strong and brave young woman.

I hope you find healing and peace.

with love,

Heather

 

[Suzetig]

What you describe is sexual assault, it wasn't ok for them to do that to you. I hear you ask if you were sexually assaulted as a child and I guess my thinking is that at 13 you still are a child. Yes, as a teenager you perhaps have more capacity to understand what's happened but developmentally you've a lot of growing still to do. Is there someone in your life that you trust enough to talk to about what's happened so that they can support you and make sure you get the help you need?

 

[yogaisthebest]

Thank you. I actually have my best friend but she lives away from me. I will tell her when I go to her house, and she was abused too as a child, so I guess our relationship will grow stronger and better.

 

[ssw]

That's the spirit. Positive in the negative. :) beat if luck and healingto you.

 

[yogaisthebest]

:)

 

[Jamie P.]

I'm sort of in the same predicament now. Something happened to me when I was 6 and am just now coming out with it now it at age 30. Though it may be hard emotionally, write down everything you can remember of it so it's a better picture for those who hopefully you will tell. To save any worse feelings you may have in the future, tell someone now because it makes a whole lot of difference to let your feelings out, the sooner the better. They will love you and classmates will respect you and will make sure you get the right help that you deserve. I understand you were young and didn't know what was happening so it wasn't your fault and no one but them is to blame. Please find support groups, it makes such a difference being around others that "have been there." Find more forums like this one because repliers just as I am are giving you a mental hug.