Was my therapist now my best friend

[hithere]

What is her purpose for wanting to take a walk this weekend? Does she think you will fall apart if she doesn't stay in contact with you?

 

[Abstract]

My husband does not like her because of how our relationship started.

Ah! I thought you meant your new therapist wanted you to feel that way about him. Phew. OK. That's understandable.

This is the reason t's are supposed to keep boundaries. There is too much power. Having someone become dependent on them is very possible if someone is vulnerable. It takes an unhealthy person to want someone to be dependent on them in that way. An unhealthy therapist. Its not a real relationship in the way a normal equal relationship is. Even though aspects of it are of course real.

Can you start reassuring that part of yourself that you know what is best for you and that this isn't?

What can you do to commit to yourself that you wont go on the walk with her. Could you do something nice for yourself instead as a reward.

 

[EveHarrington]

Make plans with everyone else you know, as far out as you can.

This way, “oh sorry I’m busy” won’t be a lie.

 

[Bird33]

@Abstract i am trying to reassure myself that I don’t need her and this isn’t a healthy relationship.

I could try to do something with another friend or go to a hot yoga class.

The problem is I think she needs me just as much as I need her and there is a pull from both sides. I see her as being desperate too. She needs me too which actually make a things worse and more difficult to break away.

@EveHarrington Hahaha! I love your idea!

 

[Abstract]

I see her as being desperate too.

Totally see that. Its why she has done an unprofessional thing and made you dependent on her. But actually its not healthy for her either, as Justmehere mentioned, so even though it feels like it it isnt kind for her either.

Hope you manage!

 

[Bird33]

@Abstract thank you! This is so hard. She has been texting me today. I have responded but trying to keep my distance.

 

[hithere]

I know it's about a therapist, but it reminds me so much of some of my trauma bond (love addict) relationships. The other party was just as addicted.... The rush of positive feelings when together always came with a big "cost" for everyone, though. It was not fun. :( I feel for you.

 

[Bird33]

@hithere What do you mean trauma bond (love addict) relationships? And what do you mean by a cost? What cost?

 

[LuckiLee]

Hi there. I've been wondering how things are going for you, Bird33.

 

[Abstract]

Me too...

 

[Bird33]

@LuckiLee and @Abstract thank you for checking in and I wish I had a good report but sadly things have gotten much worse.

 

[LuckiLee]

Oh no. I'm so sorry.